At the 1851 Women’s Rights Convention held in Akron, Ohio, Sojourner Truth delivered what is now recognized as one of the most famous abolitionist and women’s rights speeches in American history, “Ain’t I a Woman?” In this speech, Sis. Sojourner attempted to share with her fellow women folk that she and the women who look like her were not protected or provided for like them. Her blackness seemed to be a hinderance to her being seen and treated as "a woman."
Here's the thing, we live in a patriarch. A system of society or government controlled by men. This type of society advises that men protect and provide for the families they created. As a gender, girls/women are said to be the weaker sex, those who should be provided for, protected, and to be nurturers (someone who provides food and/or mostly emotional care). However, in many of our households, we often see the person who was once a girl, being the provider and protector of the home. Oftentimes, the weight of many things that happen in the black community fall on the women. Just like your race, the girls/women have gone and go through many experiences such as sexual harrassment (unwanted sexual advances), sexual abuse/assault, job discrimination, imposter syndrome (a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”), misogynoir (dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women who are black), colorism, texturism, featurism just to name a few. Additionally, you are trying to wrestle through all of this while trying to be just a girl/woman, the gateway for generations to come. This sounds exhausting! But many have gone through and are thriving. You can and will too!
From your hair that defies gravity, your beautiful broad nose, and full lips to your naturally melanated skin, you are beautiful. Although it may seem like your appearance is not glorified, unbeknownst to you, what comes naturally to you are the most sought after. As you develop, your body will fill out in places that will turn heads. In many cases, your chest will grow, and hips will broaden. Your butt will get bigger. That’s great but when possible focus on being fine and not just looking fine. Through drinking plenty of water and eating healthy foods that are grilled and baked. Along with the changes in your body, your hormones and emotions are going to be up and down like a roller coaster. You will need some guidance through this change because you will notice different messages on television, social media, magazines, from the opposite gender, and in some books. Those messages can be very damaging to you and how you may see yourself. This does not have to be the case for you. You do not have to accept stereotypes about your gender and/or race.
Black girl, you really are a jewel. Don’t forget that! You are not perfect and will never be. No one is perfect. However, when constructive criticism is shared especially by someone who loves you and you love and trust, it’s okay to take it. Just because everyone isn’t perfect, it does not mean that you can receive correction. I liken emotional, personal and spiritual growth to the use of a rubber band. It has many functions but unless it is stretched, it will not fulfill many of its purposes. Stretching doesn’t feel good. It can be downright uncomfortable. However, remaining the same does not serve much purpose or develops anyone.
So, black girls EVERYWHERE, this is only post #1. We have a lot to discuss. I hope this post gets you to start thinking. Please leave a comment and if you have questions, I would love to attempt to answer. If I can’t, I will lead you in the right direction and/or an auntie will step in and give her perspective. Honestly, we need each other! Let’s get the conversation started.
Peace and blessings,
Auntie Candice