Three Men in a Boat
THREE INVALIDS. - SUFFERINGS OF GEORGE AND HARRIS. -
A VICTIM TO ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN FATAL MALADIES. -
USEFUL PRESCRIPTIONS. - CURE FOR LIVER COMPLAINT IN
CHILDREN. - WE AGREE THAT WE ARE OVERWORKED, AND
NEED REST. - A WEEK ON THE ROLLING DEEP? - GEORGE
SUGGESTS THE RIVER. - MONTMORENCY LODGES AN
OBJECTION. - ORIGINAL MOTION CARRIED BY MAJORITY OF
THREE TO ONE.
THERE were four of us - George, and William Samuel
Harris, and myself, and Montmorency. We were sitting in my
room, smoking, and talking about how bad we were - bad
from a medical point of view I mean, of course.
We were all feeling seedy, and we were getting quite
nervous about it. Harris said he felt such extraordinary fits of
giddiness come over him at times, that he hardly knew what
he was doing; and then George said that HE had fits of
giddiness too, and hardly knew what HE was doing. With me,
it was my liver that was out of order. I knew it was my liver
that was out of order, because I had just been reading a
patent liver-pill circular, in which were detailed the various
symptoms by which a man could tell when his liver was out
of order. I had them all.
It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent
medicine advertisement without being impelled to the
conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease
therein dealt with in its most virulent form. The diagnosis
seems in every case to correspond exactly with all the
sensations that I have ever felt.