1. DATA CONTROLLER & BASIS

Controller: Park & Cure (HK). 

Legal Basis: Contractual necessity and explicit consent.

2. THIRD PARTIES & CROSS-BORDER

Payhip/Stripe, ProtonMail, MailerLite, and platforms 

(Spotify, Apple Music, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, etc.). 

Cross-border transfers safeguarded by SCCs where required.

3. RETENTION & RIGHTS

Emails kept until you unsubscribe or request deletion. 

You possess the right to access, rectify, or demand erasure 

under GDPR/CCPA/PDPO.

4. COOKIES

Minimal essential cookies only. No analytics or tracking cookies.

5. INQUIRIES

parkedforever@proton.me

1. AGE WARRANTY

You expressly warrant you are at least 18. 

We do not knowingly harvest data from minors.

2. NATURE & DISTRIBUTION

Satirical dark comedy. NOT professional advice. 

Distributed across web, social (IG, YouTube, Pinterest, etc.), 

and audio (Spotify, Apple Music, Podcasts, etc.).

3. AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT

Mere browsing ≠ agreement. Explicit consent is obtained when 

you check a box at Payhip checkout or subscribe via email.

4. IP

All original website content, branding, audio, and text are the 

exclusive property of Park & Cure.

5. LIABILITY

Not liable for indirect damages or emotional distress. 

Nothing herein excludes liability for death, personal injury 

from negligence, or fraud.

6. LAW

HK law, subject to your local mandatory consumer protection laws.

7. FULFILMENT

Physical goods are produced and shipped by independent 

print-on-demand partners. Delivery timelines, customs duties, 

and carrier policies are governed by the partner.

DIGITAL DOWNLOADS

Due to the immediate nature of digital downloads, you expressly 

request immediate performance and acknowledge you will lose your 

right of withdrawal before the expiry of the withdrawal period. 

ALL SALES FINAL.

CUSTOMISED / POD GOODS

All physical merchandise is printed to order. Customised goods 

are exempt from standard cooling-off rights under applicable 

consumer laws. We do not accept returns or refunds for buyer's 

remorse, incorrect sizing, or creative differences.

DEFECTIVE / DAMAGED

Item arrived damaged or misprinted? Contact within 7 days with 

photo evidence for a replacement. No refunds for creative 

alterations.

parkedforever@proton.me

By subscribing to Park & Cure communications or interacting with 

our diagnostics, you explicitly agree:

1. VOLUNTARY MASOCHISM

Content is for satirical entertainment purposes only. It is not 

professional, medical, or legal advice.

2. ANONYMIZED ROASTING

You grant us permission to use aggregated, anonymized interaction 

data to fuel our satirical content. Your identity remains safe; 

your collective despair is public domain.

3. THE EJECT BUTTON

You may withdraw consent and demand data deletion anytime via 

parkedforever@proton.me. No hard feelings (or maybe a little).

4. NO COMPENSATION

Unless we accidentally wire you a million dollars, which we won't.