This document constitutes the complete Terms of Liquidation (“Terms”) governing all interactions with PARK & CURE, including but not limited to:

* Submission of intake forms via Tally (tally.so/r/7R5NoL)

* Purchase of digital reports and products via Payhip (payhip.com/ParkNCure)

* Any communication, data submission, or transaction

By submitting an intake form, completing a purchase, or otherwise engaging with PARK & CURE, you (“the Cloghead”, “Data Subject”, “Buyer”) agree to be bound by these Terms.

If you do not agree, close this tab and crawl back into your manhole.

You expressly warrant and confirm you are at least 18 years of age.

We do not knowingly sell to minors. If we discover a minor has purchased, the transaction is cancelled, the data purged immediately, and any payment refunded to the fullest extent required by law. Where refund is not legally mandated, the minor's guardian will be contacted and the data purged.

Minors: go do your homework. Ah-Ma doesn't deal with underage clogheads.

THE KILL CODE:

All services and reports are satirical entertainment, dark comedy, and metaphorical troubleshooting only.

STRICTLY NOT:

* Medical, psychological, psychiatric, or therapeutic advice or diagnosis

* Legal advice

* Financial or investment advice

* Occult, spiritual, religious, or exorcism practice

No service constitutes a clinical diagnosis, medical assessment, or therapeutic intervention. The words “diagnosis,” “treatment,” “autopsy,” and “prescription” are used purely as satirical metaphors for editorial commentary. PARK & CURE is not a healthcare provider, licensed therapist, counsellor, or medical professional of any kind.

If you are in immediate danger, experiencing suicidal ideation, or in a mental health crisis: put your phone down and dial 999 / 911 / your local crisis line immediately. Ah-Ma holds a plunger, not a defibrillator.

You are solely responsible for your own life choices, actions, reactions, and any outcomes — real or imagined — arising from your engagement with PARK & CURE. Consume at your own risk. This is entertainment, not a lifeline.

3.1 No Consent by Browsing

Mere browsing, scrolling, or lurking on parkncure.com, Payhip, Tally, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, or X does NOT constitute agreement to these Terms. Binding agreement is obtained only when you actively tick the mandatory checkboxes at intake and/or checkout.

3.2 Tally Intake Form — Independent Consent

By submitting the Tally intake form at tally.so/r/7R5NoL, you confirm that:

* You have read and agreed to these Terms of Liquidation and the Privacy Policy at [https://payhip.com/ParkNCure/legal]

* You grant explicit consent for PARK & CURE to process the data you submit — including any data that may be considered sensitive under applicable laws — for the purpose of producing a satirical editorial report

* You understand the Tally intake form is a separate data collection point from the Payhip checkout, and that consent granted at intake applies to the processing of your submission data

* You understand that Tally acts as a data processor on behalf of PARK & CURE, and that Tally is GDPR-compliant and stores data in Europe

3.3 Hong Kong PDPO — Data User Notification

Pursuant to the Personal Data (Privacy) Ordinance (Cap. 486) (“PDPO”) and Data Protection Principle 1(3), PARK & CURE hereby notifies you as follows:

Requirement: Purpose of Collection

Disclosure: To produce and deliver a satirical editorial report, to improve diagnostic templates, and to maintain transaction records

Requirement: Classes of Transferees

Disclosure: Tally (form processing, EU-based), Payhip and its payment processors (Stripe), email service providers

Requirement: Obligation to Provide

Disclosure: You provide data voluntarily. If you do not provide sufficient data, we may refuse to produce a report

Requirement: Consequences of Non-Provision

Disclosure: Refusal of service or an incomplete report

Requirement: Access & Correction Rights

Disclosure: You have the right to request access to and correction of your personal data by emailing parkedforever@proton.me. We will comply within 40 days as required by section 19(1) of the PDPO

Requirement: Contact for Access/Correction

Disclosure: parkedforever@proton.me

Requirement: Retention

Disclosure: Raw submissions deleted post-processing. Transaction records: 7 years (tax). Form metadata: 12 months. Server logs: 30 days

PARK & CURE's data user obligations under the PDPO are non-delegable, even when processing is outsourced to cloud service providers such as Tally. We have entered into a Data Processing Agreement with Tally to ensure GDPR-compliant processing.

3.4 Cross-Border Data Transfer

Your data may be transferred to and processed in jurisdictions outside Hong Kong, including the European Union (Tally's servers in Belgium) and the United States (Payhip/Stripe). Section 33 of the PDPO (cross-border transfer restriction) is not yet in force in Hong Kong. However, where you are located in the EU/EEA or UK, transfers are protected under GDPR/UK GDPR safeguards, including Standard Contractual Clauses where applicable.

