You're listening to the Heal With Affirmations Podcast and this is Episode 11, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better!
Welcome back to the podcast. If this is your first time listening on, I am delighted we found each other. The affirmations work definitely does not get the credit it deserves, but I sure hope you will find out for yourself from taking up some of the ideas we cover in this podcast.
I want to suggest that you listen to the episodes in their order, or at least tune into some of the earlier ones. That's because there are foundational ideas that we build on as we progress with the affirmations work. And be sure to download your free guide so you can get started right away with your practice.
In this episode, I want to address a pretty common experience that happens when we start doing affirmations, or we start a new round of affirmations. And that is that things seem to get worse before they get better.
Now when we're first getting started with the practice, we don't necessarily know that they will get better but we do experience things going wrong a little or getting out of hand in some ways.
So let's spend a bit of time on this interesting phenomenon and explore it from a few different angles.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN THINGS GET WORSE
As each of us is unique, there are pretty much infinite possibilities for how things get worse before they get better. But here are a few examples.
You affirm for prosperity or more money, but then you lose some money or something else, or something gets taken away or taken back from you, or you could also lose your spot at an event, and things like that.
You affirm for relationships but then you get into an argument with someone, you get disappointed in someone, someone lets you down, cancels on you, and things like that.
You affirm for home improvements and things start breaking down, repairs get expensive, or you feel you dislike some things about your space.
You affirm for getting a new item and things get in the way, you don’t get it, you don’t get what you want, or you lose something, and so on.
Do any of these examples resonate with your experiences? What are some of the it-gets-worse annoyances that came your way when you started doing your affirmations? I always love to hear of the multitude of experiences that people experience.
When authors describe this phenomenon, and I must admit that only a handful of authors appear to be familiar with it, they mention simple and easy examples of this phenomenon like the ones I just did.
But I must tell you that it is possible that some pretty heavy-handed things can happen when you first affirm something. It is certainly my experience, and I have heard from some of you as well and others whom I’ve worked with.
There isn't really a formula that underlies how big or how small these it-gets-worse issues will be.
But it is possible that the deeper the issues behind the desired change that you are affirming for, the bigger the issue that comes up when you first get started with the affirmation. But again there isn’t a formula, so this is not a must.
How things might get worse before they get better is not only unique to you but also to every round of affirmations you do.
Also, it is not always the case that things get worse before they get better, although in my experience, they do.
Personally, I prefer that things get worse before they get better.
I appreciate that this can sound a bit strange, but I am reassured when they do because I know the process would have started. We’ll get into this more in a bit.
WHY DO THINGS GET WORSE?
So why do things get worse when we start doing affirmations?
It is truly quite a curious phenomenon. There isn't a definite explanation for why it happens and any explanation would be just that, an explanation.
But based on the work we do with affirmations and with experience, we can get some interesting insights based on what we go through.
Having firsthand experiences with affirmations and the peculiarities of this work, like it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better episodes, enables us to figure out some things about what is happening behind the scenes.
For one, when things get worse at first, when we’re getting started with affirmations or with a round of affirmations, it signals to us that the process has been put into motion. It is a sign.
And I think it is a really good thing that we get a sign to know that something has started. It is one of the reasons I appreciate that things get worse before they getbetter, even if the issue that comes up is heavy-handed.
I can tell you that it is a sign that the process started because I've done the work before, I have experience with it, and I know that things will turn around. But I appreciate that if you haven't done this work before, you might know that things will turn around, and you could lose faith in doing affirmations.
And really, this is the whole reason why I am talking about this in this episode, so I can tell you that it is part of the process, and I want to encourage you not to lose faith and to stick with your affirmations.
So when we say the process has started, what process is that exactly? Well simply, the process of change that you are wanting and that you are affirming for.
So again, when things get worse before they get better, it is because this process of change has started.
Another reason why things can get worse before they get better is because the process of change could be highlighting what needs to change, and what will change thanks to your affirmations.
