How to Convince Your Spouse to Make Hijrah
In a perfect world, you’d wake up one morning, turn to your spouse, and say, “Let’s make hijrah!” and they’d eagerly respond, “Yes! When do we leave?”
For some, this might be the reality. But for many couples, one spouse is eager to embark on this journey, while the other is hesitant or unsure.
For men, the decision might feel more straightforward— as they are the leaders of the household and can confidently say, “We’re going!” However, for women, it’s often more complex, as their concerns or aspirations may depend on their husband’s agreement.
Either way, If you’re trying to inspire your spouse, here are three key steps you can take to encourage them while keeping your household united:
1. Make Dua
Dua is not just the first step—it’s the most critical. Nothing in our lives happens without Allah’s will, and that includes making hijrah. It’s easy to feel that your spouse is the obstacle standing between you and your goal, but in reality, the matter is entirely in Allah’s hands.
Start by asking Allah to guide and soften your spouse’s heart toward hijrah. Be consistent in your duas, whether during sujood, tahajjud, or even casual moments in your day. Remember that Allah hears every whisper of the heart, and He is capable of making the impossible possible.
Importantly, don’t let frustration or resentment build toward your spouse. Instead, view this as a test of patience and reliance on Allah. Make dua not just for your spouse’s agreement but also for the journey itself—that it will be smooth, filled with blessings, and ultimately pleasing to Allah.
When you recognize that this is between you and Allah, your perspective will shift. It’s no longer about convincing your spouse alone; it’s about placing your trust in Allah’s perfect plan.
2. Immerse Yourself in Hijrah Content
Actions often speak louder than words. Instead of constantly debating or trying to persuade your spouse, show your seriousness through consistent actions. This isn’t about pressuring them—it’s about demonstrating your commitment in a way that’s both inspiring and gentle.
Start by immersing yourself in hijrah-related content. Watch videos that highlight the benefits and challenges of hijrah. Read books or articles about your desired destination. Listen to podcasts or attend online lectures from people who have successfully made hijrah.
Make sure this content is visible and accessible. Leave books on the coffee table or listen to podcasts while your spouse is in the room. These subtle actions can pique their interest without feeling confrontational. Seeing your dedication might spark their curiosity and desire to be part of the journey.
When this happens, you can begin to bring hijrah into your everyday conversations. Talk about the benefits of living in a more Islamic environment, the opportunities for the family, and even the challenges—showing that you’ve thought this through realistically. Share stories of families who’ve made hijrah and found success.
Additionally, involve your spouse in the exploration process without pressuring them. For example, you could say, “I found this video about [your desired destination]. Do you want to watch it with me?” Or, “I read about a family who made hijrah—what do you think about their experience?” By opening the door for dialogue, you invite your spouse to engage without forcing the issue.
3. Practice Patience and Perseverance
Patience is perhaps the hardest step, but it’s also the most essential. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and convincing your spouse to make such a significant life decision will take time.
Remember, patience doesn’t mean passively waiting—it means actively maintaining your faith and effort while trusting Allah’s timing. There may be moments of doubt, frustration, or even setbacks, but these are opportunities to strengthen your resolve and reliance on Allah.
It’s also important to understand your spouse’s concerns and fears. Whether it’s about finances, leaving family behind, or adjusting to a new environment, these worries are valid. Be empathetic and open to their perspective. Address their concerns calmly and with practical solutions where possible.
Keep in mind that Allah’s plan unfolds in the best way, even if it doesn’t align with your timeline. Your spouse may take longer to come around than you’d like, but that doesn’t mean progress isn’t happening. Look for small signs of change—perhaps they start asking questions, showing interest, or even voicing tentative support. Celebrate these milestones and stay steadfast.
By persevering with sincerity and optimism, you not only work toward your goal but also earn reward in the process. As Allah says in the Quran:
“Verily, he who fears Allah with obedience to Him, and is patient, then surely, Allah makes not the reward of the Muhsinun (good-doers) to be lost.” [Yusuf 12:90]
“Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirun (the patient).” [al-Anfal 8:46]
My Personal Experience
When I approached my husband in 2020 about making hijrah, he wasn’t entirely opposed, but he had understandable concerns—primarily about finances. As the provider, his hesitation made sense. At first I was frustrated but I realised I had to take a different approach to help him see the vision I had.
So I applied these steps in my own life. I kept making dua, educated myself, and practiced patience. I'll be honest, sometimes I felt discourage. There were days that were harder than others and while it wasn’t easy, I stayed on course and Alhamdulila it eventually paid off.
Fast forward 3 years later, one night my husband casually asked, “When should I give my job two weeks notice?” I nearly hit the floor. For the next several weeks he actually began nagging about it! haha! SubhanAllah how Allah changes the heart!
Ironically, however, even though he was finally on board, Allah decreed that we wouldn’t leave at that time. (I'll share this in more detail in a future post inshaAllah)
And when we made our 2nd attempt nearly a year later, my husband was once again eagerly on board but once again Allah did not will it as our time to go. Which proves that although even if both you and your spouse are on board Allah will only allow things to happen on His time. SubhanAllah.
Now, we’re on our third attempt, and I’m praying it will be successful. May Allah grant success to all of us striving to make hijrah. Ameen.
I'll end this post with some encouraging words from Allah:
"Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – indeed, We will not allow to be lost the reward of any who did well in deeds." Surah Kahf 18:30
"The ones who have believed, emigrated and striven in the cause of Allah with their wealth and their lives are greater in rank in the sight of Allah. And it is those who are the attainers [of success]." Surah Tawbah 9:20
"And whoever emigrates for the cause of Allah will find on the earth many [alternative] locations and abundance. And whoever leaves his home as an emigrant to Allah and His Messenger and then death overtakes him – his reward has already become incumbent upon Allah. And Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful." Surah An-Nisa 4:100
Have an inspiring story to share? I want to hear it! Leave it in the comment section below.
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