Let's go over not just tips for picking up a girl, but rules you should never forget.
1. CHOOSE THE TYPE OF APPROACH THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU
There are various types of approaches, from the most direct to the least direct.
Specifically, categorizing the types of approach based on when interest you show, here's what comes out: Approach:
PURE INDIRECT
How it works: you don't let the girl know your intentions Degree of interest shown:
Example of an approach phrase:
"Hi, can you tell me where place X is?"
Approach: INDIRECT
How it works: you don't make your intentions clear, but they are still understood Degree of interest shown: low Example of approach phrase:
"Hi, can you tell me if they make good cocktails at this bar?
Approach: SEMIDIRECT
How it works: you don't overtly say you're trying, but it's quickly understood Degree of interest shown: medium Example of approach phrase:
"Hi, can you buy me a drink?" 🙂
Approach: DIRECT
How it works:
Make it openly clear from the start that you're trying: high Degree of interest shown: high Example of an approach phrase: "Hi, you're beautiful and I want to meet you." (To see many more examples of pickup phrases you can read this article on approach phrases).
As you see you can approach a girl in many ways, which one to choose then? The basic rule is this: choose the type of approach that suits you best, the one you like best, the one you feel most confident with.
Maybe at first, like many men, you will start with a pure indirect type of approach, so you can let go of your shyness with women and fear of approaching.
That's perfectly fine, start with that, then slowly experiment with others find your own seductive style, which is your personal way of picking up and seducing women.
2. DON'T LOOK FOR THE PERFECT APPROACH PHRASE
The phrase you use to approach is less important than you think. "But how Steve!!!?
They told me there are perfect pick-up phrases that always impress a girl!" Well...you've been told wrong. 🙂 The phrase with which you break the ice serves you more than her, that is, it serves you more to give you charge and confidence.
In fact, she won't even remember the phrase with which you approached her, she won't remember the first thing you said to her, I guarantee it. 🙂
This is to pass on a message to you: pick a phrase you like and don't go crazy looking for the perfect phrase... because it simply doesn't exist!
3. DEVELOP YOUR PITCH
I know, you're afraid of running out of things to say, don't worry, we've all been there. In fact, at first, when you approach a woman, you will have to do most of the talking, you will have to keep the conversation going. The good news is that this, among the skills you need to pick up a woman, is among the easiest to develop.
In fact, your brain only needs to train itself to do two things: Don't look for the perfect thing to say Connect in agility various topics If it sounds difficult believe me: it's not at all., you just need some training.
4. LOOK AFTER YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
Body language is part of what is called "nonverbal communication," that is, communication that does not occur through speech.
In seduction this type of communication is extra-important, because after all...we are animals. 🙂 The basic rule for your body language is that it should be open, relaxed, and take up space.
This means don't keep your shoulders tight, have your body relaxed and don't stand tightly in the space around you.
If you are looking for more information read the article--How to impress a girl by becoming more beautiful ?
5. THINK THAT IT'S JUST A WAY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE
If the idea of approaching and hooking up scares you, if the concept causes you problems, adopt another way of looking at it: think of it as just a way to meet new people.
Talking to people is normal, and meeting new people is a beautiful thing-in fact, for many people it is also a much more relaxing concept than approaching.
Adopt this view, develop your social skills, and have fun doing it.
6. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET HER KNOW YOU'RE HITTING ON HER
The fact that there are indirect approaches, in which you do not immediately show your intentions, does not mean that she should never understand that you are trying on the contrary!
The approach is one thing, what comes after is quite another matter. At some point you will have to make it clear that you are trying.
At the beginning of my seductive improvement journey I would only make indirect approaches and then continue with totally indirect behavior for fear of trying, for fear of showing my interest.
Yes, it can happen to you too, that's why I'm telling you this so that you don't make the same mistakes I did. So first let go of mental blocks like "She'll think I'm like all men who hit on her!" Bullshit!
If you act differently, if you act like a real man, if and learn the pickup tips we explain on this site, she will never think that.
Trying, showing your interest without fear of the woman in front of you, earns you points in her eyes, confidence and charisma are things that girls really like and make you desirable.
Well, have you decided that you want to overcome this fear but don't know how to do it? Very simple, as an exercise to get unstuck at some point in the conversation you can say "You know, actually I don't give a damn about this nonsense, the fact is that I find you beautiful and I'm dying to get to know you better" BUM!😉
This will serve you at first to desensitize yourself thus letting go of the fear of trying. Do this 5 times and you'll be fine!
7. STOP WITH EXCUSES You see a woman, you want to go talk to her, but inside you create a thousand excuses not to.
Yes, I know, you think they are real things like, "She is talking to someone now," "I would disturb her," , "Better some other time," "But I'm ugly!!!" etc etc. I've heard them all don't get away from me :-).
