I remember the night so clearly—the first night home with my newborn. The hospital had felt safe, like a bubble where nurses reassured me that I was doing okay. But at home? It was just me, my husband, and this tiny, wrinkly human who relied on me for absolutely everything.
That night, she wouldn’t stop crying. I had fed her, changed her, rocked her, swaddled her—nothing worked. My body was sore, my eyes burned from exhaustion, and I could feel that familiar lump rising in my throat, the one that comes when you’re about to break down. Was I doing something wrong?
I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my screaming baby, and thought, Maybe I’m not cut out for this.
I had read all the books, watched the videos, and listened to every piece of advice people had thrown my way. “Babies love swaddling,” they said. Not mine. “Put them down drowsy but awake.” Yeah, right. “Trust your instincts.” What instincts?!
But in that moment, something shifted. I stopped thinking about what I should do and just focused on my baby. I took a deep breath, loosened her swaddle, and gently placed her against my chest, skin to skin. Slowly, her tiny body relaxed. Her cries softened. Her breaths started to match mine.
And just like that, she fell asleep.
That night, I learned something no book or expert could teach me—I knew my baby better than anyone else. And even though I didn’t have all the answers, I could figure it out, one moment at a time.
Motherhood is overwhelming. The newborn stage, especially, makes you question everything. Am I feeding her enough? Is she too hot? Too cold? Why does she hiccup so much? When will I sleep again?
Here’s what I wish someone had told me that night: You are not alone. Every new mom feels lost in the beginning. The secret isn’t in following all the “right” advice—it’s in learning your baby, trusting yourself, and giving yourself grace.
If you’re in the thick of it right now, let me remind you: You are cut out for this. You’re learning. Your baby is learning. And together, you’ll figure it out.
One night, one cuddle, one deep breath at a time.
With love,
Dr. Hamayil Zahid (RPh.)
@step_by_step.parenting