That issue or problem that comes up when you get started with your affirmations is, or is part of, what you are trying to change.
It is also possible that you are not aware that this is the issue that needs to change, or is part of what needs to change, so pay attention to when things get worse, because you are being shown the way and your awareness is deepening.
This is another reason why I appreciate it that things get worse before they get better. I like to know what needs to change, or at least what’s part of it.
And a third reason I appreciate this phenomenon, is that I feel that when things get worse before they get better, it probably means that the change that I want is pretty deep. And yes, the reason I am doing affirmations is precisely because I want real and deep changes. I am not looking for a cosmetic adjustment.
As I said, sometimes the problems that come up when things get worse can be pretty serious. They are not always small signs that nudge you kindly to tell you things have started to move. In my experience, they are pretty heavy-handed. But now that I know, I can stick with it, i know what’s on the other side of it.
That's part of the reason why it is very important to be willing to change. Your willingness to change is the faith you have in yourself to pursue this journey of change, when you don’t really know how it will play out.
Your willingness to change is what pulls you through and keeps you on the path of change that you want. As I like to say, keep wanting!
Honestly, doing affirmations is not for people who want cosmetic changes.
The affirmations work comes across as cute and sweet because the affirmations that we use are kind and loving statements.
So to some, it might sound frivolous, and is probably the reason why many people don’t do this work to start with.
But actually, it is the best kept secret of the affirmations work. It sounds cute but it is big work.
Repeating your affirmations will erode the issues that are preventing your good and your positive changes. And most people have no idea how heavy this work can be.
In fact, I suspect that on some level, people know that affirming something so good as a positive affirmation is a leap in consciousness that they are not ready for. And often, those who dismiss affirmations as frivolous and just too cute to be anything real, are often not ready for that kind of change.
But again, I will remind you to leave others alone and to take care of your own patch of the garden. Do your affirmations, turn your life around in the way that you want, and live your best life for the rest of your life.
Pay attention to what is happening when things get worse. What is the issue that came up? Does it reflect a pattern? Is it an issue you've experienced before?
You can probe into this experience a little and you might come out with some pretty interesting insights.
So, so far we suggested that things get worse before they get better so we have a sign that the process has started, so we get some insights into what needs to change, so we get an indication that the change ahead is probably deep.
But another major reason things get worse before they get better is that what is preventing our good needs to be purged. This is usually when things can get pretty dramatic and there is an outpouring of emotions.
The pain, the anger, the sadness, the regret, etc. can all start to come out when things get worse before they get better.
Let me tell you, and I know you might not believe me, but I so look forward to that happening now that I know what is possible with affirmations.
This is 100% part of the healing and what needs to be dissolved in order to manifest your good.
You need to process these things out if you want to manifest your good. Your affirmation process is bringing these things up to the surface for you so you can see them, acknowledge them, deal with, and process them.
The emotional journey is really key. Emotions are such an interesting thing. It is really important for you to experience it all and to be willing to see so you can heal and clear the way for what you say you want.
I definitely know what it can be like, I 100% know how difficult it can be, but I want to encourage you to stick with it. And I want you to be happy with yourself that all this is coming out for you to deal with.
Seriously, you would like to go through life without clearing out all this?
THIS EXPERIENCE APPEARS TO BE UNIVERSAL
A very interesting observation I have made through my practice with all sorts of psycho-spiritual and magical and even occult fields, is that this process of things getting worse before they get better, happens not only with affirmations, but in fact across many different areas, physical and spiritual, where we are trying to create change.
A very common one is in physical detoxification. When someone stops eating unhealthy foods, stops eating meat, dairy, processed food, fried food, etc. and cleans up their diet, it is very common that they become sick with a fever, develop rashes, and experience other reactions.
It is not always possible to predict what kind of reaction someone will have because their history is unique, but in general, when someone stops eating the bad and ugly foods, especially when they do it all in one go, it is very common that they experience reactions and sometimes even scary ones.
