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1-4 FAQ

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Table of Contents
Notes to Assistants.....................................................................................................................................4
Pricing Considerations...............................................................................................................................4
The most important thing ever...................................................................................................................4
FAQ............................................................................................................................................................5
Q: I GOT A SCARY PHONECALL or MESSAGE ON MY SCREEN SAYING I HAVE VIRUSES
AND I SHOULD CALL (MS/AMZ/APPLE) THIS NUMBER RIGHT NOW!..................................5
Q: A COMPUTER GENIUS TOLD ME TO CLEAR MY CACHE AND COOKIES AND HIS-
TORY!...................................................................................................................................................5
Q: THE NEWS SAID I SHOULD BE SCARED OF SOME NEW SECURITY FLAW AND SAID I
MUST UPDATE IMMEDIATELY!......................................................................................................5
Q: HELP My computer died!................................................................................................................6
Related Q: MY COMPUTER WONT TURN ON ANYMORE. DID I LOSE ALL MY STUFF?......6
Q: HEY THIS NEW GIZMO CAME OUT! MY KIDS SAID I NEED IT!.........................................6
Q: HEY I JUST BOUGHT AN HP! COME SET IT UP!.....................................................................7
Q: WHAT SHOULD I BUY? (PC, Router, Etc.)..................................................................................7
Q: I HAVE A QUESTION I WANT FREE SURGERY OVER THE PHONE FOREVER!................7
Q: HELP I NEED INK! THE OFFICE SUPPLY STORE WANTS $9000 PER CARTRIDGE! HP
SAID FOR ONLY $50 PER DAY THEY'D MAIL ME INK!..............................................................7
Q: HELP! I'M GETTING SECURITY CERTIFICATE ERRORS! DOES THIS MEAN EVIL PEO-
PLE STOLE MY SECURITY?.............................................................................................................7
Q: I CAN'T GET INTO MY INTERNET OR EMAIL! IT SAYS WARNING UNTRUSTED SITE,
CONFIRM SECURITY EXCEPTION?...............................................................................................8
RELATED Q: IF SAFARI SAYS IT CAN'T OPEN A PAGE BECAUSE IT CAN'T ESTABLISH
A SECURE CONNECTION. SHOULD I UPDATE?......................................................................8
Q: I AM GETTING AN ERROR MESSAGE FROM THUNDERBIRD AND CAN'T SEND
EMAIL. (IT ASKS TO CONFIRM SECURITY EXCEPTION.) WHAT SHOULD I DO?................8
Q: WHAT EMAIL PROVIDER SHOULD I BE USING?...................................................................8
RELATED Q: BUT WAIT, ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE THAT ADDRESS!...................................8
Q: HOW DO I OPEN ZIP FILES? MY COMPUTER GUY TOLD ME TO GOOGLE FOR A ZIP
OPENER AND I GOT TOOLBARS.....................................................................................................9
Q: SHOULD I BUY A NEW COMPUTER? MY COMPUTER GUY SAID MINE IS OLD AND I
NEED TO PAY FOR VIRUS PROTECTION......................................................................................9
Q: WHAT IS MINT?.............................................................................................................................9
Q: HOW MUCH DOES MINT COST?................................................................................................9
Q: MY COMPUTER WANTS ME TO RUN STARTUP REPAIR. DOES THAT HELP?..................9
Q: DO YOU REPAIR TABLETS AND SMARTPHONES?................................................................9
Q: HELP! MY COMPUTER HAS A MAGICAL WARNING THAT'S FLASHING AND SAYS TO
CALL MICROSOFT! THERE IS A LIST OF SCARY WORDS AND I CALLED THEM ANDTHEY TOLD ME MORE SCARY WORDS AND THEY WANT REMOTE ACCESS AND THEY
WANT HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS!! SHOULD I GIVE IT TO THEM?.......................................10
Q: HELP! MY LAPTOP BATTERY IS DEAD. WHAT CAN I DO?................................................10
Q: MY COMPUTER DOESN'T RESPOND! I TRIED PRESSING THE POWER BUTTON, BUT
THAT DIDN'T WORK, SO I TRIED UNPLUGGING IT AND EVEN SMASHING IT!................10
Q: CAN I DROP OFF MY PC?..........................................................................................................10
Q: A MESSAGE ON MY MAZZOLA FOX FIRE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS CRITICALLY OUT
OF DATE AND I NEED TO UPDATE FIREFOX OTHERWISE THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE!
