If you’ve ever sat down to start a task and immediately felt your brain say, “Absolutely not,” congratulations, you’re human. Capacity isn’t a fixed number; it shifts daily, hourly, and sometimes minute-to-minute depending on sleep, stress, identity fatigue, sensory overwhelm, hormones, and about 700 other real-life variables.
Your capacity is not a moral measure.
It’s a signal — a quiet internal notification that tells you what you actually have the bandwidth for.
Here’s how to start noticing it:
1. Check in with your body
Before your brain starts giving you a guilt-based to-do list, tune in:
- Are your shoulders up near your ears?
- Is your heart racing or your breathing shallow?
- Are you tired in a way coffee can’t fix?
- Are you restless or overstimulated?
Your body is often the first one to know when you’re at (or beyond) your limit.
2. Notice your emotional load
Emotions take energy, even good ones. Ask:
- Do I feel tender?
- Am I easily irritated?
- Does everything feel “a lot”?
- Am I numb or checked out?
Emotional bandwidth is a major part of capacity. It deserves respect, not judgment.
3. Check your cognitive bandwidth
If your brain feels foggy or glitchy, you might be out of updates for the day.
- Trouble focusing
- Trouble starting
- Trouble remembering simple steps
- Staring at one spot for way too long
These are not personal failures. They are cognitive exhaustion cues.
4. Match tasks to today, not your ideal self
High capacity days? Beautiful.
Low capacity days? Still valid.
Instead of forcing a mismatch, ask: “What feels doable with the energy I have?”
Sometimes it’s big work.
Sometimes it’s folding one towel.
Sometimes it’s nothing, and that’s honest.
5. No capacity = not your fault
Capacity is not about willpower.
It’s about your nervous system, your lived experience, and the weight you carry.
You deserve a life aligned with your actual energy, not the version of you that’s been over-functioning for too long.
Be kind to yourself... unless being berated is your thing.