Many who are inexperienced with making deep dietary changes, including most doctors and other priests and gurus of the scientific variety, they interpret these reactions to mean that not eating these foods is bad for you. So they get back to eating them.
And indeed, many who try deep dietary changes will get scared from these reactions and think they need to be eating the way they were before. So they drop the attempt to change and revert back to their old ways.
But this is false thinking. We can explain what is happening like this: When you stop eating the bad foods, your cells have breathing room to release the toxins that had been building up in them. These toxins are released into the bloodstream and they circulate for a while until your body completely releases them out. This is what we call detoxification.
It is the same idea as when someone has withdrawal symptoms from a drug addiction. It gets worse before it gets better, and with some drugs it gets much, much worse.
It is also likely that cells release these toxins in batches if you like, and not so much in one go. You can imagine that there is an accumulation of toxins and not all of it can be unloaded at once. And so this adds to the length of time we are in this state of detoxification.
Detoxification is not disease. It is misinterpreted as disease and unfortunately often results in people dropping the change. What a pity that they don’t give themselves enough time to overcome this phase and experience what’s on the other side of it.
Now, I know you will tell me I am not a scientist or a doctor, and I will tell you thank goodness I am not. I do not have much respect for the medical industry, but let me address this point in our episode about using affirmations for health and physical healing down the line.
For now, let us just reiterate what I love to repeat often: Do not outsource to others what you can find out for yourself firsthand.
We know what is happening with detoxification because we can experience it firsthand. And if we give ourselves some time to get through it, we will overcome these challenges and discover the truth about what it means to be healthy.
And it’s the same with affirmations, when we’re first getting started, we could quote-unquote “detox”, sometimes aggressively. But if we give ourselves time to get through it, we could land in a pretty amazing place.
Another area where we can experience this it-gets-worse phenomenon is when decluttering. In the last episode, we focused on decluttering and talked about how you can use this amazing outside-in approach for releasing inner patterns.
Beyond home organization, decluttering is about severing ties with anything that isn’t true to who we are today. When you are able to get rid of the physical things that are associated with these experiences, you would have resolved them and let them go.
We cannot and should not force this to happen, but we must spend the time on the decluttering process and focus on making decisions to let go.
When we declutter, especially when we do it a bit more aggressively, we can experience a tangible energy shift, and this can produce an it-gets-worse episode. It is very much like a detox, and I would say, it is a detox proper.
With decluttering, it-gets-worse experiences can be issues like getting into arguments with other, getting into trouble at work or in our business, expenses might pop up, and other it-gets-worse experiences that are not different we could experience with affirmation.
On a shallower level, the house can get seriously messy when you declutter before it is an order again.
This clearly represents the mess in our mind. But I am always amazed at how these things are symbolic and really not symbolic!
And another area that is closely connected with the decluttering process is with the Feng Shui of a space. We can experience the it-gets-worse phenomenon when applying Feng Shui to a space.
Moving around furniture, applying some cures, and using other Feng Shui techniques, can produce it-gets-worse experiences.
As with decluttering, you could also see this happen in the house in small ways. For example, you could have a light bulb pop, or a printer fail, and other similar oddities and dysfunctions can happen around the home. This is because the energy shifts. Energy is not imaginary, it is real and physical. Feng Shui is really fun when you get to see it in action.
But apart from these little things that pop up as a result of shifting the energy of a space, you could experience it-gets-worse experiences that affect you in deeper ways in your life, and like you would when starting affirmations or decluttering deeply.
So if for example, you improve the Feng Shui for your relationships by doing something in the relationships corner of your home, you could experience challenges with people.
And yet another area where you can experience an it-gets-worse episode is when casting spells. You may or may not believe in casting spells, and I personally am not so inclined to them these days although I have done them very successfully.
