We Are The Ants | Novel

Thoughts from the very first pages.

This book comes out the gate swinging with philosophical ideas to make you feel existential.

"Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."

and the first page of monologue from the mc.

I LOOOVE ME SOME PHILOSOPHY!!😌🙌

"–Other times I think gravity is love. Which is why love only demands that we fall."

...🤯

Thoughts from 4% - 23%

The aliens are using psychological conditioning techniques! The aliens can't speak so they're communicating through a mostly universal language everything shares, which is pain & pleasure.

I'm mad at myself for taking a break from this book! It deserves my full attention!

What if the aliens chose someone else to make this decision? A 16 year old boy who lives in Florida has a massively different perspective and train of thought than religious people, celebrities, billionaires, philosophers, homeless, politicians, etc.. Would those people come to the same conclusion to save earth? Would choosing a certain type of individual ensure a certain result?... Did the aliens consider this & that's why they chose an ordinary teenager, instead of an adult filled with biases?.. If this is truly not an experiment, then why not choose an individual most suited to think logically, or someone who's in charge?.. There's a ton of rising questions I have.

NEIL DEGRASS TYSON MENTION

"No one would blame me if I smothered both of you in your sleep."

Hey So.. That is an insane thing to tell your children!.. I dont believe she was joking.

I wear mismatched socks a lot,, but mismatched SHOES?! Is this woman out of her damn mind??!! The sensory differences would drive me up the wall! How does one wear different shoes?! genuinely🥴

Marcus is bullying Henry a little too passionately. and the aliens sucking off Henry comment..?🤨

Yep, I clocked that. No bully is just that dedicated for no reason. Bullying the person you're into to remain in the closet is just toxic/abusive, & messy,,, and if while you're in private they continue to not respect your feelings to not carry the bullying into private moments, that is a fundamental issue! They don't care about you at all. Henry deserves better than this!

"what is the value of an entire world."

The grandma displaying racism. Fork found in kitchen.

"The sluggers didn't give me a choice, they gave me freedom."

They didn't though.. They just gave Henry a deadline closer to "now" than what his already existing deadline would've been. The "freedom" Henry feels is strictly due to him changing his perspective. Humans always have a deadline—there is freedom in that alone if you believe it to be so. "You only live once" & "We're all gonna die one day anyways" are sayings that come from that sense of freedom & perspective of life. Why not try for all the things you want to do while you still can if one day it'll all cease to exist & be forgotten anyways.. Being forgotten can be a double edged sword, it can be extremely comforting for some & also make you feel extraordinarily obsolete.

Henry's existentialism & nihilism is relatable to a degree. The meaning of life is constantly debated & argued. Dreading on it for too long though isn't healthy.

Henry is an interesting character. The death of Jesse, aliens giving Henry THE choice, his life at home/school, his situationship with Markus.. He pushed his friend away, & remains in toxic situations all likely due to him believing he deserves punishment. His outlook on life is very pessimistic.

"If I don't press it, I'm definitely dead. At least if I press it, I've got a chance at a long life. I like having choices."

I like Diego! I like the way he thinks.

These hypothetical endings to the world chapters give me a chuckle & give me dread because it's not out of the realm of realism anymore.. Politics has become a genuine circus show. This book saying 2016 is the end of the world really isn't that much of an exaggeration given that's when politics shifted for the worst..

"He spanked me so hard with a wooden spoon, the handle broke."

Where's your piece of shit dad now? I have words of.. "encouragement" I'd like to fill his head with🤬

"Its more than sex to me you know."

No actually, I don't think Henry knows,, Nor has Marcus made that clear enough to make a statement like that! Marcus pisses me off! If he actually gave a shit about Henry past sex, he wouldn't continue his bullying antics while they're in private—bare minimum. And if he cared enough he'd stop the bullying all together because it hurts Henry! I hate Marcus!

Freedom means freedom—Free will means Free Will. It doesn't mean good things are destined to happen, it means ANYTHING can happen because there's other people/things with their own desires that may disrupt someone else. Henry was under the impression that freedom is absolved of things going poorly, that he's the only one with freedom of choice but that's not the case. This rant to me now that I've typed it down just looks like I said a bunch of nothing😅 hope it makes some sense to someone.

"If you can't paint yourself honestly, everything else you paint will be a lie too."

I shall reiterate. I like the way Diego thinks! He'll definitely be why Henry makes his decision in the end. Diego feels like the character to change Henry's perspective of life for the better.

"What if I dont give a shit about the world?" "I'd say that's pretty sad." "why?" "Because the world is beautiful."

🙌🙌 I absolutely adore this kid's optimism!

