When Your Date Feels Too Familiar (And Not in a Good Way)

I met him on a dating app—one of those swipe-right-and-see-what-happens situations. Right away, I noticed some familiar traits. His profile screamed athletic, sports guy, which hit a little too close to my ex-husband. Not necessarily a dealbreaker, but it made my antennas perk up. 

Still, I’m in my 50 First Dates era—ya know, saying yes to new experiences, staying open, and not dismissing people just because they don’t check all the right boxes. I figured, why not give this guy a shot? Worst case, I’d have an okay evening. Best case, maybe I’d surprise myself.

It didn’t take long. We sat down, and I started noticing little things—his mannerisms, his voice, his interests. Nothing crazy, but enough small similarities to my ex to make me uneasy. It was like déjà vu in a way I didn’t want.

I kept going, trying to feel it out. Is this actually a big deal? Am I just overthinking? But the more we talked, the more those little reminders stacked up. And eventually, I just knew—I wasn’t into it. It wasn’t one big glaring red flag, just a collection of small things that made me feel like I was stepping backward instead of forward.

Once our date was over, I didn’t need to overanalyze it. I didn’t need to justify not going on a second date. I just felt in my gut that this wasn’t for me, and that was enough.

Some people love dating a “type,” but when that type is tied to a past you’ve already moved on from, it doesn’t always feel right. It’s not about whether he was a good guy or whether I was being fair—it’s about how I felt in that moment. And the feeling was clear: this isn’t for me.

This date wasn’t a failure—it was clarity. It reinforced something I already knew deep down: I want something different. Someone different. And I don’t need to question that or try to make it make sense.

If you ever find yourself on a date realizing I do not want this, let that be enough. You’re not being picky. You’re not being unfair. You’re just being honest with yourself. And that’s the whole point of dating in the first place.

Love y’all!!