Geriatric H*es: I Got Catfished by a Man Using His Grandson’s Photos, Now We’re in Couples Therapy and I Kinda Love Him

Hereticene (82, scandalous, and sex-starved):

I signed up for Tinder to get railed by a twenty-something with stamina, not fall for a lying silver fox who tricked me with his grandson’s thirst traps. But Carter? That old man made me scream on my kitchen counter and served me pancakes after. I should’ve blocked him. Instead, I let him eat me out during Dr. Phil and now we’re in couples therapy working through the catfish... and the kink.

Carter (78, retired firefighter, shameless):

I used Jeremy’s photo to feel wanted again. Then Hereticene matched with me and called me a dirty old man before riding my face like it owed her money. I never meant to fall. But the way she moans my name? The way she bites when she comes? I’d burn down every lie I told just to keep her in my bed.

It started with a lie.

It got real when the grandson walked in.

Now it’s couples therapy, creaky knees, and climax after climax.