HOW DO I DO IT?.............................................................................................................................11
Q: WHAT'S SERVER NOT FOUND? I CAN'T CONNECT TO SERVER! DID I RUN OUT OF IN-
TERNETS? DID THE INTERNET GO OUT OF BUSINESS? WHERE DO I BUY A SERVER?
BEST BUY SAID THEY CAN SELL ME A SERVER FOR $10,000!..............................................11
Q: I'M A NEW CLIENT!....................................................................................................................11
Q: WHAT IS "ABODE"???.................................................................................................................12
Q: HELP I CAN'T COPY!..................................................................................................................12
Q: I CAN'T PRINT FROM MY EMAIL!...........................................................................................12
Q: I CAN'T PRINT WIRELESSLY ANYMORE!..............................................................................12
Q: MY FATHER'S BROTHER'S NEPHEW'S COUSIN'S FORMER ROOMMATE IS A “COM-
PUTER GENIUS” AND THEY TOLD ME TO DO SCANS.............................................................13
Q: I SPILLED LIQUID ON MY COMPUTER AND/OR IT'S PHYSICALLY DAMAGED AND
DOESN'T POWER ON.......................................................................................................................13
Q: WHAT KIND OF PRINTER/COMPUTER/LAPTOP/ETC. SHOULD I BUY?..........................13
Q: DO YOU SELL COMPUTERS?....................................................................................................13
Q: WHAT KIND OF PRINTER DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR PRINTING PHOTOS?................14
Q: WHAT KIND OF TV SHOULD I BUY?.......................................................................................14
Q: HOW MUCH DOES STREAMPLICITY COST?.........................................................................14
Q: WHAT KIND OF MAC SHOULD I BUY?...................................................................................14
Q: WHAT DO YOU NEED FOR A MAC MINI?..............................................................................14
Q: WHAT KIND OF SMARTPHONE SHOULD I BUY?.................................................................14
Q: DO YOU FIX MACS?...................................................................................................................15
Q: HELP! I SPILLED LIQUID ON MY APPLE LAPTOP!..............................................................15
Q: SHOULD I HAVE A BACKUP DRIVE?......................................................................................15
Q: I'M A BEGINNER/SENIOR CITIZEN/HAVE CHRONIC VIRUSES!........................................15
Q: MY WIRELESS DOESN'T WORK WELL!.................................................................................15
Q: MY INTERNET PROVIDER SAID I NEED TO USE THEIR ROUTER!..................................15
Q: CAN I DO MY WEB BANKING ON PUBLIC/CAFE WIFI? SHOULD I BUY MY OWN
HOTSPOT?.........................................................................................................................................16
RELATED Q: Verizon/Norton/McAfee said I need a VPN! I'm scared so I'm going to give them
money!............................................................................................................................................16
Q: WHY DO I SEE IMAGES (PHOTOS) OR DOCUMENTS ON MY COMPUTER, THAT I
DIDN'T PUT THERE?........................................................................................................................16
Q: I WANT MY "MICROSOFT"! (They actually mean they want MS Word.).................................16
Q.2: BUT WAIT IS IT COMPATIBLE WITH MY DOCUMENTS?............................................17
Q: THE TECHNICIAN JUST LEFT YESTERDAY AND I HAVE ALL THESE TINY ISSUES!