Thoughts from 24% - 48%

Charlie is pissing in— this man is going to be a FATHER soon and he's THIS IMMATURE... Help their baby get proper parents asap! OH MY GOD!

you're in.. urine.... Charlie's not even my brother and I want to strangle him!

Funny how Marcus only shows interest in Henry when Henry seems to be talking to someone else (Diego)💀 AND when Marcus gets rejected he lashes out at Henry ..Again. I DO NOT LIKE Marcus!!

Slapping your child for getting into a fist fight.... yeah that logic is completely sound & totally makes sense..

Describing someone you're close to that has died as a phantom limb is sooo accurate!.. very accurate!

I like Zooey, she's honestly too good for Charlie.

"Maybe that's what I deserve."

This poor kid🥺

"we're all going to die." "which is why it matters."

EXACTLY! TALK TO HIM DIEGO!🙌 That's my boy!

Henry's self esteem...😭 come on kiddo, You DO matter!

I. HATE. MARCUS!

"The future destroys the past destroys the future."

I understand what is being said but— wow that's a mind fuck!

Charlie trying to be fatherly/brotherly to Henry worked on me for a second then he lost me. What kind of advice was that?😑

"it was only a joke."

Marcus, I don't think you know what the fuck a joke actually is!— He's gotta know what he did was bad, otherwise he wouldn't be in the bathroom "checking if Henry was okay"— I fucking hate Marcus!

"For what it's worth I'm sorry."

BELOW BARE FUCKING MINIMUM FOR ALL THE SHIT MARCUS PUT HENRY THROUGH!! OHHH MY GOD!

What the hell is with these parents and beating their kids in this book?! I don't get it! CUT THAT SHIT OUT!

"I can't remember how it goes."

That hurt me. Fuck dementia! Nana can't remember how to play a song on the piano😭

Charlie won 2 points of respect from me just now; playing the piano with Nana.

"Memories aren't currency to spend, they're us."

THAT! THAT LINE RIGHT THERE! We ARE our memories, without them we are not us. People are their lived experiences.

Henry: Talks about math equations Me: visible confusion

I hate Marcus, but I hate Adrian far more.

Fuck you, Creed and Nickelback make good music!😂

Diego, even with the knowledge of the end of the world, still lives to the fullest with an optimist mind,, Where as Henry is constantly aware of their ends & nihilistic mind stops him from enjoying life fully..

Whyyyy are they arguing about who knew Jessie's issues more?? That is an irrelevant & useless "competition"—they both loved him & feel his absence. They're both upset with eachother for taking time for themselves away from eachother. Imo, they both get a pass—they can make it up to each other now, THAT matters more than arguing who was more justified to not be around for the other.

Jessie called Audrey but she didnt answer, and took his life after?— ...😓 The feeling of guilt would destroy you..

Henry planning to kill himself but Zooey bumped into him as he was leaving his room. THAT IS A SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE, HENRY!! Please don't try that again!

This book has gotten really heavy since going to the fair, chapter. The whimsy in me has gone, it's just dark now. All the reminiscing moments of Jessie either leave me numb, or crying like a baby..

I haven't seen Doctor Who either, Henry. It's okay :)

Was Diego the one that destroyed Marcus's car?🤔

Thoughts from 49% - 71%

"If I got to where I couldn't take care of myself or didn't recognize my own family.. what's the point?"

I unironically, and genuinely agree with Henry here. If I am not myself, and am just existing from one moment to the next with no recollection of self or others, just a hindrance & living to pass time to a "natural end", just check me out of life. If my mind is gone then I as a person, am gone. Being forcibly kept "alive" while not being of sound mind in any way, terrifies me immensely!

"Im surprised we haven't wiped ourselves out already."

FOR REAL!

Hear me out. Yes I do hate Marcus, but I'm also far too empathetic to wish permanent ill will on him. He is just a kid & he does seem like he just needs someone genuine to "inspire" him to stop being a piece of shit. With that being said, I DO NOT trust Marcus to treat Henry well enough to accept a smidgen of his help,, he'd likely make Henry feel like shit again. Also Henry doesn't owe Marcus anything, he's not his responsibility,, especially after what Marcus put him through. So my solution to Marcus going off the deep end is therapy & finding better friends. Cut those jerks off! They likely don't even give a shit about each other anyways, just a popularity "club" and that's why Marcus puts up a facade to mask his vulnerability so often. Marcus NEEDS to show actual remorse, give an actual apology, & admit to hurting Henry in the shower for any of what I said to mean anything.

