I’ve never been in a relationship that inspires me to be better. I’ve naturally always desired better for myself. I’ve encouraged and inspired so many to desire better. Never thought I would be relearning everything that makes me who I am. I felt like I ran away from myself, living in darkness, having faith that things would change for me. Expressing gratitude for not being where I used to be but fearfully accepting I allowed myself to be used, abused, and taken advantage of as if I truly didn’t know my worth. Settling for less than I deserve but more than I’ve had. Thinking it was better because it was more. Still misunderstood that it wasn’t deserving of me because god said I could have more and better. Why was I willing to just accept less? Why do I feel as if I have been stuck in a time loop? I feel as if when I consciously think about it I freak out. How am I to get out of this? What’s the first step? Cleansing, praying, meditating…Lord, is it working? Is it worth it? Is anything changing? I ask myself as heaviness builds up in my chest. I want to truly feel the relief mentally, emotionally, and financially as I inhale to exhale.
Am I receiving the signs right? Am I hearing the right messages?
Why can’t I fully accept love? Is it because of my past experiences or is it because I’m scared I won't receive fully the way I’m willing to give? Fully.
How did I get here? Did I ask this question already?
I have been saying my affirmations, expressing gratitude, visualizing, and showing up!
Maybe I’m showing up at the wrong times.
Maybe I’m where I'm truly supposed to be.
My everyday blessings are miracles and maybe I’m just being hard on myself.
Counting my blessings one by one
Saying them out loud.
My throat chakra felt as if it had been blocked and closed.
I started to feel like I couldn’t fully express myself or articulate myself effectively.
Who tf am I?
I’ve never had a problem with expressing myself, communicating effectively, or articulation.
The leadership skills I once possessed felt as if they were fading away. My mind was slipping away from me.
I haven’t experienced a spiritual awakening like this since 2017.
I didn’t realize how all of my past trauma took a piece of me…the moment I sat down to hug myself was when I realized I had the power to put myself back together.
I'm reprogramming myself again, I'm unlearning and relearning, I'm growing my mind, building my body, and strengthening my emotional intelligence. I'm a work in continuous progression. It’s not easy to face your traumas and past experiences, but it’s necessary for growth. It takes courage to confront the parts of yourself that you’ve been avoiding. But the reward is worth it. When you start to heal, you’ll start to see things in a different light. You’ll have a greater appreciation for your journey and the lessons you’ve learned. You’ll start to attract people and situations that are in alignment with who you truly are. You’ll start to feel a sense of peace that shows you the light has been visible it just requires you to see things with new eyes. A set of eyes that realize real lies that can help you change your perspective and see through rose-colored glasses.
If you are someone who is in search of the light, look within and seek a new perspective.
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