Spells operate just like an affirmation. In fact, spells are an affirmation and they literally use incantations, which are affirmations. So when you do a spell, you could experience an it-gets-worse episode.
I will have more to say about spells and magickal practice another time - and I mean magick with a K - but in general, let me say that all they are essentially an affirmation. And I prefer to just do affirmations.
Also, spells don’t work most of the time because you can’t do an affirmation just once and expect to get results. The work is not magical in the superstitious sense, it is practical.
But there are times when spells work and I have my own explanation for that, which as I said, we can get to another time.
Now just to be clear about something. If you deal in black magic and practice dark spells on others, which hopefully you don’t, you will most likely receive what you send out. This is because you always reap what you sow and life is a mirror, as we talked about in a previous episode. So you always get back what you send out.
With a dark spell, you know it is working when you experience a challenge - because you sent out a challenge. So in this sense, it is not the same as experiencing an initial it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better. In this case, it is more like a confirmation that your spell worked - because it boomeranged back to you. So maybe you should be happy!
Of course, I’m kidding. Don’t be bad!
Do I believe that you can hex someone? Not really, not without their permission. But let’s leave magick for another day.
So to recap, experiencing an episode of it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better episode is not limited to the affirmations practice, but applies in just about any area where we set an intention to create change. I gave you four examples: physical detox, decluttering, Feng Shui practice, and spell casting.
Are there other areas where you have experienced an it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better experience? Please let me know, I would love to hear all about it.
DON'T GET DISCOURAGED
When you start doing affirmations and you get the it-gets-worse experience, the issues that come up can be light or they can be big. In my own experiences with doing affirmations, the issues that come up are big deals, and can be really heavy-handed.
At this point, you might feel overwhelmed and wonder why all this is happening. I certainly understand where you’re coming from.
You might wonder if something is wrong with doing affirmations. But remember that all you are doing is saying positive things to yourself. How could your affirmations do any harm?
Normally, we don’t doubt the good that affirmations can do for us, instead, we get overwhelmed with the issues that come up as the process begins, so we forget to think and speak positively.
And so we could get upset and distracted by the issues to the point that we fall out of doing affirmations. We lose inspiration, really.
But I want to encourage you not to fall out of your practice, especially at this critical juncture. This is a turning point and it could be quite painful, but you really need to burn through it to get to the other side of it.
Think of it as a detoxification. You can also see it as a bottleneck, and you’re squeezing yourself out. Do you want to drop out and stay at the bottom inside the bottle? What you're doing is very important.
You know you are on your way to making deep changes because these are not average experiences. They are exceptional phenomena and you are experiencing something really special. Don't miss out on the opportunity to make real and lasting changes in your life.
It also gets easier with time, so hang in there.
This said, I also want you to keep in mind that when you’re on the other side of the initial it-get-worse experience, you’re still at the beginning of your affirmations process. You will not immediately manifest the essence of your affirmation. It needs a bit more time.
You won’t be in the it-gets-worse state forever, but you won’t be your desired state right away either.
Consistency is key with affirmations. This is true of anything that you want to succeed at in fact. Without consistency you cannot achieve your desired results.
And remember that when you repeat affirmations, you need that critical mass of positive and new affirmations to overwhelm the long standing negative affirmations and replace them.
It does take a bit of time and practice, and there is quite a bit more to go through before your new affirmation replaces the old pattern and becomes integrated into your consciousness.
I do not want to discourage you, but I do want to share with you what I know about this amazing practice, so you can stick with it and reap its incredible benefits.
Your process is unique to you and if you want to discover it, you have to do the work and stick with your affirmations.
I am being honest about this because I think many authors in this field are not. Many authors keep it light when in truth, most of the time it is not. So I want to be real with you, because I know firsthand that real results are 100% possible.
I also do not want you to indulge in superstitious thinking. It is not a good idea to expect miracles and to think of doing affirmations as waving a magic wand. It is not.
