Let’s face it—modern dating is basically emotional roulette. You swipe right, you match, and then… nothing. Or worse: you get a “hey” and a disappearing act faster than your Uber Eats driver.
If you've ever had a full-blown existential crisis because someone unmatched you before you could even send your favorite GIF, welcome. You're among friends.
Now, let’s talk about how to actually connect with another human in this fast-paced, emoji-saturated, commitment-phobic apocalypse of a dating world.
1. Stop Performing. Start Being That Slightly Unhinged Version of Yourself
Listen, no one needs your LinkedIn-influencer-on-a-first-date energy. Be real. Be weird. Be the person who cries over Pixar movies and eats cereal for dinner. If they don’t vibe with that? Good. You dodged a therapy bill.
2. Stop Swiping Like It’s a Clearance Sale
Look, you don’t need 50 matches. You’re not collecting Infinity Stones. Focus on one person who maybe, just maybe, knows the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
Bonus: fewer “wyd” texts. Maybe.
3. Actually Meet People. Outside. Like... With Shoes On.
Shocking, I know—but real connection requires real-life interaction. Coffee, walking, mini-golf, or silently judging others at Target. If they refuse to meet in person, they’re either emotionally unavailable or a hologram. Either way, hard pass.
4. Sexy Is Cool. Emotionally Available Is Hot
Abs are fun. Therapy is forever. Find someone who asks how your day was and doesn’t flinch when you say, “I cried watching a Subaru commercial.” That’s soulmate energy.
5. Ignore Fast Replies That Lead Nowhere
You don’t need someone who texts back in 0.3 seconds just to say “lol.” You need someone who plans a date and doesn’t disappear like a magician in Vegas.
6. You Can’t Manifest Love If You’re Still in Love With Your Ex… or Your Own Toxicity
Heal a little. Or at least stop texting Chad at 2am. Sometimes the real connection you're searching for is the one between you and your self-worth.
Final Thought:
You’re not asking for too much. You’re just tired of connections that are all spark and no substance. So take your time. Be choosy. And for the love of your sanity, if someone opens with “send pics,” block them, bless them, and move on.
Because you’re not just a snack.
You’re the whole damn charcuterie board. 🧀✨