It's all bullshit, it's all idiotic excuses, I've been there and we've all been there, it's normal but they have to be overcome, okay? So next time you tell yourself these things admit to yourself that they are just excuses and most importantly take action!
8. OVERCOME YOUR APPROACH ANXIETY STEP BY STEP
Here's the real point of the matter, the excuses you tell yourself in fact stem from your approach anxiety, thus the fear of approaching to pick up a stranger.
Don't worry, it's normal, we've all had it, I haven't met a single man in my life who didn't have strong approach anxiety at first, at most I've known men who seemed like they didn't have it but in fact I simply knew how to handle it well.
In fact, this fear can be safely overcome, just do it in small steps.
How? For example, don't think of starting with super direct approaches that might intimidate or even block you, you can simply start by asking for information (pure indirect approach) and slowly move on to "stronger" approaches. If you are looking for more information I refer you to the article on approach anxiety.
9. ADOPT THE MENTALITY OF CARRYING VALUE
This is the most powerful mindset you can have in approaching a woman and in meeting girls in general. Some people say that with girls you have to act like you are the prize of interaction.
Well, excuse my French: these big dicks okay! If you are the prize why do you go to her? Why do you go to the girl you want to approach!
This "I'm the prize" bullshit leave it to people who have low self-esteem and want to convince themselves they're worth it (when in fact they're not worth a damn).
Knowing you are worth and having self-esteem is one thing, feeling like the prize of interaction is another; they are two very different things.
The right mindset for approaching a woman is to bring value into her life; value can be anything from sex, to a relationship, from a simple smile to a fun conversation.
This applies to any girl, especially with those who are highly courted. So approach with this mindset and you will see very different reactions.
10. IMPROVE YOUR LOOK TO PICK UP MORE EASILY
It is obvious that we form an opinion about people by how they dress, then the opinion can change it is obvious, but at the beginning we reason with the data we have.
In seduction, when you pick up a girl, it works like this: a neat look gives you some extra points to create attraction in a woman, especially at the beginning of the interaction.
Then, if you're a dork the right look won't change things and she will say hello, if you're good at it then she will be attracted.
Of course, the right look does not mean being signed from head to toe or even spending more, on the contrary! It means having your own style that will impress and get you noticed.
For this reason, think about how you dress: could you dress better? If the answer is yes and you don't know how then I suggest you start here.
11. CREATE A POWERFUL ATTRACTION IN HER (DON'T BE A FRIEND)
Many men when confronted with a woman they want to seduce talk and talk and talk--with no real purpose.
That is, in reality in their minds the purpose is there, but in reality their actions are just that of someone babbling nonsense and being a friend (and will inevitably end up in the friend zone, the damn friend zone).
You have to try and you have to do it right, you have to show your seductive characteristics, otherwise you will end up being a friend.
How should you behave with a girl to create a powerful attraction in her? There are no magic phrases for picking up a girl; instead, there are winning behaviors.
Here are some useful resources: How to flirt with a girl How to hit on a girl 8 effective seduction techniques
Here are some useful resources:
- HOW TO NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY TO A GIRL
- HOW TO BE FUNNY: 7 WAYS TO JOKE + 6 RULES FOR MAKING JOKES
- HOW TO FLIRT: 5 PRACTICAL WAYS
12. TAKE HER SIDE
When you are hitting on a woman and there are other people, at some point the thing to do is to take her aside (it's called "isolation.")
Being alone you and her allows you to take the seduction to the next level, for example you can: try more shamelessly make more physical contact take the conversation to deeper topics (see next point) All these are things you can't do when you are with other people because she might get embarrassed, so now you know what to do: at some point find a way to be alone with her.
How to do it in practice?
It depends a lot on the situation. For example, if you are in a club you can say, "I'm going to get something to drink, will you keep me company?" Almost every situation has a way to do this.
13. DON'T ASK FOR THE NUMBER TOO EARLY
The mistake a man often makes when picking up a girl is to focus on getting a girl's phone number. Then maybe the guy comes back to his friends all excited with his cell phone in his hand and says, "Guys, she gave me her number!
Yeah,good boy, then tomorrow though she doesn't answer you, assuming the number is real! 🙂
Of course, because a girl knows perfectly well that if she gives you the number you then leave so it's a way to send you away. 🙂
This obviously happens if you ask for the phone number too early. In fact, two things have to happen before you ask for it: you have to create attraction and then you have to create rapport.
In fact, as explained in the stages of seduction, attraction is that moment when she becomes attracted to you, while rapport comes later, when the conversation gets deeper and you get to know each other better.
If one of these two phases is missing, she will not respond to you the next day-it's mathematical! Here are some articles to delve into the rapport stage:
Rapport: what is it? How to really get to know a woman: the two types of rapport
read this article if you want to know more about this:Rapport
Hasta luego!
Steve