A vivid dream of a shrunk lover and an awkward embrace forces a spiritual reckoning. For the woman who has "cranked her height up" for life, the path back to power means returning to her authentic self. A raw story of love, illusion, and melanated magic.
I had a dream that left me waking up breathless, frustrated, and with a truth I couldn’t ignore.
In the dream, I was on the phone with a lover who lives far away. I was fussing, telling him the distance wasn’t good for us. Suddenly, I looked up from my car in my own city, and there he was, pulling up right beside me. He had been here the whole time.
My heart leaped and sank at once. He got out, and I did too, telling my daughter in the backseat I needed a moment. We walked toward each other on an unstable gravel lot, having to watch our step. But when we embraced, the passion was there—a deep, familiar love I could feel in my bones.
Yet, something was off. He felt shorter than me. Much shorter. In fact, he seemed to have shrunk, his clothes hanging off him like a child’s. I was suddenly tall, awkward, and unsure of where to put my hands as he held me with a knowing confidence. I was painfully conscious of my height, of how we must look, and pulled away, mentioning my daughter was nearby. He immediately stepped back with respect, apologizing. "My bad."
As I drove away, I realized my daughter hadn't been paying us any attention at all. My frustration wasn't with him, but with my own unnatural stature. And then I remembered: I had manually "cranked up" my height for a previous event and had forgotten to change it back.
The problem was never him. It was me.
The Lessons Woven in the Gravel
This dream was a stark mirror from my subconscious, and its message is for anyone who has ever tried to show up as a version of themselves they think is required, rather than who they truly are.
1. The Illusion of the "Elevated" Self. We often"crank our height up" for life's big events—a new relationship, a career opportunity, a spiritual practice. We think we need to be taller, bigger, and more imposing to be powerful. We put on the persona of the "Boss," the "Goddess," or the "Unshakeable Leader." But this inflated self is clumsy. It makes our connections feel awkward and ill-fitting. True power isn't about being taller than others; it's about being fully grounded in your own natural stature.
2. The Ground Beneath Your Feet is Everything. We met on gravel, not pavement. This is a powerful symbol. When we are walking an unconventional path—one of our own choosing—the ground will often feel unstable. There is no smooth, paved sidewalk for the journey of authentic living. You must be present and careful with every step, fully embodied, or you will slip. The dream reminded me that my focus must be on my footing, not on how tall I appear.
3. Your Witnesses Are Often Less Concerned Than You Think. I was so worried about how our embrace looked to my daughter in the car. But she was engrossed in her own world, granting us the privacy I had asked for. How often do we hold back our truth, our love, our passion, because we fear the judgment of an audience that isn't even watching? The embarrassment we feel is usually a private conversation between us and our own insecurities.
4. The Problem is Rarely "Them"—It's Our Own Self-Image. I woke up frustrated with my lover, but the dream's final revelation was the truth: "The problem wasn't him, it was me." We project our internal discomfort onto our partners, our jobs, our circumstances. We blame the other person for feeling "small" or our clothes for not fitting, when the real issue is that we are not inhabiting our own skin authentically.
The Awakening: The path to powerful, passionate, and respectful connection—with lovers, with the world, with yourself—begins when you dare to "re-adjust your height." It requires the courage to return to your natural state, to stand in your own truth, even if it feels smaller and more vulnerable.
That is where the real magic happens. That is where you can finally be held, and hold others, without awkwardness. That is where you find your true power.
What version of yourself have you "cranked up" that you need to release?
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