Yesterday, I had one of those moments where God lovingly corrects you through His Word in a way that feels deeply personal.
I was worrying about finances and thinking about all the things I “should” be doing right now. My husband was encouraging me and reminding me that we are going to be okay, but internally, my mind was still racing.
I kept thinking:
- What do I need to be building?
- What should I be doing next?
- Am I doing enough?
- How am I going to afford what I need?
And while he was talking, I suddenly realized something:
I had not read my daily scriptures yesterday or today.
This month I started a habit of reading one Psalm and one Proverb every day. The day before yesterday was the 23rd, and yesterday was the 24th.
As a child, I memorized Psalm 23 in the KJV version. But now that I read from an NLT Bible, the language feels more personal and easier to fully absorb.
When I opened my Bible today, the very first line I saw was:
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” — Psalm 23:1 (NLT)
And honestly, that sentence stopped me immediately.
Because in that moment, I realized how quickly survival mode can pull me back into fear, urgency, and self-reliance.
I realized I cannot go without reading the Word of God consistently because the Bible truly is the only Book you read that will, in turn, read you back.
The Word exposed exactly where my mind had drifted.
Not long after reading Psalm 23, I moved into Proverbs 23 and read:
“Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich.”
Again, I just sat there quietly.
Because it felt like God was directly confronting the survival mindset I have operated from for most of my life.
Survival mode has trained me to believe that if I am not constantly moving, fixing, striving, or figuring something out, then I am somehow falling behind.
It taught me:
- movement equals responsibility
- waiting equals laziness
- slowing down equals danger
- rest must be earned
- stillness is unproductive
So now, in this season where God is clearly teaching me to slow down, trust Him, and rebuild differently, I still find myself wrestling internally with the urge to “do more.”
And I am realizing something important:
Sometimes waiting is not stagnation.
Sometimes waiting is obedience.
That has been difficult for me to accept because survival mode does not naturally understand obedience that looks still.
Survival mode only understands urgency.
But stewardship is different.
Stewardship requires:
- trust
- awareness
- intentionality
- wisdom
- surrender
- alignment
Sometimes stewardship means moving boldly.
And sometimes stewardship means sitting still long enough for God to recalibrate your heart, your thinking, and your pace.
I think many people who have lived in survival mode struggle with waiting seasons because surviving teaches you to constantly brace for impact.
It teaches you that if you are not actively “doing something,” then everything could fall apart.
But God is teaching me in this season that not every moment requires striving.
Some moments require trust.
Some moments require rest.
Some moments require stillness.
And some moments require enough quiet for His Word to expose what fear has been trying to convince you of.
Today reminded me that survival mode will always try to pull me back into urgency.
But the Word of God pulls me back into truth.
And truth always reveals what survival mode was trying to hide.
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