Welcome back to the podcast, I’m delighted that you’re sticking with me through these episodes, as we cover some foundational concepts that guide the affirmations practice.
If this is your first time tuning in, welcome! I’m happy we found each other. I want to suggest that you listen to the episodes from the earliest to latest, because they build up from the introduction onwards.
So far, we’ve covered quite a bit. We talked about what affirmations are, what it means to do affirmations, the willingness to change and how key it is to the whole practice, forgiveness and what it really means, and most recently, loving the self and its many gifts.
At this point, we have a lot of material to work with, so we can go ahead and work through a session where you might like to examine an issue you’re facing, and use affirmations to improve or change it.
Affirmations are an amazing tool to help you solve your problems, resolve issues, and attract the things you want in life. Solving a problem and attracting something often go hand in hand because there is usually a problem that stands in the way of us getting what we say we want.
And now that you've listened to the first few episodes of this podcast, you've got quite a few tools to help you look at your life a little differently, go within to source the issue you're looking at, and use affirmations to begin shifting your consciousness.
RECAPPING KEY CONCEPTS
Let's first recap a few ideas, and then we'll get into an easy step by step process to help you solve an issue and attract an outcome that you want with the help of affirmations.
For starters, what is an affirmation? Broadly speaking, an affirmation is anything we say or do, but when we are practicing affirmations, we typically mean a positive statement that expresses something that we want. And practicing affirmations means repeating that statement over and over until our mindset shifts.
Another important point to keep in mind is that when we are first starting with affirmations we are often guided toward clearing issues that hold us back from manifesting the good we want. This usually involves forgiveness work and releasing the past, especially if we haven't done this work before.
So for example, say you are affirming for a new job but you haven't cleared past issues yet. You repeat your positive job affirmations, but in all probability you won’t manifest your job goals from the get go.
Instead, a deeper issue will likely come up which often manifests as more problems and obstacles. This deeper issue is what is preventing you from manifesting your job and other goals. So what is happening is that the process is guiding your attention to resolve and release this issue first, before you turn to job and other affirmations.
This can be frustrating and painful, but it is a necessary process so you can get the negative pattern out of the way. It is also a wonderful opportunity because otherwise, you might have not known of this issue.
From there, you will be able to attract your job goals, unless of course there is more stuff that comes up! Which I must tell you, is a real possibility.
Doing affirmations can lead you to a great purge, and it can be pretty challenging. Though I would love to convince you of how precious it is, I won’t try! You are free to find out for yourself.
You can think of forgiveness and releasing the patterns and past issues, as the process of tilling the soil of your mind, so that the seeds you plant in it can take root and grow. In our example, that seed is your affirmation for your job goals, and the deeper issue that came up is part of the soil that needs to be tilled and cleared.
Now, working through a single issue like in our example is not going to till all of the soil of your mind and consciousness. For most of us there are a few big issues from the past that need to be released and then some tidbits here and there.
That's why at first, when you get started with affirmations, it can sometimes feel like you've opened the floodgates of your past and you could feel overwhelmed by all the emotions and issues that come up.
Your process is unique though, and it depends on how you go about your affirmations. But if you go through something like this early on or at any time in your practice, I wish for you to hang on because it is a precious process and a golden opportunity to come to terms with the past, unearth important patterns at play in your life, and release yourself from them once and for all. You deserve to forgive and to be free, and you can forgive and be free.
Another key point with affirmations is that many of our issues come from our childhood which is deeply connected to our relationship with our parents. We typically have a lot of forgiveness work in relation to our parents, and this too can be challenging. In fact, it is probably one of the most challenging parts, but certainly one of the most critical.
And one last point I want to recap before we get into our affirmations session, is that your primary goal is to love yourself unconditionally.
It is just about impossible to get anything done right if you hate yourself. Loving yourself is the master key to unlocking all the good that you say you want for yourself. It is the anchor and foundation of your life that will enable you to navigate it through all its ups and downs, and with an attitude of success and appreciation. You will be with yourself until the day you leave the planet. You are the best friend you can find for yourself.
So with this said, let's get into how you might use affirmations to solve a problem you are facing.
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
The first step is to appreciate what the problem is. It might seem obvious, but more often than not, we can't really put a finger on what the problem is exactly.
In my divination practice with Lenormand's cards, I teach that half the answer is in the asking. What exactly are we looking to receive from a reading? Sometimes, the question we are asking is not really the question. There is a deeper issue, and a reading is far more effective when we deal with that underlying issue directly.
Similarly, when we examine a problem we have, it can take on a slightly different nuance when we sit down to think about what the real problem is.
So the first step is not only to point at the problem, but to get a deeper sense of what it's really about.
