“Children should be seen and not heard.”
That was one of the founding principles of my elementary years. And no matter how many times I heard it, I found a million and one reasons to talk.
And talk about any and everything is what I did.
Did I agree with something? Sure, let me tell you why.
Was I opposed to something? Absolutely, and now let me state my case.
This love of language became the reason for my many punishments including being brought in the principal's office for having straight A’s in classwork, but many unsatisfactory grades for excessive talking.
- I wasn’t provided information about being a part of public relations, possibly being a mayor or city councilwoman.
- I wasn’t introduced to the idea of becoming a psychiatrist because there are lots of people who will need to hear my voice while working through their problems.
- I wasn’t given information about becoming a teacher because students needed to hear what I had to say.
No, I was scolded by family and school leaders.
And while I’m an adult and can look back at those formative years with open eyes and a healed heart, I realized that most of the people that I came in contact with that “I listened too”, found a way to tell me I talked too much (or that no one wanted to hear what I had to say). This included relationships and family, but when it came to strangers they always found a way to ask for my opinion.
It was a strange phenomenon.
It was almost as if those who were not close to me respected my range of words and ideas, but those who were close, did not. Or maybe they were simply tired of hearing what I had to say.
I don’t know, I digress.
This problem brings me to a quote I read some time ago. “A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something.” -Plato
And while I didn’t see myself as a fool, I figured I should at least try to hear Plato out and try a different approach.
From that moment on, I became a listening powerhouse. I was selective to whom I would share my inner thoughts too. I began to journal more than I would talk. I started to catch myself when I saw me going down the gossip trail. I took sabbaticals any time I needed a break from negativity to regain my clarity.
I also began to understand my ability to speak was a gift, not a curse. I began to honor my God given talents and ignore everything else that contradicted that beautiful insight.
Am I saying I am perfect now? Absolutely not! One would probably call me a severe introvert now due to past dealings, but I’ve found a way to respect my craft in ways that make me smile.
Sometimes I wonder where I would have been if I had succumbed to the negativity surrounding my gift of language.
And I am sure there are many children just like I was, who have been told to be quiet ALL THEIR LIFE so they never got a chance to revel in their gift and honor THEIR VOICE.
I said all of this to say, we are all living in a bubble of thoughts and ideas that have been imprinted on us from birth. And while we try to shake these ideas and beliefs off, it becomes redundant because no matter what we do on the outside, our life on the inside is a reflection of those earlier imprints.
And we must become aware of their holds before we are truly able to break free from those verbal curses.
If you are a parent, caregiver or grandparent, let’s begin to be aware of the words that we speak around and about the children in our care that we love. They need us to be the shining example of what love is. And they need us to begin to acknowledge and honor their gifts so that they can shine brightly from the inside out.
Yes, your toddler may smear food all over the counter even after you provided a stuffer bib. But your toddler may be the next Picasso.
Yes, your preschooler may ask a million questions about any and everything you do. But your preschooler may be the next scientist that uses their hypothesis to discover a new source of electricity on Mars.
As you can see, the sky is not the limit for them. You are.
Grow With Teddy is a shining example of a creative space for children and parents to learn and grow. With stories that help foster language to activities that bring caregivers and children together to develop those beautiful gifts that we call skills, Grow With Teddy is a simple, yet powerful way to help our littlest ones shine brightly.
If you are not already signed up to our newsletter, please do so at https://bit.ly/m/Grow-With-Teddy and share this with a parent, caregiver, grandparent or friend who may need a little encouragement today.
#parenting #selfawareness #oldwounds #childhood #memories #toddlers #preschoolers #exploration #creativity #howtohealfromtrauma #oldtrauma #healingoldwounds #howtomovefoward #howtoheal #toddlerparents #montessorieducation #howtobeganhomeschooling #microschools #playbasedlearning