SHE LEFT

She left,

But I still see her here with me.

I refuse to let her go,

because without her,

I cannot see.

She left me behind,

Because I was caught up in the past,

amused by my own obsessions.

My uncontrollable love for her,

the love I should probably let go of.

Although I cannot, I must.

She left my presence,

Because I got so obsessed with having her near me,

having her near was the only thing I could resemble with serenity,

or maybe it is because she was the only one who I felt cared for me.

The only person alive whom was my only complete fear.

She left,

As she no longer cares for me,

and nor does she even love the person whom I have become,

a narcissistic individual who has now been consumed by selfish interests.

A person who focuses only on himself,

maybe because of being out casted most of his life,

maybe because of the hatred he has for this entire world.

A world of sweet illusions,

a world of lies.

Sweet but less calm.

She left me,

Maybe because she saw that I would destroy her as I did to myself.

Maybe because she saw that a great calamity would be fall her if she carried on,

if she carried on entertaining the concept of me loving her.

If she carried on caring for someone without a clear understanding of his future,

Not because she pities who I am and what I am,

but maybe because she felt a little bit of care for me.

She was intrigued by being a part of my every thought.

A part of my life’s story,

a part of every single word in my song.

The song of my life.

She left me,

But yes,

she still is here refusing to speak with me,

waiting to see just how dumb and stupid I am enough to let her go.

Waiting to see if I truly am dumb enough to continue loving other women.

Waiting to see if I truly am stupid enough to continue destroying myself,

just so that I could win back her precious smile.

Her smile that glows in the dark.

The light that remains shining my pathway through dark

times, a smile that is more valuable than gold.

She left,

And refuses to even say a word to me.

But that doesn’t mean that I will give up on loving her,

As her silence has now become my motivation.

A sense of love that shows me that I am not doing enough to help her see how I feel,

and even if I did show her how much I loved her.

I still am not doing enough to let her realize that I do not wish to let her go,

that I am not doing enough to let her recognize me.

She left again,

Because she feels that I talk too much.

She is overwhelmed by my presence in her life,

maybe it is because she is caught up in the negativity.

So much that she regards this tender love and affection to be nothing more than a nuisance.

Maybe because she cannot even deal with it enough to reciprocate its purpose.

Maybe it is because she clearly doesn’t care anymore and just wishes me to let her go.

Maybe she is only doing it because she feels harassed,

She feels harassed by my relentless in-control of my own composure.

She cannot deal with the transparency of my love.

A love that is so clean.

Simple and plain.

She left,

And she probably would never come back to me.

She left,

And I am still foolish enough to continue this pursuit for her.

I am stupidly in love and I am going to get her back.

(633 Words)