THEREFORE HE BROKE MY COMPUTER! I WANT IMMEDIATE SERVICE FREE FOR-
EVER!.................................................................................................................................................17
Q: I NEED AN APPOINTMENT!......................................................................................................17
Q: MY COMPUTER IS SLOW..........................................................................................................17
Q: DO YOU DO WEBSITES?............................................................................................................17Q: “CAN YOU ERASE THE STUFF FROM MY COMPUTER? I'M HAVING A GARAGE
SALE.”................................................................................................................................................18
Q: WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL MY DEAD COMPUTERS AND ELECTRONICS?.....................18
Q: CUSTOMER CALLS/EMAILS WITH A QUESTION FOR A TECHNICIAN / ALL OTHER
QUESTIONS.......................................................................................................................................18
Q: WE NEED A COPIER FOR OUR OFFICE!.................................................................................18
Q: Why are you so expensive? Best Buy said they can clean my computer for FREE! (with a $300/
year fee)...............................................................................................................................................18
Q: HERE'S MY PASSWORD!............................................................................................................19
Q: WHAT'S MY PASSWORD FOR (you name it)?...........................................................................19
Q:I CLICKED ON YOUR REMOTE ACCESS ICON AND NOTHING HAPPENED....................19
Q: I HAVE AN EMERGENCY! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!................................................19
Q: WHERE'S THE TECHNICIAN!! HE SAID HE'S GOING TO BE HERE TODAY!!! IT'S FIVE
SECONDS PAST WHEN HE SAID HE'D BE HERE!......................................................................19
Q: HELP! MY FRONTIER INTERNET CONNECTION DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE!............20
Q: HELP I LOST MY PASSWORD SO I JUST MADE A NEW GMAIL ACCOUNT.....................20
Q: WHAT IS THIS SPAM FOLDER THING? WHY AM I GETTING ALL THIS SPAM?.............20
DO I HAVE SPAM BECAUSE I WAS HACKED?!??!.....................................................................20
Q: I CAN'T GET INTO MY AOL/RECIPES/WHATEVER..............................................................20
Q: IT SAYS FIREFOX IS STILL RUNNING AND I HAVE TO CLOSE IT....................................21
Q: WHY CAN'T I DELETE DOCUMENTS FROM WORD OR LIBREOFFICE?..........................21
Q: ALL MY PDF/WORD/ETC. DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN MOVED FROM X PROGRAM TO
Y PROGRAM!....................................................................................................................................21
Q: HOW DO I PRINT PDFS?.............................................................................................................21
Q: SOMEONE SENT ME A ZIP FILE! DO I NEED A PROGRAM TO OPEN IT?........................21
Q: NEVERMIND I'M NOT GONNA HAVE YOU GUYS FIX MY COMPUTER. I'M GONNA GO
BUY A NEW ONE!.............................................................................................................................21
Q: I DON'T DO MUCH WITH COMPUTERS; I'M NOT AN EXPERT. I JUST WANT TO GET
ON AND DO MY INTERNETS.........................................................................................................22
Q: HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO DO VIRUS SCANS AND UPDATES?......................................22
Q: I HAVE ERROR NUMBER 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 FUNCTION CALL NOT VALID, ETC ETC.............22
Q: HELP MY KEYBOARD AND MOUSE DIED!...........................................................................22
Q: EVER SINCE YOU LEFT, NOTHING WORKS RIGHT or YOU BROKE MY COMPUTER
AND I WANT IT THE WAY IT WAS!...............................................................................................22
Related Q: HELP I LOST ALL MY FILES YOU BROKE MY COMPUTER!.................................23
Q: HELP! I GOT A SCARY EMAIL SAYING THEY KNOW MY PASSWORD... AND THEY
DID! Did they break into my computer??...........................................................................................23
Q: How do I scan a document?...........................................................................................................23
Q: Are you going to ruin my computer???..........................................................................................23
Q: MY BANK WEBSITE SAYS MAZZOLA FOX FIRE IS OUT OF DATE! WHAT DO I DO!...23
Q: IT SAYS I NEED AN UPDATE!!!.................................................................................................24
Similar Q: I WAS TOLD BY A COMPUTER GENIUS/TV AD THAT I SHOULD BE USING VPN!
IT'S ONLY $1,000,000 PER MONTH! Can you install it?................................................................24
Q: MY IPHONE/MAC/WHATEVER SAYS MY WIFI ISN'T SECURE!.........................................24
Q: HELP! MY WIFI SAYS 5G! IS IT GOING TO COOK ME?.......................................................25
Q: Wireless printing doesn't work.......................................................................................................25
Q: I CANT SEE ANY OF MY EMAILS/Facebook/etc......................................................................25
Q: MY GOOGLES SAYS THIS SITE IS INSECURE AND I SHOULD TURN ON ENHANCED
PROTECTION!...................................................................................................................................25Q: WHAT IS THIS REMOVED ITEMS ICON ON MY DESKTOP?...............................................25
Q: I CAN'T GET ON A WEBSITE AND I WAS TOLD TO INSTALL CHROME!..............................26
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