Why Is It So Hard to Make Changes and Build New Habits?
As a nurse and personal trainer, I’ve seen firsthand how people struggle to make lasting changes, whether it's improving their diet, sticking to a workout routine, or adopting a healthier lifestyle. While we all know what we *should* do, the reality of doing it consistently is much more complicated. Why is it that we find it so hard to form new habits, and why do we often find ourselves regressing or sabotaging our progress? The answer lies largely in the way our brains are wired.
The Science Behind Habits: What Happens in Our Brains
Our brains are wired for efficiency. Habits—whether good or bad—allow the brain to conserve energy. Once we form a habit, our brain files it away in the basal ganglia, a region responsible for automatic behaviors. This automation frees up cognitive space, allowing us to focus on more complex tasks. Unfortunately, this mechanism doesn’t distinguish between habits that are beneficial and those that are harmful. This is why bad habits, like mindless snacking or skipping workouts, can become so ingrained.
When we try to change these habits or establish new ones, our brain resists. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and willpower, has to work harder to override the autopilot mode of the basal ganglia. This requires a lot of mental energy, and if we’re tired, stressed, or distracted, we’re more likely to revert to our old ways.
Why We Sabotage Ourselves
Even with the best intentions, many of us sabotage our progress. This can happen for several reasons:
1. Fear of Failure or Success: Change often brings uncertainty. Fear of failing to stick to new habits can discourage us before we even begin. On the flip side, some people fear success because it may come with new pressures or expectations.
2. Comfort Zones: Our brain likes predictability and routine. Even if our current habits are unhealthy, they are familiar. Change, no matter how positive, can trigger discomfort, leading us to revert to what feels safe and known.
3. Impatience: Creating new habits takes time. Research suggests it can take anywhere from 21 to 66 days to form a new habit, depending on its complexity. When we don’t see immediate results, we can become frustrated and give up too soon.
4. Stress and Decision Fatigue: Life’s daily stresses make it harder for the prefrontal cortex to function effectively. The more decisions we have to make in a day, the more fatigued we become, making us more likely to default to old habits.
How to Overcome the Challenges of Creating New Habits
Understanding why change is hard is the first step. The next step is figuring out how to make it easier. Here are some strategies that can help:
1. Start Small: The bigger the change, the more overwhelming it feels. Break down your goal into small, manageable steps. If you want to start exercising regularly, commit to just 10 minutes a day. As this becomes easier, you can gradually increase the time.
2. Consistency Over Perfection: Building a habit isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up. If you miss a day, don’t let it derail you. The key is to get back on track as soon as possible, without guilt or self-judgment.
3. Use Triggers and Cues: Linking a new habit to an existing one can help it stick. For example, if you want to practice mindfulness, you might decide to do it right after you brush your teeth. This creates a mental cue that helps anchor the new habit in your routine.
4. Celebrate Small Wins: Recognise and celebrate progress, no matter how small. Each time you complete a task related to your new habit, reward yourself with a positive affirmation or a small treat. Positive reinforcement helps rewire the brain to associate the habit with something enjoyable.
5. Accountability and Support: Share your goals with someone who can offer encouragement and hold you accountable. Whether it's a friend, family member, or coach, having someone to check in with can keep you motivated, especially on tough days.
6. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Change is hard, and setbacks are part of the process. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your efforts and understanding that progress isn’t always linear.
Conclusion
Making changes and forming new habits is hard work, but it’s not impossible. By understanding the brain’s natural resistance to change and implementing strategies to work with—rather than against—these tendencies, we can set ourselves up for success. Small, consistent actions, combined with patience and self-compassion, can lead to meaningful, lasting transformations. So, the next time you feel like giving up, remember that your brain is just doing its job—and you have the power to retrain it, one small habit at a time.