Being selfless is a wonderful attribute, so they say. However, consistently giving more of yourself than you have to offer is a societal pitfall. Are you always taking care of others: their needs, wants, their everything? Then it’s time to take a step back and see to your own needs & start prioritising you own needs.
Taking care of yourself isn’t a selfish act. It is a necessity of life that will allow you to be a better person, give more, and maybe even set some boundaries in the process, here’s why.
YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY JUG
Metaphor time. Imagine you are a water jug that is full to the top. Now you pour a little water out at every adorable flower you happen upon. A little to the daisy, a little to the petunia, a little to the geranium. You keep giving and giving. Finally, you come to the very last little hydrangea. But you’re empty. You must go back to the hydrant, take care of yourself, and then return later with more water. You can’t pour from an empty jug.
THE “DO” MENTALITY
Continually checking your to-do list for the next item that needs to be done for your spouse, your children, or a friend is exhausting. This race to complete tasks as a way of showing your love, affection, or worthiness doesn’t allow you to stop and smell the roses or whatever flowers you like.
YOUR CRITICAL INNER VOICE
When you think of not doing something for someone else, and you hear a voice saying that’s “selfish,” that is your critical inner voice, and sometimes, she needs to be ignored. She is the same voice that says you shouldn’t take the time to read that romance novel or soak in a hot bath. She pushes you to be critical of yourself. With practice, you can learn to control that voice and find a happy medium.
STRESS HURTS
Running yourself ragged taking care of others is hard on the body. So is that accompanying stress. Stress is not just a mental side effect; it can also manifest in real and physical ways. Migraines, stomach aches, anxiety attacks, and many other forms of physical ailments can be caused by stress.
YOU DRAIN OTHERS
While you are running around taking care of others, you may also be draining to others. Are you constantly nagging at your partner or children to “help them”? Or is there someone who is running around trying to take care of you as well? Stop. Take care of yourself. And let others take care of themselves.
There may be moments in time when you need to prioritise someone else over yourself. However, you need to prioritise yourself some of the time, all the time.
It isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity.
STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK
If you want to really live an unapologetic life, then you need to stop thinking so much about what other people think of you.
We don’t mean your partner or other loved ones. We are talking about when you worry about people who simply don’t matter. Take our quick questionnaire below to see where you fit.
Do You Care too Much Questionnaire
For each of the upcoming statements, answer using one of the three numbers from below:
1 – This number signifies that you don’t relate to the statement at all. “This is never me”.
2 – This number signifies that you kind of relate to the statement. “This is sometimes me”.
3 – This number signifies that you really relate to the the statement. “This is often me”.
You think people are talking about you _____
You don’t feel comfortable expressing your true opinions _____
You don’t stick up for yourself _____
You aim to please _____
You don’t act like your true self _____
You can’t say no _____
You play it safe _____
You boast or exaggerate _____
You feel taken for granted _____
You are shy in social situations _____
Now add up your “score” from the previous page.
Compare your total to the guide below:
10 – You don’t care what people think at all. You live your life marching to the beat of your own drum and are proud to do so.
10-20 – You try not to care what people think, but it is sometimes a struggle. You should probably work on worrying less what people think about you. Follow the steps in this guide to help make sure you don’t fall into the trap of worrying too much.
20+ – You worry way too much about what others think. You probably care so much that is is probably negatively impacting your life.
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