Hello and welcome back to the Heal With Affirmations Podcast.
In this second episode, I want to tell you about the importance of the willingness to change, and how it is a key ingredient in practicing affirmations. If you didn’t listen to the first episode, then I suggest you pause this one and listen to it first.
These first few episodes are foundational to the affirmations practice, so it makes sense to listen to them in order.
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE
Let’s recap briefly how to start an affirmations practice. It’s pretty easy, really. You just choose an affirmation and you repeat it often. The more you repeat it, the quicker you will see results in your life and the deeper they will be. Being consistent is a very important factor for manifesting your affirmation.
But as you choose an affirmation and begin your practice, something deeper is happening. And that is the willingness to change. I want to focus on this in this episode.
When you start an affirmations practice, your willingness to change is activated and it begins to take hold within you.
Your willingness to change is what will get you to start affirming, it is what moves you to take that first step. You might not be conscious of it, but it is there, helping you move forward.
We can even say that when you start doing affirmations you are in effect affirming that you are willing to change. You are willing to give your affirmation a chance, and you are willing to see how your affirmations can change you.
It is not an overt affirmation like words we speak, but the idea and its energy are there, operating in your conscious and subconscious mind. On a deeper level, you are embracing the idea that changing your thoughts can change the results in your life. At the very least, you are giving this ideas a chance.
When you begin your affirmations practice, you are saying that you are willing to affirm the good you say you want. You are willing to think and speak this new thought, and so, you are willing to change your thinking. In effect, you are affirming that you are willing to take charge of your thoughts.
This is very powerful stuff! It is happening in your awareness and at deep levels. And it is a big part of what creates change in your thoughts and in your Life.
So doing affirmations starts with the willingness to change. And this means activating and engaging your psyche and your personal power in a whole new way. You are awakening your will.
Now, when you start practicing an affirmation, you don’t have to think about all this. You just need to repeat your affirmation often and you will experience your mindset shift. But I wish for you to appreciate what kind of doors are opening up for you when you decide to do affirmations. It goes far beyond the words in your affirmation. It taps into your deeper self and activates your personal power.
RESISTANCE TO CHANGE
But often, when we begin doing affirmations, we can feel resistant to the practice. Our resistance to doing affirmations is essentially the same as our resistance to change. It stems out of the same space of resistance.
There are many ways that we might exhibit resistance to change - consciously and unconsciously.
Resistance to change is often expressed as skepticism or ridicule. This is likely the most common way we express resistance. We dismiss affirmations as silly and say or think things like, “What? Repeating a positive thought over and over will change my Life? What kind of nonsense is that?”
People can get very sarcastic if not outright angry at the idea of doing affirmations. Somehow, the simplicity of this process upsets them deeply. More often than not, the more dismissive or the more angry someone is about it, the deeper their wound or their denial.
Another way we might exhibit resistance to doing affirmations is by constantly deferring to an authority like science, religion, or some school of thought to avoid starting. My guru thinks this, and my doctor says that. It’s as though we want some kind of guarantee that affirmations ‘work’ before we try them. But remember that you don’t need any kind of proof to know if affirmations work. You can just try them and find out for yourself. And affirmations are not like taking pills that can have some unwelcome side effects. Remember, real knowledge is firsthand knowledge.
Many experts and gurus themselves have a pretty sarcastic and dismissive attitude toward affirmations. Probably because they think it is simplistic and they want to affirm their sense of self-importance through the complex ideas they studied. And probably because you didn’t get the practice from them!
Like I said in the first episode, the complicated mind is not very good at healing and manifesting. Decomplication is an important part of the process of self-realization.
And deferring to authority and “waiting for science” or needing your guru’s blessing to give you permission to try affirmations for yourself is in fact an affirmation of disempowerment. And along the same lines, when people demand proof that affirmations work, it is also a form of resistance to change.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to see for yourself and know for yourself how your own affirmations can help you.
The best part is that you have nothing to lose by trying affirmations. And I know you have everything to gain. But you will need to discover this for yourself. And your willingness to try is your willingness to change. You have to own this.
All of these attitudes are delay tactics, and delay might be rooted in some deeper nervousness or fear around the prospects of change, and what life could be like without our current problems or patterns.
