Sometimes my imposter syndrome spikes… after scrolling.
Specifically when I’m watching:
- OT content
- SLP content
- Or BCBAs I deeply respect
Let’s talk about both.
When Other Professionals Critique ABA
A lot of OT and SLP content critiques ABA.
Sometimes gently.
Sometimes not gently at all.
And I’m not here to invalidate anyone’s experience.
There are BCBAs who have practiced in harmful ways.
There are real stories.
There are real wounds.
But when the language gets broad....
“ABA does this.”
“BCBAs always do that.”
My nervous system goes:
I’m a BCBA.
Are they talking about me?
Even if I know I don’t practice that way…
It still hits.
And then the spiral starts.
Am I unknowingly doing harm?
Am I in the wrong field?
Is it impossible to do this right?
That’s when imposter syndrome gets loud.
When I See BCBAs I Admire
Then there’s the other side.
The BCBAs who align with my values.
The ones who speak fluently about:
- assent
- sensory integration
- trauma awareness
- nuanced behavior analysis
And they’ll say something so effortlessly... a strategy, a framework, a perspective ...and I’ll think:
“I didn’t even think of that.”
And instead of inspiration, sometimes I feel… small.
Like:
Maybe I’m not ready.
Maybe I’m not “neuro-affirming enough.”
Maybe I shouldn’t even claim that label yet.
And that’s when I retreat.
I post less.
I speak less.
I doubt more.
What I’m Learning About My Triggers
It’s not the content.
It’s comparison.
It’s over-identifying.
It’s assuming critique equals condemnation.
It’s assuming admiration means I’m behind.
When really?
Growth means you’re always learning.
And evolution means you won’t have every answer yet.
The Truth I’m Sitting With
I believe in ABA.
I also believe ABA has evolved... and still needs to evolve.
I believe I have a responsibility to practice ethically and thoughtfully.
And I believe that scrolling shouldn’t determine my confidence.
So now, when I feel that spiral starting, I pause.
I ask:
Is this conviction?
Or is this comparison?
Because those are not the same thing.
And I refuse to let comparison talk me out of growth.
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