JEWISH HOLIDAYS I SUKKOT I HER TRIBE 5786
They say that behind every great man there is a kitchen drawer I need to get something out of; and why is he even in the kitchen right now?!
It’s a joke many of us can relate to, especially during the chagim season. But after seemingly endless preparations, is sitting in our Sukkah and welcoming the ushpizin something we can also relate to? Each day of Sukkot we are joined by the presence of one of our forefathers – but what about the foremothers? This year, let’s remind ourselves that behind every great man, there truly is a strong woman, with a greatness all her own. As we invite the ushpizin, I invite you to focus on the incredible women who made each one of these special guests who they were, and to invite them, as well.
Avraham-Sarah
The first night of Sukkot. We’re finally here! Tonight we welcome Avraham, and with him, his beloved wife Sarah. Avraham and Sarah were partners in spreading light to the world, but something was missing from their lives – a child. According to Chazal, Sarah was childless because she lacked a womb. Hashem changed Avram and Sarai’s names, and Sarah miraculously conceives.
But whose name was changed first? In the text itself it seems like Avram's. But if we examine the letter switched from Sarai’s name – a yud – we discover something interesting. Yud in gematriya is ten. In place of her yud Sarah received a heh – with a gematriya of five. What happened to the other five? Avraham didn’t have any letter of his name changed; he only received an additional heh – five. Did Sarah’s other five go to her husband? Perhaps for Avraham’s name to be changed he needed the help of his wife.
Once this happens, the formerly womb-less Sarah can bear a child. Almost as if, by “giving” Avraham some of her yud, some of herself, Sarah could carve out an empty space inside of herself, room (and womb) for otherness.
Sarah teaches us to let go of those heavy parts of ourselves that hold us back in order to allow for growth, for newness. Can I, too, learn to let go, to make space for others, to open myself up to new life?
Yitzchak-Rivka
Like many women in Tanach, Rivka was faced with a situation she figured out with more clarity than her husband. Yitzchak’s intentions in wanting to bless Esav were pure, but he was blind to reality. Rivka’s feminine insight, as well as her experience of growing up in the broken home of Lavan, gave her the ability to see past Esav’s exterior. But then why doesn’t she communicate that with her husband?
According to Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, she did. Nobody likes to be told they’re wrong. Rivka, in her great wisdom, got her husband to understand his mistake on his own. After all, sending Yaakov to be blessed in Esav’s place dressed up in goatskins seems like a pathetic disguise. But that’s exactly the point! When Yitzchak understood how easily he could be tricked by Yaakov – his simple and honest son – how much more so had he been blinded all this time by the deceptive Esav!
Rivka reminds us that bina – that feminine quality of insight – is not just about understanding and knowing; it’s about how we impart that knowledge in a way that doesn’t hurt others.
Yaakov-Rachel and Leah
Being married to the same man as your sister is more than difficult – it seems impossible. Yet despite that hardship, a picture emerges of each sister able to see the other’s pain, giving selflessly to one another. By doing so Rachel and Leah lay the foundation for what Am Yisrael is all about – unity, despite our differences, no matter how difficult. It’s what Sukkot is all about, too – bringing all kinds of Jews together, as represented by the arba minim. As we hold our lulav, etrog, hadassim, and aravot close to our hearts, let’s take to heart Rachel and Leah’s ability to overcome their challenges and love each other unconditionally. Let’s try to see another Jew who is so very different– and understand that she, too, is an intrinsic part of this Jewish family.
Moshe-Tzipporah
The Maharal explains that it was appropriate that Moshe – the man who led the Jewish nation from bondage to freedom – was married to a woman named Tzipporah, a bird. A bird represents movement, vitality, freedom. But what is freedom? Imagine a bird who does not know how to use its wings. Instead of allowing it to fly, its wings become a heavy burden it must carry around with it wherever it goes. Each one of us is born with wings – our unique talents that help us soar. We are also given what we perceive as baggage – perhaps a complicated family situation, health challenges, or those parts of myself I wish I could get rid of. True freedom comes through learning to turn all of life’s circumstances into opportunities to fly. Understanding that if I just learn to use it correctly, that baggage can help me grow, to soar. Tzipporah didn’t have a simple life. She wasn’t born a Jew, and she married a man who was married more to the Jewish people than to herself. But she turned those life circumstances into an opportunity to become an incredible person, an inspiration for generations of Jews. As we welcome Moshe – and Tzipporah – into our Sukkah, take a moment to reflect on the “burdens” of life – and how to turn those burdens into wings.
Aharon-Elisheva
Relatively little is known about Aharon’s wife, Elisheva, but sometimes silence speaks volumes. To me, Elisheva represents the greatness of “silent” women – those who aren’t famous influencers, leaders, or rebbetzins; those who don’t have a massive following on social media, who don’t have PhDs or impressive careers. Some women will never have biographies written about them, but they change the world quietly, persistently. They are probably the ones who will ultimately bring the geula. Today, let’s focus on appreciating these women and ourselves. Let’s remind ourselves that it's not my status or the number of likes I get that are important; it’s the quiet acts of kindness and dedication that change the world.
Yosef-Osenat
Imagine: the woman who tried to seduce Yosef and then had him jailed ends up becoming his mother-in-law. This is what happens to Yosef: after being freed from jail, he marries Osenat, Potiphar’s daughter. How difficult! What this shows about Osenat herself is incredible. Like Rivka, she was raised in a home with values far from Torah, far from a sense of morals. Also like Rivka, Osenat raised herself far above the level of her parents. Osenat teaches us to break out of the confines (the prison, so to speak) of what others expect, and to dream – as Yosef was so good at doing – of a different way. We, too, can dream as Osenat did. Today, take a moment to dream of the person you could be. Imagine that person fully, down to every detail – and let yourself become her!
David-Michal
The last night of Sukkot, almost time to say goodbye to the Sukkah. Some Jews have a custom to stay up all night learning Torah, or to finish the book of Tehillim.
Tonight we welcome David HaMelech. David owed his life to his wife Michal when she helped David escape through the window, thereby saving him from her murderous father Shaul.
Michal teaches us bravery. Bravery to do the right thing, even when the odds are overwhelming. Bravery to express emotions fully and unashamedly. Today, choose one area of life in which to be brave, and be proud of it!
As you sit in your Sukkah this holiday, I invite you to focus on not just these women, but the women in your community – including yourself – who are changing the world with small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. Women who are brave in the face of danger, who stay up all night with a sick child, who are fighting illness and adversity. I invite you to celebrate the strength of Jewish women this holiday.
(Inspired by Maharal, Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsh, Nir Manosi's book מי זאת עולה, and a bunch of ideas from her book Two Sisters, One Soul: The Secret of Rachel and Leah.)
Avital Gastwirth’s love for learning Torah began at an early age and has never wavered. She teaches at Ulpanat Orly. Avital has a degree in Tanach and Israel studies, is certified through Machon Puah as a health and halacha counselor, and is a yoetzet halacha verefuah and kallah teacher, and author of the book "Two Sisters, One Soul: The Secret of Rachel and Leah" available on Amazon and Jewish bookstores. She lives with her family in Maaleh Chever.
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This article originally appeared in Her Tribe Magazine Elu/Tishrei 5786.
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