Another way people might resist affirmations is when they are overly enthusiastic about affirmations and immediately embrace them. I haven’t seen this as often as dismissing affirmations as silly, but it does happen enough that I feel it is worth mentioning.
Such people typically have experience with spiritual practices, and are open to them, but they might also be in denial of deeper issues and mistakenly think that they have long overcome them. In this sense, spiritual and magical practices are a form of escapism.
The truth about doing affirmations and doing the real work of healing is that it does not require rituals, beliefs, or any complicated theory about the laws of life or the universe. And releasing such ideas can be an issue for those who have invested themselves in them.
Believing in some set of ideas is not what heals. What heals is practicing affirmations that change your patterns of thinking.
If you want to know how well your beliefs are serving you, you can simply examine your life experience. Everything in your life is a faithful mirror of what is going inside of you.
By examining our issues, we can see what kind of work we need to do on the inside. This is not a magical approach and does not require any impressive scientific theories or spiritual beliefs. It is plain and simple, and this simplicity can upset some people because they want to escape into some spiritual universe.
Just like scientists who are over-invested in their PhD titles, people who like spiritual topics, religion, magic, and mythology, can get uncomfortable with how plain and direct the affirmations practice is, and how it does not require any belief in anything supernatural.
Doing affirmations pierces through all these veils and helps decomplicate the mind. It is the decomplicated mind that is able to see clearly, because there is nothing between the witness and the object.
So these are a few ways we might resist starting an affirmations practice. But there are many more because we are each unique and have our own story to unravel. I just highlighted some of the more common forms of resistance.
No matter what your resistance looks like, know that you are not alone. Resistance to starting affirmations and more generally resistance to change, are common experiences when starting out with this practice. The idea of repeating affirmations to change our mind and our life can seem odd and can challenge us in more than one way.
But overcoming this resistance is important if you want to discover what affirmations can do for you. And moving past resistance is part of the process. So be patient with yourself as you begin your practice.
As you ease up about doing affirmations, you are in effect easing up about being willing to change. You are softening up to the possibility that your life can be different. And this is a big step!
People who are open to change tend to be experimental. They have a playful attitude that says: “Let’s try and find out!” If you’re resistant and working through your resistance, you are in effect teaching yourself to be more open to possibilities.
And you too can be playful with affirmations. You don’t have to overthink anything. You don’t have to wait for proof that affirmations work. You can just open your mouth and say a positive affirmation a few times. And then you can try it again. And then you can do it more often, and before you know it, you will be comfortable with repeating an affirmation over and over.
I’ll say this often: Real knowledge is firsthand knowledge, and your own experience with affirmations is key. In fact, it’s everything, because no one can do your affirmations for you.
I would think that if you are listening to this podcast, then you are willing to change. People who want to change and deepen their life experience tend to attract these kinds of ideas into their lives.
People who don’t care about this kind of work won’t bother with a practice like affirmations, and aren’t likely to spend any time listening to this podcast. And that is just fine.
LEAVE OTHERS ALONE
So on this note, what do you do about people who are not willing to change?
My answer is: Nothing at all.
When you discover affirmations, and really, when you discover any great idea, you want to share it with everyone you know.
But the truth is that if someone is not ready or is not interested, then your wonderful words of encouragement land on deaf ears.
When someone is willing to change, they look for the information, the search for resources, and they seek out the inspiration they need to help them make that change. They will attract the people, places, things, and ideas that will help them change.
And all this can happen without them even knowing that they’re attracting solutions for the change they want to manifest. The law is at work whether you know there is a law or not. And that is just fine.
But when people are closed off to change or aren’t ready, then they won’t attract solutions and they won’t genuinely understand what you’re telling them. That great idea, whether it’s affirmations or something else, won’t land on them in the way that it landed on you.
If they’re a close friend of yours, they might hear you out for a bit to be nice to you, but if you overdo it, they might start to get a little annoyed with you and might either tell you or start avoiding you more often. A drift can start to happen.
A bigger way some people try to get others to change is that they feel they need to save them from their misery. This is a formula for problems.
First, it will probably mess up your relationship with them. And second, I find that it can invite abuse in some way or another. Why? Because when you try to change someone, you basically try to take charge of their choices. If they go with your plan to change them, they are giving their power away to you, and resentment starts to build up. And when things mess up and results are disappointing, they will blame you.