3.5 Direct Marketing Consent (PDPO s.35C)

PARK & CURE will not use your personal data for direct marketing purposes (including promoting new products, upsells, or related services) without your explicit and separate consent. Any consent to direct marketing must be obtained separately from your consent to processing for report production. You may withdraw consent at any time by emailing parkedforever@proton.me.

3.6 GDPR / UK GDPR — Explicit Consent for Special Category Data

If you are located in the EU/EEA or UK, you acknowledge that by submitting the Tally form, you may be disclosing special category data under Article 9 of the GDPR (including data concerning health, sex life, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, or political opinions). You provide explicit consent for PARK & CURE to process such data solely for the purpose of producing your satirical editorial report. You may withdraw this consent at any time, but this will not affect the lawfulness of processing already carried out.

4.1 Your Raw Inputs

You retain ownership of the raw text and materials you submit. However, by submitting, you grant PARK & CURE an irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive licence to:

* Adapt, refine, edit, and transform your raw inputs

* Create derived editorial and diagnostic outputs

* Use anonymised or aggregate elements for commercial purposes, including reports, content, and marketing

4.2 Our Outputs

All refined outputs, diagnostic templates, report structures, branding, visual assets, and original content produced by PARK & CURE remain the exclusive property of PARK & CURE. You may not reproduce, redistribute, or resell any report delivered to you without written permission.

4.3 Warranty of Non-Infringement

You warrant that any content you submit does not infringe the intellectual property rights, privacy rights, or any other rights of any third party. If your submission contains someone else's copyrighted material or personal data, you are solely liable for any claims arising from it. Ah-Ma will not be your lawyer. You stole it, you own the consequences.

5.1 Liability Cap

To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, PARK & CURE shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages, including but not limited to:

* Emotional distress or existential dread

* Loss of profits, income, or business opportunity

* Reputational harm

* Any decision made or action taken based on a report

In any case, our total aggregate liability to you is strictly limited to the amount you paid for the specific service or $100 USD (whichever is lower).

5.2 Non-Excludable Liability

Nothing in these Terms excludes or limits liability for:

* Death or personal injury caused by negligence

* Fraud or fraudulent misrepresentation

* Wilful misconduct

* Any other liability that cannot be lawfully excluded under applicable law

5.3 Seller of Record & Tax Responsibility

PARK & CURE is the legal seller of record for all transactions conducted through Payhip. Payhip is not a Merchant of Record (MoR) and does not assume legal seller status. However, Payhip automatically handles EU VAT and UK VAT collection and remittance on our behalf as a marketplace facilitator. As such:

* PARK & CURE is responsible for registering, filing, and remitting applicable taxes in jurisdictions where required

* Payhip automatically handles EU VAT and UK VAT collection and remittance on our behalf

* For US sales tax, Canada GST/HST, and Australia GST, Payhip is responsible for collection and remittance as a marketplace facilitator where applicable

* Buyers are responsible for any applicable local taxes, duties, or import fees not collected at checkout

* PARK & CURE does not provide tax advice to buyers

5.4 AI-Assisted Content

Some diagnostic outputs may be assisted by algorithmic or AI-powered tools. All outputs are satirical editorial content for entertainment purposes only. As with all AI-generated or AI-assisted content, outputs may contain errors, inaccuracies, or unintended results. You acknowledge that you use any report at your own risk and will not rely on it for any important life decision. PARK & CURE is solely responsible for the editorial content of its reports, and you are solely responsible if you choose to publish, share, or act on any part of a report publicly or with any other person.

5.5 Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region. Nothing in these Terms affects any mandatory consumer protection rights you may have under the laws of your own jurisdiction.

5.6 Indemnification

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless PARK & CURE, its operators, agents, and service providers from any claims, liabilities, damages, losses, or legal fees arising from:

* Your violation of these Terms

* Your submitted content

* Your violation of any third-party rights

* Any unlawful or prohibited use of the service

6.1 Digital Services & Downloads

By ticking the mandatory checkout confirmation box, you expressly request immediate performance of our digital extraction and diagnostic service, and you acknowledge that your statutory right of withdrawal — including any 14-day EU/UK cooling-off period — is lost once processing commences upon purchase, to the maximum extent permitted by law.

All digital deliveries are final and non-refundable where permitted by law. Where non-waivable statutory rights apply, they are not affected.

EU/UK Consumers: You expressly consent to immediate commencement of the digital service and acknowledge the loss of your 14-day withdrawal right once supply begins. However, EU/UK consumers retain the right to bring proceedings in their local courts where mandatory consumer protection laws apply.

