Hola,
The past month has been a mixed bag and not the cute kind. More like the “life keeps throwing bricks at my head, and I’m somehow still upright” kind. I’ve realised how much I miss my boys. I miss my plants, too, the ones that made my home feel alive. Someone stole one of the few I had left. Who does that?
Who looks at something living and thinks, yes, I’ll take that? I grew that from corms; it's one that I've had since the beginning of my plant collection. It was looking so beautiful, too.
On top of that, I’ve had scammers trying their luck, men sending unsolicited dick pics, and strangers declaring their love in my DMs… then turning nasty the moment I politely explain they don’t love me and they don’t stand a chance. It’s exhausting being a woman online, it’s exhausting being a woman, full stop.
My car decided to stop being reliable at the exact moment I needed it most, and because life has a sense of humour, shingles arrived right on schedule, as it always does when I’m stressed beyond capacity. I’ve also been eating like a poor person, which is not a personality trait, just the reality of trying to stretch pennies until they scream.
One good thing (actually, there have been two, as a friend kindly helped me, if you're reading this, thank you for trusting me) happened: I did my first speaking event. It had to be online thanks to the car situation and the shingles, but it went well. The women said they found it beneficial and want to meet again. That meant something, a small piece of light in a very heavy month. Summer is here, which helps. When I go for walks, I get to see flowers in other people’s gardens, bees doing their thing, butterflies drifting around as if they’ve never had a bad day in their lives.
Those tiny moments keep me going.
Nobody talks about how difficult life is when you have no support system. No one is cheering you on.
No one is saying, “Keep going, you’re doing well,” apart from the odd stranger online who drops a glimmer of hope into your world. People love to talk about resilience, but they never mention the loneliness that comes with it. I’m not sharing any of this for sympathy. I’m sharing it because this is my reality. Life keeps trying to slap me down, and I keep getting back up. I’m tired, bone‑deep tired, but I refuse to give in.
I’ve built courses that give people the tools I spent most of my life without. Tools that help them understand their bodies rather than fight against them. Tools I had to learn the hard way. Maybe that’s why I’m still standing and why I keep going.
Anyway, I hope life is treating you well, and you are enjoying the joy that summer brings.
Muchos love x