Superstitious thinking is a serious disadvantage, and doing affirmations can very much help you see past the many veils that pass for spirituality and things like that, when they are not. They are dreamy states of wishful thinking.
Affirmations are very powerful because they don’t assume any belief in anything supernatural. They are simply about reprogramming your mind, and what happens then is for you to discover.
But the process of change has to unfold and you need to keep repeating your affirmations to see it happen. This said, with consistency and practice, you will experience the magic, the real magic.
Another consideration that comes up at the point when you experience the it-gets-worse phenomenon, is that you might want to change your affirmation.
There are times when it makes sense to move to another affirmation, and we are often guided to do so, but it is not at this stage. Even if you’re inclined to change your affirmation and you think it is your intuition speaking, I would encourage you not to change it.
When you experience the it-gets-worse phenomenon, you would have kicked off the process of change for this affirmation cycle. You are just at the beginning of the process. So it is too early to change your affirmation.
If you do, you won’t get to the bottom of it, and you won’t manifest the essence of your affirmation. You will focus on something else and you will veer away from the essence of the current affirmation.
And also, every time you start a new affirmation, things can get worse before they get better. So if you jump from affirmation to affirmation, you will keep getting it-gets-worse experiences and you won’t ever get to experience the it-gets-better part.
So be patient. The goal is very much to overcome these issues that come up and discover what's on the other side of all this.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THESE EXPERIENCES
Apart from the general advice of telling you to stick with your affirmations, I want to offer you some more thoughts for dealing with these sticky times when the process shakes you up.
For starters, you can try dealing with your affirmations as a mechanical practice. Yes, putting heart and positive emotions into your affirmations as you speak them and repeat them is ideal.
But when you’re turned off by the issues that come up, then you might not be able to put your heart into it. But still, repeating your affirmations, even if mechanically, is better than not doing them at all.
And for those times when you’re not feeling good about it all, treat your affirmations practice like having to brush your teeth and doing routine things like that. Give yourself 5 to 10 minutes, morning and evening for example, and sit down and repeat them and get them done.
I can tell you, you won’t always feel detached from your affirmations because they do have a way of engaging your heart and emotions, and naturally, this is one of the goals. But again, if you’re feeling disengaged, doing them is better than not doing them at all. So try to be as consistent as possible.
At the same time, be gentle with yourself. Don’t hate on yourself for any reason. Just commit to doing your affirmations and give yourself a bit of time to do them.
Soon enough this sticky phase will pass, and you will feel a lot more enthusiastic about your affirmations and your process, especially as your mindset changes and you begin to attract your good.
At that point you will be very happy with yourself for doing this, and you will wonder why you spent so many years of your life not doing affirmations!
Something else you can do to help you through this it-gets-worse phase, is to add a general affirmation to the one you’re focusing on.
So for example, in addition to whatever affirmation you’re doing, you could affirm that you’re willing to change, you’re willing to let go, and that you love yourself, and similar affirmations that involve change, release, and forgiveness.
So here are a few of them, and some of them we’ve been through in previous episodes. And really, these are great affirmations for any time you are stuck and don’t know what to affirm or how to cope:
I am willing to change.
I am willing to forgive.
I let go.
I trust the process of life.
Everything happens in the perfect time and space.
The perfect scenario now comes to pass. I am safe and free.
You can use any of these affirmations, or any one you come up with to help keep you still as you go through this phase. Just don’t give up on your affirmations, give yourself a chance to discover this process.
Keep repeating your affirmations until you get to the bottom of your issue. You will in time, and you will know when it happens.
Let’s close this episode, but I do have a final thought for you.
As you experience this turbulence, stop and ask yourself, where am I?
Where am I? I love this question. I love asking myself, where am I?
This is the present moment. This is where it all happens.
Isn’t it great? This is so worth it. I am so glad I am here. I am so glad you are here with me, and I sure hope you feel this way too.