6.2 Defective Physical Merchandise (Future POD)

If physical print-on-demand goods are introduced and arrive damaged:

* Contact parkedforever@proton.me within 7 days of receipt

* Provide photo evidence of the defect

* We will arrange replacement or store credit at our discretion

* This does not affect your statutory rights, including any EU/UK 14-day withdrawal right for physical goods or the 2-year legal guarantee under EU law

6.3 Service Refusal

We reserve the right to refuse service or flush submissions at our sole discretion, including for:

* Suspected fraudulent or stolen trauma

* Abusive, threatening, or illegal content

* Violation of these Terms or platform policies

In cases of service refusal, we will issue a refund to the extent required by applicable law.

7.1 Email First

Before initiating any formal dispute, you agree to email parkedforever@proton.me and attempt good-faith negotiation for 30 days.

7.2 Mediation & Arbitration

If negotiation fails, disputes shall be resolved as follows:

* Mediation: Non-binding mediation in Hong Kong SAR, conducted in English

* Arbitration: Binding arbitration administered by the Hong Kong International Arbitration Centre (HKIAC) under the HKIAC Administered Arbitration Rules in force at the time of the arbitration notice

* Language: English

* Seat: Hong Kong SAR

* Expedited Procedure: Available for claims under $5,000 USD

* No Class Actions: All disputes must be brought individually, not as part of any class, collective, or representative proceeding

* No Jury Trials: You waive any right to a jury trial

* Costs: The prevailing party may recover reasonable legal costs

7.3 EU/UK Consumer Safeguard

EU/UK consumers retain the right to bring proceedings in their local courts where mandatory consumer protection laws apply. Nothing in this arbitration clause overrides your mandatory statutory rights as an EU/UK consumer.

7.4 Injunctive Relief

Notwithstanding the above, either party may seek injunctive or equitable relief in the courts of Hong Kong SAR to protect intellectual property rights or prevent irreparable harm.

7.5 Forum Non Conveniens Waived

To the extent permitted by law, you waive any objection based on forum non conveniens or similar doctrines regarding proceedings brought in Hong Kong SAR courts or HKIAC arbitration.

By submitting the Tally intake form, you additionally confirm:

1. Data Processor Relationship: Tally acts as a data processor on behalf of PARK & CURE. A Data Processing Agreement is in place between PARK & CURE and Tally, ensuring GDPR-compliant processing. Tally stores form data encrypted in transit and at rest, in Europe.

2. Consent to Processing: You grant explicit consent for PARK & CURE to process your submitted data, including sensitive personal reflections, for the purpose of producing a satirical editorial report.

3. Upload Restrictions:

* Maximum file size: 10MB per file

* No NSFW content — no pornography, sexual content, or obscene material

* No illegal content — no evidence of crimes, no content that violates any law

* No third-party private data — no other people's personal data, ID numbers, addresses, or financial information

* You are solely responsible for ensuring your uploads comply with these restrictions

4. Crisis Disclaimer: Tally intake is not monitored for crisis support. If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services (999/911) or a crisis line. Ah-Ma is a data plumber, not a paramedic.

5. 150-Word Minimum: Submissions under 150 words may be flushed without processing. Ah-Ma manually checks.

By completing a purchase on Payhip, you additionally confirm:

1. Age: You are 18 or older.

2. Immediate Performance: You expressly request commencement of processing now. You understand your 14-day right of withdrawal will be lost once supply of the digital report has begun.

3. Nature of Service: You understand this is satirical art — not therapy, and not medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice.

4. Terms Accepted: You have read and agree to the Terms of Liquidation and Privacy Policy at [https://payhip.com/ParkNCure/legal]. Where non-waivable statutory rights apply, they are not affected.

5. Seller of Record: You understand PARK & CURE is the legal seller and Payhip is not the Merchant of Record.

6. Payment Processing: Payments are processed via Stripe. PARK & CURE does not store your payment card details.

For the full Privacy Policy, see https://payhip.com/ParkNCure/legal.

Category: Raw intake submissions

Retention Period: Deleted after report processing

Category: Refined reports

Retention Period: Retained for record-keeping and IP purposes

Category: Transaction records

Retention Period: 7 years (tax compliance)

Category: Form metadata

Retention Period: 12 months

Category: Server/log data

Retention Period: 30 days

Category: Email correspondence

Retention Period: Retained as necessary for service delivery

Your Rights:

* PDPO (HK): Right to access and correct personal data. Contact parkedforever@proton.me. Response within 40 days.

* GDPR (EU/EEA) & UK GDPR: Right to access, rectification, erasure, restriction, portability, and objection. Email “DATA RIGHTS” to parkedforever@proton.me.

* CCPA/CPRA (California): Right to know, delete, and opt-out of sale. We do not sell personal data.