There was a time in my life when I wanted to get married so badly. I wasn’t necessarily thinking about the depth of marriage, the covenant, or the commitment—it was simply something I desired. Looking back, I realize that my longing wasn’t coming from a place of wisdom, maturity, or divine purpose. It was rooted in lust and a lack of understanding of what it truly meant to honor God with my body and my life.
I didn’t yet know what it felt like to hold myself, to keep myself pure, to truly abstain from sex and dedicate that area of my life to God. Instead, I saw marriage as an escape, a way to satisfy my flesh while still maintaining an appearance of righteousness. I wanted marriage, but I wanted it for the wrong reasons.
But as I began to mature in the Lord, I started to see marriage differently. I realized that marriage is more than just intimacy, companionship, or fulfilling personal desires. It’s a covenant—a holy agreement before God. It’s a ministry—a partnership designed to glorify Him. While physical intimacy is a beautiful and sacred part of marriage, it’s only a fraction of what marriage truly is.
The Danger of Rushing Marriage
Society pressures us to follow a timeline:
• Graduate by this age
• Get married by this age
• Have children by this age
• Build a life that fits a certain mold
But do we ever stop to ask ourselves, “Why do I really want to get married?”
• Is it because I feel lonely?
• Is it because everyone around me is getting married?
• Is it because I want to have guilt-free sex?
• Or is it because I truly understand God’s purpose for marriage?
When I started asking myself these questions, I had to face the hard truth: I wanted marriage more than I wanted God’s timing. I was making marriage an idol. I was placing my desires above His perfect will for my life.
God’s Plan is Always Worth the Wait
As I continue growing in my faith, I see marriage in a new light. I still desire it—it’s a beautiful thing—but I’m no longer in a rush. I understand now that marriage is not just about me; it’s about Him. It’s about entering a covenant where both individuals commit to serving God together.
Marriage is a serious commitment, not something to enter into just because it seems like the next logical step. Proverbs 19:2 reminds us:
“Desire without knowledge is not good—how much more will hasty feet miss the way!”(NIV)
I don’t want to miss God’s best because I was impatient. I don’t want to settle because I was tired of waiting. I don’t want to step outside of His will because my emotions got the best of me.
Instead, I want to trust that in His perfect time, He will align me with the person He has for me. Until then, I will keep preparing, keep growing, and keep my motives pure.
A Heart Check: Is Marriage Your Idol?
If you’re in a season of waiting, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
• Do I desire marriage more than I desire God’s will?
• Am I seeking marriage for the right reasons?
• Have I truly surrendered my timeline to God?
• Am I content in Christ, even if marriage doesn’t happen on my schedule?
God’s timing is always perfect. He knows our hearts, our desires, and what is truly best for us. When we trust Him, we can rest in the fact that His plans will always be greater than anything we could arrange for ourselves.
So to those who, like me, desire marriage—let’s desire it for the right reasons. Let’s seek God first, and trust that everything else will fall into place in His perfect time.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
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