So this whole strategy is built on the wrong foundation to start with: You cannot control what people do, you cannot think for them, and you cannot make their choices for them.
So when you try to get others to change, it doesn’t work. When people want to change, they take the initiative. This initiative is one and the same as the willingness to change.
When it comes to affirmations this is critically important: You cannot affirm for someone else. Others cannot affirm for you. Only you can affirm for the results you want in your life. This isn’t a theoretical rule, it is just that affirmations only work for the person doing the affirmations.
You are welcome to try affirming for someone else and see what happens. Please let me know!
Having firsthand experience with affirmations is what will give you a real and concrete understanding of why you cannot change others and why you cannot affirm for someone else. Because you do not live in someone else’s mind.
And when you become so aware of how your life is the product of your thought patterns, you will see very clearly why people are where they are. You will grow in wisdom and you will leave people alone and instead tend to your own garden.
I invite you to begin your practice, so you see how it all works.
WHAT THE WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE DOES FOR YOU
Like I said in the first episode, and I want to repeat it again: I am not here to convert you to doing affirmations or to convince you of what they can do for you.
With affirmations, you are entirely responsible for your practice. It is up to you to be willing to change and to embrace your affirmations. It is up to you what you want to affirm. And it is up to you to stick with your affirmations long enough to see results for yourself.
It is no one’s responsibility to ensure that your affirmations work. Doing affirmations is not like getting furniture installed. And no one owes you a guarantee.
So, let’s talk a little about what the willingness to change does for your affirmations practice, and really, for you and your life.
Here’s how I like to articulate it:
Your willingness to change is the seed that grows into the structure that can handle the change that you want to see in your life.
Okay? Let me repeat that:
Your willingness to change is the seed that grows into the structure that can handle the change you want to see in your life.
In other words, your willingness to change is the foundation for the change you say you want. So if you’re not willing to change, then you are probably not ready to receive the manifestation of your affirmations.
That's another reason why trying to make someone change is not really possible, and can actually scare them and cause them a lot of anxiety - because they don't have that foundation. In a way, you would be trying to force them into something they can’t handle and that is not very kind.
This isn’t to say that we are fully ready for change by the time we start doing affirmations. That would be incorrect. Repeating affirmations is what drives the process of change, but we have to be willing to take the first step before we can travel the whole path, right?
People know deep down that change is more than just receiving something - it is about becoming that person who can receive. And they might not be totally ready for that yet. That's why it can take some time before someone is ready to do affirmations. They’re building themselves up to handle the change.
But when they are ready to change, they would have overcome some of their resistance points, and would have a more open attitude toward doing affirmations. These small steps begin unlocking their potential for change and their ability to heal. From there, the practice can take hold and the process of change can unfold. And in time, the full manifestation materializes.
HOW TO CHANGE
Now, when we want to change, we often get stuck with not knowing how to change, or what we need to do in order to change. We know that change needs to happen, but we don’t know where to start. We can’t pinpoint a specific area. We might even be unwilling to change although we know that we need to in some way.
This makes us nervous and keeps us stuck.
But the truth is that the willingness to change is not an action we take. The willingness to change is an inner state of mind. It is a wanting. A desire.
Here is my suggestion, and I like to say this often: Keep wanting.
You might not know what to do, but just keep wanting. Keep desiring.
Your desire is an affirmation that will eventually attract the change you want to see. But often it doesn't because there is a lot of resistance in the way. So it’s better to articulate your desire into an affirmation, and take the initiative to repeat it often. This way your desire is expressed clearly and with sharp intent. And communicating clearly with the Universe enables it to respond to you in better alignment with what you want.
That's why affirmations are so powerful. You may not know what to do, and everything could be shambles in your life, but you can open your mouth and affirm what you want. Your affirmation helps you shift your mindset so you can attract, in manifest form, what you say you want. A pathway opens up, and you will know what steps to take to make things happen.
Again, all experience and practice, no fancy theories.
The beauty of doing affirmations is that they help you act out of alignment. Often, we take actions but they don’t really do anything, or we even regret them. That’s because we have acted out of alignment. I feel that many of us can feel it when we’ve acted out of alignment, and that’s a really good thing actually because it is part of our inner awareness.
But with affirmations, we have an opportunity to act out of alignment. Our affirmations declare our intentions. And as we practice them, our mindset shifts and the kinds of action we are drawn to take feel natural and feel right.
