It's often heard about frontal lobes in the brain developing when women hit 25. I can confirm, it does change something. But the change in my 20s has occurred more than once, for sure. At the start of this decade, I was still at drama school, and then graduated to work at a local high school as a kitchen assistant. A glorified dinner lady, if you will. Then, my first big girl job. It was abroad in Italy, touring schools and performing short plays whilst teaching English. Looking back, I had so much confidence at 21, being able to prepare for a big trip and driving long-distance in a foreign country. I'd only ever driven on the highway in the UK once before! There was a definite change during that trip, and it sparked a travel bug that I've persued since.
Sadly, my first big girl job was cut short, and the COVID break began. I think we can all agree, big changes happened during that time, not just personally but all over the world. During those few years is when I learnt crochet, and created doodies crochet. This change in my early to mid 20s found myself being creative once again and finding a new passion. I'd lost some confidence since isolation, but having an outlet and sharing my work felt rewarding, and as if I'd found something I'm good at once again. I stayed self-employed for a few more years, this time as a crochet business, although money was not good. I'd compare myself to my friends and younger family members a lot, since they were in full-time work and buying cars or renting property. Honey, I was still living in the same home I'd moved into at 4 years old, and was barely earning enough to buy new clothes.
During the COVID break, and some time after, I was in my thrifty, frugal, good-to-the-earth type living. Of course, I respect that version of myself, because she was so kind and thoughtful (I like to think I still am btw). But sometimes I'm sad, because she was working through some stuff, and didn't have the freedom to allow herself all the things she wanted. Since being in the creative industry, my look also reflected that. It was always dopamine dressing, contrasting prints, and when I look back there was probably a hint of clinging to my youth.
Now, since officially entering my late 20s, my look is completely different. In drama school, the everyday uniform was black clothing, so after graduating that's probably why I wore as much colour as possible. But now, black is the most common colour in my clothing collection. My colour palette in general is much more condensed, darker, and the clothing I gravitate to is simpler. The minimalisation of my life has begun, and this year I've made it my goal to be strict with my space. I don't want to feel cluttered and busy, because I'm someone who has a clean space, clean mindset approach to life. Call it maturing, but having belongings that I'm also going to use in 10 years time, attracts me more than a micro-trend. The early 20s version of myself would be bewildered if she saw me now, but my change is not just on the exterior.
Don't get me wrong, I've been healing on the inside for a long time, and there's a high probability I'll be continuing that into my 30s and onwards. If my 20s has taught me anything, it's that timing can change everything, and be prepared to start again. To be truly honest, I'm over my 20s. I've sworn to myself that the rest of this decade will be peaceful. The place where I am now is better, but not my best. There's elements of my life that I'm finding my feet in, that being my personal style for sure. You'll see over the next few weeks crochet patterns disappearing and YouTube videos being privated because of this. I made a small announcement not too long ago, and I apologised for the loss, but truthfully that content doesn't fit me now. I'm not ashamed to make mistakes, I've collected my best memories and lessons from them. And this newest change reflects a lot of the work I've done from the previous year that I haven't shown.
For myself, I want my crochet patterns to reflect my own passions. I can't say I'd wear a crochet vest right now, so I'm not going to produce new designs for one. It would be a waste of my time and energy, and that's something I also want to protect from now on. By finding a new niche, I'm finding my spark to create again, and that's most important for me too. So, don't be afraid of change, because it can bring new joy and move you forward. I know some find comfort in stillness, and as an introvert I totally understand. But, as someone who's experienced change by choice and by forced circumstances, I believe it's all for a reason.
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