When you attempt to provide help to someone with suicidal thoughts, are you doing this to help their current situation, or are you doing this for your own emotional health?
There’s a significant difference between the two. Would you like to see this person beat their current circumstances, or are you trying to prevent losing someone in your life? Not many people consider the latter, but it comes from a “selfish” place. However, it’s quite common in human nature.
Understanding the difference is imperative when it comes to providing the appropriate help to other individuals. If, in fact, you would like to prevent someone from committing suicide for their own well-being, then how can you assist them?
Yes, there are plenty of “Suicide Hotlines”, but do they work?
First, you need to ask yourself, “will speaking to a total stranger at my lowest point really help me”?
Many of us can’t find the benefit in that, and if it doesn’t work for YOU, then why would it work for someone ELSE?
Suicide Hotlines lack ONE very important thing; EMOTIONAL TRUST.
Friends and family members have an emotional-TIE of trust that is EXCLUSIVE, compared to strangers at the other end of a hotline.
Though, most of us are not equipped with techniques to deal with preventing suicide, and rightfully so.
Therefore, its’ crucial to understand how to deal with these negative states of mind. Not only to benefit our loved ones in their time of need, but to add to our currently reality of the world.
Let’s start by reframing the life of this individual contemplating suicide. It’s very easy to become mentally bogged down by negative circumstances in our life, especially when we are viewing these issues on a macro level. A person looking from a wide-angle view at their life, can easily become overwhelmed. Taking one’s life tends to look like the easiest option to make all of these things go away.
If we’re being honest, technically, they’re right.
If we teach others to separate each issue from another, and begin to view their circumstances on a micro level, then the overwhelming sensation subsides. This person can now resolve issue-by-issue until they’re in a more balanced position.
In a sense, they’re in a sinking boat. Each negative circumstance in their life is a weight within that boat. From a macro view, they’re aware the boat is sinking. There is no easy option, and they plan for death.
However, if this person views their circumstances from a micro perspective, they can isolate and remove each weight within the boat to inevitably save them from sinking. One-by-one, this individual separates and removes each heavy object. Their current frame of mind was dangerous due to its inability to focus. Reframing the life of this individual creates a life-saving perspective.
Now, if suicide technically is a realistic option to resolve their issues, then why should they continue to live?
This is a GOLDEN QUESTION! Why should they continue on?
This goes back to my initial question,”who are we preventing suicide for, THEIR LIFE or OUR FEELINGS”?
Another aspect to reframing for this person is to have them see the WORLD through a MACRO lens. Just as they should look at their string of negative circumstances through a MICRO lens, they need to view the world from a larger perspective.
It’s very important for them to understand that the beauty of life isn’t just written by the GREAT things in life, but also the ROUGH.
As the saying goes, “there’s no light without darkness”. This is very much so TRUE here. During our rough times, we attract different people, conversations, and insights. Along with that, we add pieces to our character that never could have been achieved during a stress-free stage of our life.
These LOW TIMES are not only very powerful for creating our overall contribution in the world, but they’re ESSENTIAL.