Lately, I’ve been sitting with this question a lot.
Like… a lot.
Am I doing this wrong?
Not because something catastrophic is happening.
Not because my learners aren’t making progress.
But because I don’t see a lot of people doing things exactly the way I’m doing them.
And even the people I see in this newer, more neuro-affirming era?
They all have their own approach.
Which, logically, I know makes sense.
Different strokes for different folks, right?
But emotionally?
It still gets in my head.
This Unlearning + Relearning Phase Is No Joke
I’m in this space right now where I’m actively unlearning and relearning.
And that means I’m relying heavily on:
literature
research
other clinicians’ work
frameworks that are still new to me
I’m learning as I go.
And that part? That’s humbling.
Because I don’t have the comfort of “this is how I’ve always done it” anymore.
I’m testing. Reflecting. Adjusting.
And the thought that keeps popping up is: What if I’m getting it wrong?
That fear hits harder than I’d like to admit.
When Fear Tries to Convince Me I’m a Bad Clinician
Sometimes that fear starts telling stories.
Like:
If I mess this up, what does that say about me as a clinician?
Shouldn’t I already know this by now?
Why does it feel like everyone else is more confident?
And that’s when imposter syndrome tries to slide in and get comfortable.
But here’s the part I have to remind myself of ...sometimes out loud:
Yes, I am unlearning and relearning.
Yes, that means I might make mistakes.
But my intent is pure.
I am always operating with the learner’s best interest at heart. Always.
And if I mess something up?
I will fix it.
I will learn from it.
And we will move on.
That has to count for something.
Being Solo Makes It Hit Different
And then there’s the solo part.
Because it’s just… me.
There’s no RBT safety net.
No “maybe the RBT didn’t implement it right.”
No “I just need to train them better.”
When it’s just you, you have to sit with the possibility that:
maybe the programming was off
maybe the intervention wasn’t the right fit
maybe the timing wasn’t right
And when you’re introducing new interventions you’re still getting comfortable with, that self-reflection can feel heavy.
There’s nowhere to hide.
Different I Can Handle… Wrong Is What Scares Me
Here’s the truth:
If it’s different, I can work with that.
Different is fine.
Different is expected.
Different can still be effective.
Especially if different gets results.
What messes with my head is the possibility that it’s not just different ....it’s wrong.
And part of that fear comes from the fact that I haven’t been doing it this way long enough to build that reinforcement history yet.
I haven’t had enough time to confidently say: No… this isn’t wrong. It’s just new.
Yet.
Sitting With the “Yet”
That’s the word I’m trying to hold onto right now.
Yet.
I don’t have the long history yet.
I don’t have all the evidence yet.
I don’t have the confidence fully built yet.
But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
It just means I’m still in the process....
...And I’m learning to let that be okay.
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