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Were you bullied, shamed, blamed, or rejected by a parent, sibling, or other relative growing up or as an adult? Have you been the target of a 'smear' campaign by immediate or extended family and been left feeling frustrated and confused? Have you tried to reach out for help and support and been told, "You need to get over your childhood"; "Quit acting like a victim"; or "But it's your family, it can't be that bad"? Rebecca C. Mandeville
is an internationally recognized Family Systems expert, Psychotherapist, and Educator who coined the term 'Family Scapegoating Abuse' (FSA) as part of her pioneering research on family scapegoating dynamics and dysfunctional family systems. In 'Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed', she explores the roots of family scapegoating and how the scapegoated adult survivor can free themselves from 'false family narratives' and become the author of their own lives.
In this informative introductory guide, the author clearly identifies scapegoating as psycho-emotional abuse while providing a means of understanding why dysfunctional families 'reject, shame, and blame' one of their own. Via psycho-education, self-assessment tools, and practical steps and strategies, the author describes the abusive aspects of family scapegoating and it's relationship with complex trauma (C-PTSD) and betrayal trauma, as well as ways to dis-identify and recover from the 'family scapegoat' narrative. In these pages you'll discover:
- How to recognize and identify family scapegoating abuse (FSA) signs and symptoms
- Why scapegoated individuals have difficulty finding help
- How complex trauma (C-PTSD), and 'toxic shame' impede FSA recovery
- Why the family 'Empath' can end up scapegoated
- How to establish boundaries if your trauma response is 'fawning'
- How to recover and realign with your 'true self'
This life is the only one you'll have, and your story is precious and unique. If you're struggling to understand family scapegoat dynamics and want to recover and reclaim your 'true self' identity, this book's for you.*FSA Self-Assessment is included but should not be used for diagnostic purposes. **Clinicians and Coaches may also find this introductory book helpful. Please read the 'Afterword' for more information and resources.Editorial Reviews"This much-needed work by Rebecca C. Mandeville provides a comprehensive introduction to the subject of Family Scapegoating and serves as a starting point for survivor awareness and further research for professionals if they want to begin filling in the gaps for this misunderstood and underserved community. The author also offers steps to healing with a great measure of compassion."
- Lisa Marie Campagnoli, CRTC, RYT-200, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach "A much needed adjunct to the Family Systems model. Recommended for professional and laypeople."
-Shellie Krick, MSWTABLE OF CONTENTS:
1. The Invisible Wounds of the Scapegoat Child 11
2. Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) Self-Test 23
3. 16 Experiences Common to FSA Survivors 37
4. FSA Survivors and Disenfranchised Grief 43
5. FSA and Complex Trauma (C-PTSD) 51
6. Lily: A Case Study 61
7. Scapegoating as Family Betrayal 66
8. Multigenerational Trauma and the Family
9. The Trauma Response of ‘Fawning’ 81
10. Releasing the ‘Family Scapegoat’ Story 93
11. The Development of the False Self 101
12. Recovering the True Self Lost in Childhood 109
13. How ‘Toxic Shame’ Interferes with Recovery 122
14. Unique Challenges of FSA Recovery 129
About the Author 147
Family Scapegoating Abuse Survey 149
Permissions Statement 150
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