This by itself opens up our awareness about how we really feel about the issue, and it also highlights other thoughts and feelings that are related to it.
When you are willing to squarely look at things in your life, your perception changes. You won't be reactive anymore, you won't fear what you see, and you will be willing to be honest about what you're seeing. You will also be able to develop some curiosity about it all, and you will have a calm mindset that is looking into the issues with an investigative and inquisitive attitude.
Of course I appreciate that this doesn’t happen overnight. But with practice, you will be more interested in understanding the patterns of your life in a more objective way, instead of feeling overwhelmed by them and blaming yourself for them. You will become more focused on the constructive ways to resolve your issues and you will be at peace with the process.
So what is the problem?
How about taking a few minutes to sit down and really think about it. How does it make you feel? Who are the people who come up? How do they make you feel? Is there someone you feel is to blame for the problem? Or are you blaming yourself more? Where did it go wrong? What could have been done differently?
With a deeper picture of what is going on, think about whether this is the first time you have this problem. Is it a recurring issue? Have you had a similar issue before? Do you feel you have the same problem over and over? Have you felt the same way about this issue before? Have you felt the same way about yourself before? If so, think about all the instances when this issue came up. Do they have a common thread? And how were they different?
Get into this landscape and think about all this, and take some notes because it is always helpful to articulate things out of your mind.
What we've done so far is examine the present problem and then examine if and how it is a pattern in your life.
Now, we can look into how far back the issue goes and think about where it comes from. It might not be a clear single cause or moment, or it might be. Either way it's okay. What matters is that you are sourcing your issue, you are getting clearer about what initiated this pattern in your life and how it was formed. And all throughout, you are developing your vision, your ability to look at all this with a different kind of awareness.
So what did you find in there? Is there something in your past that might have caused or contributed to your present issue? How do you think the pattern or the issue was formed back then? Did it lock you into a certain attitude? What aspects of these experiences are continuing today? What feelings from back then do you carry into today? How do they play out in the present?
Take the time to really ponder all this and try to see the details as well as the big picture, and how things were woven together into your present situation and who you are today.
Keep a diary handy and by all means, give yourself space to be upset if you feel you need to. Sometimes, looking back can be painful but it is important for your process and you don't want to avoid the insights and awareness that can surface when you give yourself room to go through all this.
Running away from these feelings is pretty common and deeper forms of avoidance can manifest as bigger problems and even physical conditions. I appreciate that it can be hard, but I’m pretty sure it won't kill you and no, there are no monsters in there.
I feel the whole thing is really just about how to handle some emotions, how to see them and accept them as they flow through.
GOING DEEPER
So now that you know what the problem is and you have a sense of where it comes from you can start toying with the idea of whether it needs to continue or if you can move on from the memories, the pain, and the other dynamics that play out with it.
For starters it is very important to realize that the pattern in question and that appears to be behind your present issue has served a purpose. That’s right. I want you to realize that this negative pattern has served a purpose for you on some level.
Think of a defense mechanism. Perhaps you snap at some things or you go overboard in making a point. Being defensive might have protected you in some ways at some point in your life, and you have continued to express this pattern.
Another example is overeating or using some kind of drug. Addictions are useful examples because they're pretty common and they come in many different forms. Still, they have a similar source-pattern for the most part.
Substance use and habit patterns tend to cover up a running away from the self. There are feelings, emotions or experiences that we consciously or subconsciously run away from.
They might be too painful to look at, maybe we feel embarrassed when we think of them, so we get ourselves busy with something like a drug or other behavior. It protects us from painful or uncomfortable feelings. The need for thrill and forms of escapism have a similar dynamic.
Appreciate that these habits are doing something for you on a deeper level. Yes they are unhealthy and can even be destructive, but there is a reason why someone ends up choosing them.
And often, it all boils down to not feeling good enough, so we develop patterns that try to compensate for our perceived shortcomings - or what someone has taught to perceive as a shortcoming.
But when you are willing to look at your feelings or whatever aspect of yourself that you have been avoiding, these protective behaviors and addictions can dissolve.
This is why doing affirmations for self-love and appreciation go a long way in dissolving all sorts of issues and negative patterns. We dissolve the need to protect ourself in these ways because we accept ourself and are there for ourself.
We accept what has come to pass and develop compassion for ourself, as we appreciate that we have done our best in the face of these experiences.
This is just an example and there are many ways patterns form to serve a purpose. The idea is to develop your vision to see how it played out for you.
So with this in mind, can you get a sense of what purpose your pattern may have served? Are you protecting yourself from something? Or are you trying to make a statement of sorts about yourself? Is there an underlying issue that you're trying to compensate for?
