“I know what criteria I don't want in a partner but I do not know or have a firm idea of what I criteria want. I believe I should have both but to date, I don't know.
And I also question what value I will bring or what he will bring to a marriage. I have been struggling with this question for so long and to date I don't have the answer.
Thus, why I know I am not there yet for marriage.”
What does it mean to be “marriage material”?
When I was 18, I already thought of getting married.
I joined a seminar on marriage in Islam and it changed the way I thought of relationships. As an 18-year-old young man, I already set in my mind that I won’t be interested in a casual romantic relationship.
Of course, I didn’t end up getting married at 18 (I got married at 23), but it jumpstarted my journey to get married on the right foot. My mindset was settled correctly and my compass was pointing north.
I treated women with respect and I never thought of wanting a girlfriend, though I do want a serious relationship.
Serious relationship = marriage.
To simplify, I turned myself into a man who is “married material” when my perspective was set correctly about how I see women and relationships. This will be the setup for how I see marriage, and further down the road, parenting.
That perspective was shaped by the principle I hold, and yes, I go back to my spiritual roots - Allah.
I keep asking myself this simple question, “If Allah likes it, I’ll do it.”
That was the compass I used to navigate my way until I got married.
That’s it for today.
See you tomorrow.
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