At this point, I’m convinced “growth” is just… exposure therapy. ✨
Over the last few months I’ve been getting this message:
“Release fear.”
“Let go of fear around pain.”
"There's nothing to worry about."
“Trust more.”
And I was like… Okay. Sounds great. I'm usually up for a challenge. Very aligned.
Now, for context, I have a few fears that stand out to me. Nothing major. Just a solid top three:
- IVs
- Heights
- My husband’s driving
(And honestly… depending on the day, #3 might take the lead 😅)
So yesterday, I go to start my monthly "trial" treatments.
Already not my favorite situation, given the whole “needles entering my body repeatedly for 14 hours a month thing”.
But I’m showing up. I’m doing the work. I’m being brave.
And then…
Four.
IV.
Attempts.
FOUR.
At that point, my veins were like,
“Yeah, no. We’re not participating in this.”
And honestly? Same.
✨
So I leave.
No treatment.
Slightly shaken.
Spiritually… questioning things.
On the way home, I had this moment of clarity:
“Maybe, or hopefully, this is divine.”
Because we had plans to go to the Cavs game tonight to watch my daughter perform.
And those treatments?
They take me OUT.
So I’m like: “Wow. Thank you, spirit. You’re really looking out for me.”
✨
And then… We get to the game.
I learn something a tad bit new about myself.
I do not, in fact, enjoy being seated approximately 47 miles above ground level.
These were not seats.
These were observational perches.
I sat down, looked down once, and immediately thought:
“Oh. This is how I go.”
My head is spinning.
My body is like,
“Absolutely not, we are not doing this today.”
I'm gripping my husband’s hand like this is a survival situation.
Which, to my nervous system…
it was.
😅
So let’s just review.
Spirit says: release fear.
And within hours, I experience:
• My fear of IVs
• My fear of heights
• And then, of course… the drive home
Which really just completes the trilogy.
✨
At some point, I had to laugh. Because this is how it works, right?
We ask to grow. We ask to release something.
And life goes: “Perfect. Let’s practice.”
✨
But here’s what actually shifted today:
Releasing fear doesn’t mean you stop feeling it.
It means… You stop letting it run everything.
✨
Because even though I was terrified…
I stayed. I breathed. I calmed my body enough to not panic.
I didn’t run for the exit (because it was so far down the stairs).
I was still there. Still present. Still watching my daughter have her moment.
✨
And that matters.
Not perfection.
Not fearlessness.
Just… staying.
Same with the IV situation. I was like:
“Alright. That didn’t work. Moving on.”
And maybe that’s the real upgrade.
Not that fear disappears.
But that it doesn’t define the experience anymore.
✨
💫 Fear Release (Without Forcing It)
Next time fear shows up, try this:
1️⃣ Name it
“I’m feeling fear.”
(Not: “This is a disaster.”)
2️⃣ Breathe into your body
Slow it down.
Your body leads this — not your thoughts.
3️⃣ Stay (if it’s safe)
You don’t have to love it.
Just don’t immediately run.
4️⃣ Let it move
Fear isn’t meant to stay stuck.
It passes when you don’t grip it.
5️⃣ Acknowledge yourself after
“That was hard… and I stayed.”
💛 Final Note
I thought releasing fear would feel amazing and make me feel free. Instead…
It looked like four IV attempts, nosebleed seats from another dimension, and a slightly aggressive drive home.
And somehow… That’s exactly what was needed.
💛