But you can’t expect to know what to do before you give yourself time for your affirmations to work, and this might be a source of frustration for some of us.
We need to begin. We need to start doing our affirmations and give ourselves time for them to create change. Keep affirming and soon enough the manifestation will begin to form and you will know what to do, whether it happens quickly or gradually.
When you overcome this initial resistance, you will flow a lot more with your affirmations. This usually translates into being at ease with repeating your affirmations, enjoying them, enjoying what they sound like, and wanting to do them.
In fact, when you start enjoying your affirmations, it is usually a sign that you have dissolved your initial resistance to the practice and you are opening up to what's to come.
So, starting affirmations takes a leap of faith, because you don't really know if, how, and when your affirmation will materialize.
Being willing to change is precisely about taking that leap of faith.
But I feel something bigger is going on as well. It’s a leap of faith not only because you’re trying out affirmation, but because you’re opening up to the change that’s to come, and you don’t know what that will be like for you. We know that we can change and that we can change our mind. We’re just a little afraid of it.
At the same time, doing affirmations is completely risk free. You are losing nothing at all by opening your mouth and saying sweet things to yourself. You're not jumping off a cliff, you are embracing self-appreciation.
So beginning affirmations is a leap of faith in the sense that you do not know how your affirmation will materialize, but you have nothing to lose by saying nice things to yourself.
That is why affirmations are a wonderful practice. They are very powerful and involve nothing more than committing yourself to repeating a positive statement often.
AFFIRMING YOUR WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE
So how do we go from being stuck or unwilling to change, to being willing to change.
Well, we do an affirmation. Affirm:
I am willing to change.
This affirmation by Louise Hay is one of the best affirmations you can use.
It is straightforward, if you want change you have to be willing to change. As they say, if you want different, you have to do different, except with affirmations, we would say, if you want different, you have to think different.
Can you open your mouth right now and say “I am willing to change”?
Open your mouth and say:
I am willing to change.
How does it feel? Are you feeling resistant? Are you hating the thought? Or does it sound fun? Focus on how you feel and start developing a direct view of what’s going on inside of you.
When you have no idea what to affirm, when you're stuck and don't know how to move forward, when you don’t know how or what needs to change, affirm: “I am willing to change.”
It is a powerful statement to open up your mind to possibilities. No, you do not know what those possibilities are right now, and in fact, it’s not the point.
The point right now is to loosen up and loosen the stuckness so you can open up to possibilities. You need to prime your consciousness that you can change, that you are willing to change, and that you want to change.
Change is a necessary ingredient for all manifestations, because all things that you want in your life will involve change in one way or another.
And when you are just starting out with affirmations, the willingness to change is powerful because it involves engaging your consciousness in deeper ways and setting yourself up for letting go of all sorts of issues you may be carrying or that may be driving some patterns.
“I am willing to change” is a go-to affirmation you can use to get started when you have no idea how or what needs to change, and you want to get unstuck from whatever state might be holding you back.
Repeat it often. Morning, evening, in the car, when you’re walking, when you’re going about your day, anywhere, anytime, whenever you remember it.
Keep in mind that it is more effective to speak an affirmation out loud than to think it silently. So when I say open your mouth and repeat tour affirmation, I mean it. At the same time, thinking a positive affirmation is better than thinking a negative thought, so work on focusing your mind. But again, speak it out loud whenever you can.
And the most powerful way to do an affirmation is to say it out loud in front of the mirror.
When you look at yourself in the mirror you are making a very powerful connection with yourself. You are cutting through all the go-betweens and getting to the heart of you.
Say out loud “I am willing to change.” Can you say it out loud in front of a mirror? Why not go ahead and try it right now?
I encourage you to make an effort to practice these affirmations out loud and in front of the mirror whenever you can. Find out for yourself what this can do for you.
Your willingness to change is the master key to unlocking your potential.
Start affirming today, don’t waste time, your time in this life is precious, and I sincerely wish for you not to go through without discovering the gifts of doing affirmations.
Let's say it again, I am willing to change. And again, I am willing to change.
Now, take it away, my friend.
Let’s close this episode. Reach out to let me know how your affirmations are coming along. Until next time, know that you are unconditionally worthy of the best that Life has to offer.