Maybe tall, toxic, and mysterious isn’t working out?
Let’s have an honest moment. You’re not just tired because of work, or stress, or the seven mental tabs you have open at all times.
You’re tired because you keep dating people who treat you like an optional side quest instead of the main storyline.
And guess what?
Your “type”—yes, that finely curated collection of red flags with a jawline—is probably the culprit.
“But I Can Fix Them…”
Oh, sweetheart. You’re not a therapist. You’re not a rehab center. And this is not a group project where you can carry someone to an emotional A+ while they ghost you for three days straight.
You keep going for the mysterious, brooding, emotionally unavailable type because they feel exciting. But that “spark” you think you feel? That’s anxiety, bestie. Your nervous system is not flirting—it’s warning you.
If you keep picking people who make you guess where you stand, don’t be shocked when you constantly feel off-balance.
Your Type Was Shaped in Chaos
Let’s be real: your “type” didn’t come out of nowhere. It was likely molded by early relationships, wounds you haven’t looked at yet, and a subconscious desire to “win” the love you didn’t get back then.
So when someone shows up calm, clear, and consistent, your first reaction isn’t excitement—it’s boredom.
Because you’ve mistaken peace for lack of chemistry.
That’s not chemistry. That’s just your trauma trying to pick someone familiar.
The Common Denominator Is… You
If your exes could start a group chat and agree on everything except treating you right, it’s time to pause and ask:
Why do I keep choosing this? What does it feel like to be loved—and why does that scare me?
We don’t say this to shame you. We say it to wake you up.
It’s not about blaming yourself—it’s about taking your power back.
You Deserve Better. But First, You Need to Want Better.
It’s one thing to say you want someone loyal, kind, and emotionally available.
It’s another to choose that person when they show up—and not sabotage it because it doesn’t feel like a drama-filled romcom with unpaid therapy bills.
Healthy love is not chaotic. It’s not confusing. It’s not hot and cold.
It’s secure. It’s safe. It’s boring only to the unhealed.
So, What Now?
- Stop ignoring red flags just because the sex is good.
- Stop calling it “chemistry” when it’s actually cortisol.
- Stop romanticizing the struggle when it’s clearly a one-sided effort.
Start dating people who text back, show up, and don’t treat your emotions like a punchline.
Start choosing the person who brings you peace—not the one who keeps you in pieces.
If your type keeps draining you, it’s time to change the pattern—not just the partner.
You’re not “too much.” You’re just giving too much to people who never earned it.
Choose differently. Choose better. Choose yourself.
And next time tall, toxic, and mysterious slides into your DMs with a half-baked compliment and deep emotional wounds?
Politely decline. Then take a nap.
You deserve rest—not repair.