Here We Go Again
It doesn’t matter how many times I shift my mindset.
It doesn’t matter how much work I do to quiet imposter syndrome.
It doesn’t matter how aware I am of it.
Somehow… it still rears its ugly head.
Always when I’m least expecting it.
When my guard is down.
When I’m watching a movie.
When I’m playing a game.
When I’m driving home, just vibing to music.
And then my brain is like, Oh, you thought you were done?
My Brain Loves a Doomsday Scenario
It’s almost like my mind runs a random alert system.
"You didn’t think of this scenario."
"Let’s think about it now."
"Actually, let’s sit here and perseverate on it."
Full doomsday mode.
And right now, that’s exactly what’s happening.
Where Imposter Syndrome Showed Up This Time
I’m currently making revisions to a behavior plan for one of my learners.
I’ll be demonstrating it.
I’ll be training the adults in this learner’s life.
I’ll be teaching them how to implement these revisions.
And that’s where imposter syndrome decided to clock in.
Not because I don’t believe in the plan.
I have the research.
I have the data.
I feel very confident that these interventions will be supportive for this learner.
That’s not the issue.
It’s Not the Intervention… It’s Me
The fear isn’t that it won’t work.
The fear is me.
More specifically:
My confidence in translating this plan to other adults.
Because now I have to take everything I know,
everything I’ve learned from working with this learner,
the rapport, the relationship, the nuances
…and put it all on paper.
Step by step.
Clear.
Structured.
So that other adults can build the same kind of relationship and rapport using these supports.
And that’s scary.
I’ve Done the Pieces… Just Not All at Once
Here’s the thing that keeps messing with my head:
I’ve done these interventions before.
I’ve used them with other learners.
I’ve used pieces of them with this learner.
I’ve seen parts of this work.
But I haven’t seen all of it put together at once as a full behavior plan.
Not like:
“Here it is. From start to finish. This is the plan.”
So now my brain is like: How can you be confident if you haven’t seen it all together yet?
And Then the “What Ifs” Start Talking
What if I teach it and it doesn’t work?
What if they implement it and the behavior still happens?
What if now it looks like I don’t know what I’m doing?
What if now I look incompetent?
And once those thoughts start, they snowball.
What I Know… Versus What I Feel
Here’s what I know, logically:
If it doesn’t work, I tweak it.
If it doesn’t work, I analyze why.
If it doesn’t work, I adjust.
That’s literally the job.
Just because something works for me doesn’t mean it’ll work the same way for someone else — especially when I have a longer reinforcement history with this learner and they don’t.
There are variables.
There are always variables.
This is not the end of the world.
Corrective Feedback Is the Real Trigger
If I’m being extra honest, a lot of this comes back to giving feedback.
Especially corrective feedback.
Especially when:
parents
teachers
other professionals
…are still very rooted in compliance-based practices.
Some aren’t familiar with neuroaffirming approaches.
Some don’t agree with them.
So now I’m managing:
my own confidence
their beliefs
the learner’s needs
and the fear of being judged
At the same time.
And whew… that’s a lot.
… But I’ll Figure It Out
I won’t lie...this part ain't no h...👀 (keep it classy, Neshia)
It’s loud.
It’s exhausting.
It’s uncomfortable.
But I know I’ll figure it out.
I always do.
And hopefully, a few months from now, I’ll come back to this post and laugh.
Like:
"Girl… you were tripping for nothing."
"Like, get it together"
"Get your panties out of a bunch? 😂
Until then… this is me working through it.
One thought at a time.
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