Hey, mama. Let’s just take a breath together for a second.
If you are reading this while hiding in the bathroom for a uninterrupted minute, or while sitting in your car in the driveway just to catch a vibe before heading inside—I see you.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the heavy lifting we do as mothers. When you become a mom, it feels like the world hands you a million different capes and expects you to wear them all at once. You’re navigating a career or building a business, trying to keep the spark alive in your relationship, managing a household, and showing up for your kids.
But somewhere between the school runs, the career goals, and the endless mental to-do lists, it’s so easy to lose sight of the woman behind the title of "Mom."
If I’m being completely honest, I am a victim of this very cycle, and it's a reality I am navigating at this exact moment. There is a beautiful irony behind By Avani because it is my own personal reclamation project. This isn't just a business; I am doing this for me. And more than that, I am doing this for us. It’s for every woman who is tired of feeling like she has to choose between herself and literally anything else, proving that we can choose both.
The Career & Motherhood Hustle
We are living in an era where we are expected to work like we don’t have children, and raise children like we don’t work. It’s exhausting. Trying to climb the ladder or build your own empire while making sure your babies are nurtured can feel like a constant tug-of-war. Some days you feel like an absolute boss, and other days the mom-guilt creeps in so heavy it takes your breath away.
But here is the truth: choosing to pursue your passions and build your career isn't taking away from your motherhood—it is expanding it. You are showing your kids what resilience looks like. The key isn't finding a perfect, mythical "balance." It's about giving yourself grace on the days when the scale tips more toward work, and fiercely protecting your peace on the days it tips toward family.
Let’s get personal for a second, because behind everything I build, there is a real story. Outside of By Avani, my world revolves around my two most important titles: mom. I am a mother of two to a beautiful boy and girl. They are my "why," my constant motivation, and the reason behind the daily hustle.
Professionally, I am a licensed practicing esthetician, but at my core, I am a creative. A writer. A dreamer. And above all, an entrepreneur who has been in the trenches. I have built businesses from the ground up—and let's be real, I’ve failed, I’ve stumbled, and then I’ve gotten right back up and tried again.
If you see me constantly rebranding or evolving, it’s because I absolutely refuse to settle. I refuse to give mediocre services, and I refuse to put out mediocre ideas. This journey isn't about being perfect; it’s about refusing to accept anything less than the highest standard for myself and for you.
Navigating Relationships
Let's keep it real—relationships change after kids. The romance that used to feel effortless now requires scheduling and intentional effort. When you've spent the entire day being touched, asked questions, and poured out for everyone else, the last thing you might feel like doing is pouring into a partner.
Navigating love in motherhood means learning how to communicate your capacity. It’s about letting your partner in on the mental load instead of carrying it all like a martyr. A strong relationship isn’t one without friction; it’s one where both people realize that the chaotic phase of raising young children is just a season, and you have to actively choose to be a team every single day.
Reclaiming Your Femininity
This is the piece we usually drop first, isn't it? We get so used to being the provider, the fixer, the scheduler, and the ultimate decision-maker that we step entirely into our masculine energy just to survive the day. We forget how to just be. We forget how to receive.
Reclaiming your femininity as a mother isn't just about looking good—though treating yourself to a luxury skincare routine or dressing in a way that makes you feel beautiful absolutely matters. It's an internal shift. It's about allowing yourself to step out of "survival mode" and into "softness." It’s realizing that you deserve romance, peace, aesthetic spaces, and quiet moments just for you. You are a multi-dimensional woman. Motherhood is a beautiful part of who you are, but it is not the entirety of who you are.
I dropped my femininity for almost two whole years. I stopped doing my makeup, which is interesting because I am one of those girls who will sit at my vanity and do my makeup just for fun, and I’d just selfie away. I haven’t selfied in a good minute. I’ve been regaining my sense of self. I haven’t quite started doing my makeup again, but I am putting more effort into my appearance, and I’ve been watering myself and chasing my dreams. Hence, By Avani (lol).
To the Mom in the Thick of It
If you’re trying to figure out how to hold it all together today, I want to remind you: you don’t have to do it perfectly to do it well. Your kids don't need a flawless mom; they need a whole, happy mom. Your partner needs a woman who is also fulfilled. And most importantly, you need to remember who you were before the world started calling you "Mom."
Step into your power, but don't forget to protect your softness. We are doing this together.
What area of your life feels the hardest to balance right now? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.
With love and alignment,
J.
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