Sister Fucking Bimbo Juice!
My dry spell was starting to reach epic proportions! I had to do something - and quick!
My farmer friend dabbled a little on the side with weird concoctions. Most of which never worked.
Seeing as how I was desperate for some action, I took him up on his offer. As I was contemplating who to use it on, my sister waltzed in, thought it was a milkshake and guzzled it down.
I couldn’t believe my luck!
It had been way too long since I'd had any action, it was a dry spell for sure.
Despite working out, working hard, and keeping an eye out, I hadn't had any luck and just didn't click with any of the ladies in the area.
I went to bars, the park, any place I could think of and I hadn't met a single person that not only was cute, but was fun loving and chill to be around.
So when my buddy Mark told me he had the solution to my problem, I couldn't help but find myself curious.
He was an organic farmer, on top of that, he also liked to experiment with plants and was a bit of a chemist on the side.
He was off in California, but had sent me a care package the other day, saying it would break the dry spell.
I opened up the package he had sent and took out a small glass container encased in bubble wrap.
Ripping it free from the packaging, I saw this kale-like juice mix sitting in there.
"How is a smoothie gonna help me get laid?" I asked myself as I read the letter that was inside.
Skimming it quick, Mark instructed me to let a lady of my choice partake of the drink, and that in a few moments their true nature would be revealed, that they would "become" the woman they were meant to be.
I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I was willing to try anything.
Still I had to test this out, I couldn't just give it to some stranger, I needed time to think.
I headed to the bathroom. I had a big jar of the stuff, but I had to make sure to use it at the right time, but also not waste it.
Coming back out, I was refreshed and started to make some calculations. With Mark's help, I'd break my dry spell. He'd never let me down before, he was the ultimate wing man.
However, my calculations didn't factor in my sister getting home from her afternoon job and refreshing herself with Mark's homemade beverage.
I watched, surprised and shocked, that she had just helped herself to my shit and did it with gusto. She pounded a good quarter of it in one go.
"Hey bro, nice shake." She said and wiped her lips, setting the jar down and putting the lid back on.