A really dark theory came to mind, but I don't think it's actually plausible due to this story being very much centered around the existence of aliens & existentialism.. BUT, What if Henry has never actually been abducted by aliens, he's just hallucinating, dreaming up potential world ending scenarios, & walking mindlessly around his neighborhood—maybe as an old man with dementia, or brain damage from an accident, remembering + altering his teenage years in retrospect... The date for the end of the world is just when the accident or diagnosis happened, & the button is deciding whether or not he should've killed, or should kill himself before then. Like this is ALL just in his head kind of thing.. The non speaking aliens surrounding Henry on a table, electrocuting him, showing him the stars, & Henry blacking out when entering and exiting, kinda sounds like an asylum... I highly doubt the book will actually be THAT—there's a few plotholes to that theory, but it's an interesting dark twist to ponder..

Diego's artwork is very body dysmorphia, trans coded... 🤔 maybe I'm overanalyzing & connecting dots that don't exist.

Marcus gave Henry a Christmas card... Idk where this kids headspace exists?! He's an enigma to me. Idk how to categorize him anymore.

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY MENTION! One of THE BEST songs ever created!

Charlie and Henry are ACTUALLY having a decent sibling conversation & "bonding" moment. Quick! someone take a picture!

Thoughts from 72% - 100%

Diego went to Juvie for beating up his dad for abusing them?... 👏 I commend Diego for that!

The way this book illustrates the cycle of violence...

"Im not waiting tables—I'm the sous chef."

I. AM. CRYING!😭 she's finally reaching for her dreams! I'm so happy for her! HENRY! YOU BETTER SAVE THE WORLD OR IM GOING TO BE PISSED!🤬

It is strange that Jesse didn't leave a note of any kind before he died. He likely did & it's in a way that only Audrey & Henry would know.. I still have no clue how this book will end. IM SCARED.

Jessie's parents changing & clearing out his room instead of keeping his bedroom a moment frozen in time was the healthy thing to do. I'm not upset with them.

"You still want me to press the button, even after what I did?"

Kiddo!—Diego wanting you to self destruct the entire world just because you didn't trust him would be INSANITY!

Charlie's growth is commendable & has brought tears to my eyes. Henry & Charlie's relationship has gotten better too— 😭

Zooey lost the baby?.. FUCK MAN!😓

Marcus! Fucking kick Adrian's ass or something & redeem yourself before the book ends! Adrian constantly beating up Henry is getting ridiculous!!

I understand Henry is upset, and he is a kid still,, BUT with that being said, he's being far too judgmental of Jessie's mother trying to move on after HER SON killed himself... Henry throughout this book during moments like this anger me. He doesn't contemplate other people's feelings & perspectives enough before speaking. The writing for these characters is true to how kids are, but holy shit is it frustrating!😅

How is this book going to end,, I'm getting more & more nervous!

I feel awful for Charlie. My hearts broken for him.

_I stood in the doorway, listening to my brother snore. "For the record, I think you would have been a good dad."

That. BROKE. ME.😭

If the body remains horizontal, the air resistance gives the illusion of floating. That's how I've felt since meeting Diego. Like I was floating. But I've been falling the entire time.

WHAT A LINE! This book and it's choice of words are beautiful!

Eurydice and Orpheus mention!!

Just when I think Marcus has gotten better for a moment in time— he pulls some shit LIKE THIS!!🤬😤 This kid NEEDS therapy & to visit juvie, BAD! I'm so serious. He's attempting rape NOW?!... REALLY?!.... fuckijng really??!!

I keep falling in the fucking trap. Not every damaged, asshole character can be redeemed. Sometimes they only get worse..

DIEGO! DO NOT GO BEAT UP MARCUS! YOU'RE LITERALLY ON PROBATION AND POLICE ARE ON THE WAY!😑😤

Whelp... so much for wishing for him not to.. Marcus deserved it but now Diego is back in Juvie💀 DUDE!— I— not going to lie, this book can't end quick enough. I've had enough🥴 I feel like I've been tossed around in a rolling & flipping car.

Diego made his choice to go beat up Marcus, Henry! Stop blaming yourself for other people's actions.

_"I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either."

HOLY Relatable.

"Im seeing a therapist about my anger issues. Apparently, it's not okay to beat the shit out of anyone who hurts someone you love. Go figure."

UH HUH. No shit Sherlock Holmes!😅

"whether they were real at all."

???!! WAIT !! So was I half right with my random theory?! The aliens were all just in his head?.... This book IS Henry's extra credit project?..

"We may not get to choose how we die, but we can choose how we live.—because we are the ants, and we'll keep marching on."

Henry is spitting at the end!👏👏

WOOWWWWW THIS BOOK WAS A RIDE!😭🙌 I LOVE how unapologetically real everything & everyone was. Sometimes not everything has a deep reason for happening or existing. If there's one thing I really appreciate, it's that Jessie's suicide didn't have a deeper reasoning to it to unfold—Most of the shit these characters go through doesn't have layers upon layers of reasoning, it just exists/happens.. which makes this book feel that much more real & alive. This book is a must read.