All-Inclusive (Relaxation Not Included) — How to Survive Your Vacation

Perfect vacations exist only in catalogs. Yours will be better: they will be real.

All-Inclusive (Relaxation Not Included) is the book the brochures will never let you read: 165 pages on what really happens between the moment you click "book now" and the moment, months later, when you laugh about the disaster over dinner.

Inside the book:

- 10 chapters covering the full arc of the holiday: planning as the art of war (the destination roulette, the budget iceberg, suitcase Tetris, plans from B to Ω), the odyssey of airports and low-cost flights, accommodations that never look like the photos, mandatory fun from the beach to the theme park, gastrointestinal adventures, the minefield of social interactions (family, friends, locals and other tourists), Murphy's mishaps (wrong hotels, volcanoes, selective locusts), technology as frenemy (the Wi-Fi treasure hunt, the GPS that sends you into the ravine, the honest post that goes viral), the return nobody talks about, and the survivor's lessons.

- 10 CLAUSES — the fine print of the vacation contract, one at the end of every chapter. ("No accommodation ever looks like the photos. Arrive prepared for the worst: every surprise will be an upgrade.")

- 10 original infographics — the budget iceberg, the listing decoder («cozy» = the bed touches three walls), the family dinner table mapped like a minefield, Murphy's bulletin, the hotel Wi-Fi map, the memory curve (disasters appreciate over time; perfect photos don't).

- An Expectations vs. Reality epilogue — the seven great vacation myths, rated with brutal honesty.

The tone: dry humor and self-irony, from the first suitcase to the last laundry load. Every chapter ends the way every real vacation does: with a story worth telling.

Format: PDF, A5, perfect to read under the beach umbrella, on the plane, or during your flight delay.

Read it before you book. Hope is not a plan — after this book you'll have both. Plus the flip-flops.

A work of humor, intended purely as entertainment. Any resemblance to vacations actually ruined is tragically plausible.