Along time ago…
In 2020, my little rainbow 🌈 bundle of joy was born at 24 weeks weighing 1 lb. 10 ounces. I can remember the day she was born like it was yesterday.
Around 12 am, I felt a crazy pain in my lower abdomen. I could barely move. I put on the heart monitor I purchased at Amazon for peace of mind. Her heartbeats were active and similar to the prior nights.
I promised her if she let me sleep, I’d go into the hospital when the sun came up.
Sis, if you make promises, you better keep them. 😂
I woke up to pain like no other. I took out my phone and monitored the pains. They were coming every three minutes. I knew I was in labor.
The Birth Experience
I packed up my van life experience, told my nieces I was heading to the hospital and got on the expressway.
As soon as I got to the hospital, I could barely walk.
Girl, I left my van at the front door and told the security desk I was in labor.
And you know what?
They left me in the waiting room for nearly an hour. #truestory
When they finally pushed me into the exam room, I told the nurse I was in labor.
She brushed me off.
I went to the restroom and my mucus plug came out.
I told the nurse my water broke, but yet again she didn’t believe me.
Honestly by this time, I just wanted to pass out from the pain.
Or yell at the top of my lungs, “I’m having a baby!”
Low and behold, one of my doctors came in and got to work. She made a mess of that room, telling nurses to do this, do that, and get me in the delivery room.
But I was only 6 centimeters dilated.
To make matters worse, I had to
- push out a cerclage,
- experience an unsuccessful C-section and
- pull on the white coat of an angel who put me under, because I just couldn’t take the operating madness anymore.
Some hours later, I awoke to a friend in the room saying my LO was safe in the NICU.
Her Traumatic Experience
My princess stayed there for 3 and a half months, while I racked up parking fees visiting everyday until she was discharged. I pumped milk every two hours for 3 and a half months.
Y’all, you’d probably laugh at the small amount I collected. You’d probably tell me to give up, like one of the lactation consultants from the hospital.
But I couldn’t give up.
I knew my 1 pound princess needed those small drinks of breast milk.
While growing she had steps forward, then steps back, but definitely moments when she was worn out from all of it.
I remember visiting her and noticing she wasn’t her chipper self. She laid very still in the incubator, no matter whether I sang to her or tried to touch her.
I knew something was wrong.
I told the nurse she seemed lethargic. I told the doctor she wasn’t her normal cheerful self,
but they weren’t hearing me.
I continued to love on my daughter until I met a night nurse who listened and told the doctor that she believed something was wrong.
The doctor did the necessary test and found out that she was in fact under the weather with an infection due to drinking milk before her digestion system was ready.
She apologized.
But I knew I had to do more.
So I put on my big girl drawers and pumped like my life depended on it.
But it was her life that truly depended on it.
At my original 36 weeks of pregnancy, my daughter was discharged; one week after my father passed away
.
Tears of life, tears of death
.
Self Discovery
From that day forward I vowed to myself, my daughter and my son, that I would choose life in all of its glory.
That I would be more present in my life.
That I would celebrate all the power that lies in my veins.
That I would honor the body that I was given and help keep my family healthy.
Today, as you go about your processes to work, to the doctor, to drop the little ones off at school, give yourself a pat on the back.
Sometimes we forget to acknowledge all that we are, all that we’ve been through and all that we are to become.
When we honor our journey, we give ourselves the love we need to keep going.
Sis, keep going.
Go wherever you want to go.
Do whatever you want to do.
Reach in and harness the power within
.
That light burns bright for you and for those who need you.
And I’m here for it. I am here for you. #selflove
XoXo, Kiamani from the Grow With Teddy Team
