As promised, this post will deal with stereotypes that have subconsciously influenced us. Those stereotypes play themselves out in how we think, how we're supposed to act, react and in many cases who we are. Generally, we become like the people around us. In my case, not so much.
Although my mom lived her life without apology, I did not want to be like her. Her demure essence was not flashy and really did not fit any of the stereotypes. I was too selfish to be a Mammy. I didn’t like my body enough or didn’t think my body was put together enough to get anything from anybody to be a Jezebel. So, I settled for the Sapphire stereotype. It was easy to look around and mimic what the other girls and older women were doing. Oddly, the attention is what I wanted but there was a limit of how much I wanted. I had a filter, my mom and my dad. Their morals and values were etched in my soul. So, I knew how far to go to not embarrass them or me. But there are many girls/women who do NOT have neither a mother nor father, for whatever reason, to impress upon them their morals and values into their daughters (or sons, for that matter). Morals and values are the core of our being.
Courtesy of aljazeera.com. Examples of documented stereotypes of black girls/women. From left to right: Mammy (takes care of everybody but herself), Jezebel (uses her body to get what she wants) and Sapphire (attitudinal, sassy, ready to pop off at any hint of disrespect).
Mothers and/or aunties are extremely important. They are our examples of OJT (on-the-job training). We follow them to know how and who to become rather whole or unhealthy women, wives, mothers, girlfriends, friends, students, community member and the like. Now, I want to be clear. Just because a person is of the same gender, it doesn’t mean that you should follow everything they do. You still have something on the inside of you that tells you that something may or may not be right about your or their behavior. That is your intuition. It is your inner guide. Some call it God, the Holy Spirit or Wisdom but what is for sure it pays to listen to it. It’s highly recommended that you listen to or feel it when others are saying or doing otherwise. You may be the odd ball in your family and/or your hood.
Trust that your uniqueness will outshine the sometimes forced pill to be like everyone else. Be you! Trust that the Creator made no mistakes when you were born. Your circumstances surrounding your birth and upbringing may not have been ideal but everyday you are breathing and blinking is a day to discover who you are and why your life is not a carbon copy of anyone else. FIGHT FOR YOUR INDIVIDUALITY!!!