When Vulnerability Becomes a Weapon Against You
Loving someone means letting your guard down. It means trusting them with your heart, your fears, and your dreams. But what happens when that vulnerability is used against you? What do you do when the person who promised to love and protect you instead manipulates, controls, and hurts you emotionally?
I know this pain all too well. I married a narcissist in prison. I stood by him, loved him, and became vulnerable with him, only to have my trust turned into a weapon. He was already in prison when I married him, but despite his circumstances, he found ways to make me feel trapped, guilty, and unworthy.
Every time I showed vulnerability, he used it against me. He twisted my words, manipulated my emotions, and played the victim. Even though I was the one showing love and support, he made me feel like the bad guy.
He would say I was abandoning him—but how could I be abandoning someone I was committed to, even behind bars? He was already in prison when I married him; I chose to love him in his lowest place, yet he made me feel guilty for not being enough.
He would twist every argument, playing the victim to make me feel like the villain. He held onto deep-rooted grudges, even over the smallest things, and would bring them up repeatedly to guilt-trip me. I tried to understand him, to love him through his pain, but he used my compassion as a tool for manipulation.
He constantly made me feel less than him, even though his circumstances were a result of his own actions. The mental manipulation was constant—subtle, but powerful. It was as if he needed to bring me down to feel better about himself.
I realized that his emotional manipulation was just as damaging as physical abuse. It broke my spirit, made me question my worth, and left me feeling alone and defeated.
My Testimony of Disobedience: I Wasn’t Supposed to Marry Him
Looking back, I realize I was never supposed to marry him. This was my journey of disobedience. God warned me, but I didn’t listen.
I met him on Facebook. We started talking, and somehow, I fell in love. I convinced myself that I was doing the right thing by loving someone in his lowest place. I thought I was being compassionate, loyal, and selfless. But the truth is, I was being disobedient to God’s voice.
God gave me a clear warning. I had a vision of a salad with little snakes coming out of it. It was vivid and unsettling. In that moment, I knew it was a warning from the Lord, showing me that something that looked good on the outside was full of hidden dangers. But I ignored it. I brushed it off as a meaningless dream. I convinced myself that I could handle it, that my love was enough to make things right.
But disobedience to God always comes with consequences. I walked into a relationship that God was trying to protect me from, and I paid the price. I endured emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, and constant mental abuse. I lost my peace, my joy, and almost lost myself.
I thank God for helping me come out of it. Even in my disobedience, He never left me. His grace sustained me, and His love pulled me out of the emotional prison I was trapped in.
I learned a powerful lesson: Obedience to God is everything. Disobedience doesn’t just delay God’s promises—it puts you in places you were never meant to be. It ties your heart to people who were never meant to have access to you. It costs you your peace, your joy, and sometimes, your identity.
1 Samuel 15:22 reminds us:
“To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”
I sacrificed so much because of my disobedience—my peace, my joy, and my self-worth. But I thank God that He rescued me, restored me, and taught me through my mistakes.
What is a Narcissistic Relationship?
A narcissistic relationship is one where one partner consistently prioritizes their own needs and desires at the expense of the other’s emotional well-being. Narcissists lack empathy, crave constant admiration, and use manipulation to maintain control. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and use your vulnerabilities against you.
Common Traits of a Narcissist:
1. Lack of Empathy: They don’t care about your feelings unless it benefits them.
2. Manipulation and Gaslighting: They twist situations to make you doubt your reality.
3. Constant Need for Validation: They crave admiration and get upset when they’re not the center of attention.
4. Emotional Exploitation: They use your weaknesses and insecurities against you.
5. Playing the Victim: They never take responsibility and always blame others for their problems.
Proverbs 4:23 warns us:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
In a narcissistic relationship, your heart is constantly under attack. Protecting your emotional well-being is essential for your sanity and self-worth.
Obedience is Better Than Sacrifice
If God is warning you about someone or something, listen. Don’t ignore the signs because of your feelings or desires. God sees what you can’t see. He knows the motives of people’s hearts and the hidden dangers that are waiting.
Disobedience cost me everything. It cost me years of heartache, emotional manipulation, and loss of self-worth. It delayed God’s purpose in my life. But even in my disobedience, God was faithful. He never abandoned me. He used my mistakes to teach me, strengthen me, and prepare me for a better future.
Romans 8:28 reassures us:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
God turned my disobedience into a testimony. I learned to trust Him completely, even when His will doesn’t align with my desires. Obedience is not about control—it’s about protection and purpose.
Final Thoughts: Obey God, No Matter What
Disobedience will cost you more than you’re willing to pay. It will delay God’s promises, derail your purpose, and damage your soul. But obedience unlocks God’s blessings, protection, and favor.
Isaiah 1:19 promises:
“If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land.”
If God is telling you to let go of someone, let them go. If He’s warning you about a relationship, listen. Don’t learn the hard way like I did. Trust that God knows best.
You don’t have to understand it. You just have to obey.
I am grateful for my journey because it taught me the power of obedience and the consequences of disobedience. It showed me God’s grace, love, and faithfulness. I survived a narcissistic relationship, but I didn’t come out the same. I came out wiser, stronger, and more obedient to God’s voice.
Be encouraged to obey God, no matter what it looks like or feels like.
God knows best.
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