Cheers for all those signs Universe, I think I got it this time...
Decision made - bariatrics it is
When I travel on my own, it gives me a ton of thinking space. Most of the time I don't think but instead fill that space creating online learning videos, graphics for the hundreds of business ideas I have floating round my head to keep me distracted from actually focusing on myself and, if all else fails... staring into the middle distance telling myself how much I truly appreciate a nice view. That last trip turned out to be a little bit different, after creating an entire video course on the basics of crystal healing for chakras and trying not to knacker my leg to the point of amputation through the mud of a rainy festival (are there any other kind!) I did finally take the "nudge" from the Universe to actually give myself and my rapidly failing health a bit of attention. I have a bit of trouble with the concept of failing health, cause to me that's always been about feeling totally rotten, you know when your head is pounding, throat sore as anything, muscles aching, can't keep anything down... that to me is what a poor state of health is. Not just me either, as a people manager I've taken many a call from a croaky voiced employee calling in sick with a sprained ankle/bad back/etc that also adversely affected their vocal chords. All I had going on was a dodgy knee, my health was fine. Until I actually put my full attention and focus on it and realised exactly how much my just a dodgy knee was affecting the whole entirety of my life.
In 9 months I'd gone from making fabulous progress with my physio strengthening both my legs - not forgetting the reason I had a physio was because of my right knee and not my left. Then that day, 11th November 2022 and that drive up the M1... and here I am in the summer of 2023, sat in my campervan in the middle of Ireland, damp and in so much pain.
I had to do something. I needed a knee replacement to have any kind of life. I couldn't get one for a long time. I appreciate now that is because of my weight more than my age, but those two things combined would not give a good outcome to having this knackered knee replaced, the recovery would be long and difficult and there is a fair assumption that my life wouldn't be any better. So it was entirely obvious really - I needed to lose weight and lose weight fast and forever. Definitely a job for bariatrics. Not as a quick fix - far from it, but honestly I've had 9 months of needing to use crutches, not being able to walk very far, then walking a bit too far with those crutches and getting really freaking chest muscle spasms when falling asleep. Now they send you off to a whole new other place and it's not very nice at all. In the midst of all this I have tried to diet, honestly I really have and nothing. Let me add here that I'm writing this in September, this happened in July. In August I began to see a health coach who made all of that fall exactly into place and I finally understood what was going on with me. I'll come to that in a later blog.
So, the research began. I chased up my docs about my referral to bariatrics, they confirmed it had been completed and signed off and it was just a waiting game. I looked at how long that waiting game was in my area and didn't find anything that brought me any comfort, I was looking at a wait of at least two and a half years and I knew that my knee did not have that long. I looked at private options, got quotes from those who bothered to reply, considered how to finance it, looked at surgeon reviews, hospital CQC reports, what felt like a million statistics and finally settled on a particular surgeon at Nuffield in Leeds. He had a great reputation and a great big price to go with it! But I considered how much less I'd spend on food, how much I could make from selling my massive clothes online and it all looked doable. I'd be paying it off for a good while, but at least my knee wouldn't be so bad (gosh, I really hoped, what if I did all this and my knee continued to deteriorate anyhow....).
Then I randomly saw a post in a Facebook group that mentioned this insurance you could get that paid for 75% of the cost of surgery once you'd been a member for a year, that looked like an amazing offer and I trotted off to look at that. I had a number of calls with their sales reps, seriously made them earn their money and looked at every possible angle. All seemed great so I signed up. My plan was to use the discounted gym membership that came with the plan to spend that year getting as fit as possible and then when my year was up, I might not actually need the surgery (still in denial at this point!!). I booked in to see my nurse practitioner to see what on earth was taking so long with the NHS referral and to let him know about the plans I'd made. In between times I was further researching this health plan and was dismayed to find that they preferred everyone to go to one hospital in particular. It was 250 miles away from home and it didn't look to have the best of reputations, not bad but not at the level of the Leeds hospital that I'd chosen and thought (because I'd asked this question about 6 times before actually signing up for this plan) that I could go there. Turns out not. I felt more than a little cheated, and honestly, a bit mis-sold too.
But - the other benefits were ok, it was only costing me an extra fiver a month to have the plan and the gym membership at the plan discount that it would be to join the gym, I'd already used a lot of other benefits as well so I figured I'd keep the plan and go get the surgery at their choice of hospital. Anyhow, it turns out that the NHS for my area have closed to new referrals, nobody could say how long for, so the NHS option, albeit a really long one, was completely off the table. I had to go private. I chatted to my nurse practitioner about this and told him my intention to pay for my bypass and asked if the practice would support me with the aftercare needed, he said they would, whether that was UK or Turkey (interesting that he didn't say abroad I thought...) - so that was it, the green light for aftercare and I was on my way to start planning the what and the where.