After a lifetime of people-pleasing, I’m naming the overlooked abuses: emotional ghosting, boundary violations, and energy vampirism. Learn how to use spiritual tools like protection oils and cleansing baths to build your fortress and finally choose yourself.
For over 50 years, I thought being a "good person," a "loyal friend," and a "giving soul" meant keeping my mouth shut and my heart open, no matter the cost. I endured the slow-drip poison of disrespect, the silent treatment when I expressed a need, and the heavy weight of other people's dramas dumped at my feet.
I helped, I listened, I gave. And when I needed support? I was met with turned backs. Then, astonishingly, those same people would circle back, expecting a warm welcome as if their betrayal never happened.
My final answer: Hell no.
It took me five decades to realize this wasn't just "bad luck" with people. This was a pattern of spiritual and energetic abuse that was feeding my unhealed trauma, constantly making me feel like I was the problem. If you see yourself in this story, know this: You are not the problem. You are a target because of your light.
Naming the Unnamed Abuses
Abuse isn't only physical. In our communities and relationships, these subtle violences are often overlooked:
· Emotional Ghosting: The withdrawal of affection and communication as punishment for having boundaries.
· Energetic Drain: Being treated as a free, 24/7 therapist without reciprocity, leaving you overwhelmed and depleted.
· Boundary Betrayal: When your clearly stated "no" is ignored, debated, or met with guilt-tripping.
· The Cycle of Abandonment and Return: People who leave you in your time of need, only to reappear expecting instant forgiveness and access to your energy again.
This is spiritual warfare. It’s an attack on your peace, your energy, and your very spirit.
The Hoodoo Path to Reclaiming Your Power
As a Hoodoo Practitioner, my practice is not separate from this healing journey; it is the foundation of it. Hoodoo provides the tools to not only heal from these attacks but to build an impenetrable fortress around your spirit. Here’s how this ties directly into the work I do and the products I create:
1. The Spiritual Cleansing: "I Wash My Hands of You"
The first step is to cleanse the sticky, heavy energy these interactions leave on you. This is where bath salts and spiritual washes come in.
· The Practice: A ritual bath isn't just about getting clean. It's a sacred act of washing away their influence, their negativity, and the emotional residue. As you soak, you pray to release all that is not yours to carry.
· This is the "Uncrossing" work— breaking the ties that bind you to these toxic cycles.
2. The Protection Work: "No Trespassing" for Your Spirit
Once cleansed, you must protect your newfound peace. This is the purpose of protection oils and candles.
· The Practice: Anointing your doorstep, your windows, and yourself with a protection oil daily creates a spiritual barrier. Lighting a Fiery Wall of Protection candle is like setting up a sacred force field. It sends a clear message to the spirit world: My energy is not a free-for-all.
· This is how you enforce your boundaries on a spiritual level, so that violators simply cannot get close enough to drain you again.
3. The Cutting of Ties: "And Stay Back!"
For those who keep trying to return, you need a definitive, spiritual "NO." This is what Cut and Clear rituals and Banishing products are for.
· The Practice: This isn't about cursing; it's about severing the energetic cord that keeps you tied to them. It’s a ritual act of declaring, "I cut you away from my energy field. Your drama cannot find me. Your calls go unanswered. Your presence is no longer welcome in my life."
· This is the ultimate act of choosing yourself, giving you the spiritual strength to maintain your boundaries in the physical world.
Your Journey to Sovereignty Starts Now
Choosing yourself after a lifetime of choosing others is the bravest spell you will ever cast. It requires the courage to name the abuse, the strength to cleanse its marks, and the wisdom to protect your spirit moving forward.
Your journey is a testament that it is never too late to say, "Enough." Your spiritual practice—and the tools like the candles, oils, and salts we create—are not mere products. They are weapons of peace, tools of liberation, and the physical anchors for your declaration of sovereignty.
You are not alone in this fight. Your altar is your war room, and your self-love is the most powerful root you can work.
With solidarity and strength,
Queen Tiyi El
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