Examine your patterns and look a little more deeply into them. The idea is to get a clearer idea about discomfort you are trying to cover up with these patterns, and where they might have come from.
Sometimes they are obvious and sometimes they're more subtle. It helps to look beneath the surface to find out what is really expressing here.
With this insight in hand, you can start thinking about whether you still need this pattern to help you avoid the uncomfortable feelings or thoughts. Is it now past its expiry date and you can let it go? This is why forgiveness work is so important, you release yourself from the patterns.
Affirmations are an easy way to release all this. Yes, painful emotions and memories come up, but all you do really is repeat the positive statement and your unique process unfolds.
Before moving on to the next part of the process, I want to reassure you that it is totally okay if you do not have full visibility into the past or the underlying patterns behind the issues you are wanting to resolve.
As you repeat your affirmations, insights and openings will unfold. And it is possible to simply go straight to dissolving the issue without necessarily seeing it or understanding all of it and how it was formed.
An issue that I see comes up frequently in this kind of work, is that people confuse the ability to see with the ability to heal. They are different.
Seeing what the issue is does not mean that you have healed it.
People might think this is the case with practices like past life regressions and hypnosis type of work. You travel back to a time to see where the issue might have formed, and this supposedly heals it. Not so, and clearly many have attempted these practices without much success. It might happen at times, but not consistently.
We might understand what caused the issue and see it very clearly, but we still need to do the work of replacing the negative pattern with a positive one. And that’s what affirmations do.
So affirmations are not only wonderful to help you poke at the issue to see what is behind it, but they also help you replace the negative pattern because your affirmation is a statement of what you want.
With the affirmations practice, we do all of this digging so that we can choose an affirmation that is well suited with the problem. At the same time, precision is not what matters, and oftentimes, a more general affirmation is a more effective one.
WORKING WITH AFFIRMATIONS TO CREATE CHANGE
So now that we've done some digging and you have a pretty decent idea of the landscape that surrounds your issue, think about what you would like to be, do, or have at this point in your life.
What does it look like to have this issue behind you? What do you want the situation to be now?
This is your basis for choosing an affirmation. Usually, our chosen affirmation expresses the opposite of the issue we want to resolve, and it can be that simple. It will help you attract what you want while dissolving the underlying limitations.
So for example, if your issue is that you do not feel good enough, you might like to affirm something like "I accept myself unconditionally".
If you find that you tend to attract disrespectful people, you can affirm something like "I attract only loving and respectful relationships into my life" or an affirmation like "The people in my life reflect the love I have for myself".
You can choose any affirmation you like to target your issue but it helps to keep it a little broad.
My Workbook covers how to design your affirmation in addition to walking you through the process, and my Affirmations Guide have plenty of affirmations that you can choose or use to come up with your own.
Once you've chosen your affirmation, you need to repeat it often and for a while. I think most people don't reap the rewards of affirmations because they don't repeat them often enough or stick with them long enough. They might think the repetition process is ridiculous or don't really believe that this is worth the trouble.
But this is how affirmations work, by flooding the mind with a positive thought. And again, no one can do your affirmations for you and no one can convince you that this is worth the trouble. It is up to you to give this practice a chance. It is your willingness to change that grows into the structure that can receive your desired manifestation.
Affirmations help you go within and change from within so you can become the person who receives and handles with love and with joy the manifestation that you desire.
So once you're committed to doing your affirmations, and you repeat them often, you will begin to see things turn around, and only you can experience this for yourself.
Remember that real knowledge is firsthand experience and awareness.
When you begin an affirmations practice, it is very usual to first experience challenges. For example, you might be affirming for wonderful relationships, and then you get into an argument with someone. This can be a little frustrating but it's actually a helpful sign that the process has started and the shift is in motion.
But if you don't experience anything challenging when kicking off the process, don’t worry about it either, just stick with your affirmations.
And like I've talked about in more detail in a previous episode, when you're first getting started with affirmations you could be led to do deeper forgiveness work. This is often necessary before manifesting the job or the money or the relationship, because these deeper patterns are in the way.
So go with your process. I understand that the job, the money, or the relationship seem urgent and you may not have patience for the deeper work of forgiving and healing the past.
But doing affirmations are not necessarily a quick fix to your problems, especially when first starting out. And the affirmations work is not shallow work, and it is not about just manifesting nice things in life. It is about healing yourself at deep levels so you become whole in this lifetime.
So commit to your affirmations and don't waste time. Accept that you will face up to resistance, delay tactics, and frustration, but just work through these one day at a time and continue to repeat your affirmations.
All sorts of emotions can come up, and that is fine, in fact it is great because it means you're poking around at your issues and getting them to bring out whatever it is they've held for so long.
And if you want to power up your affirmations, and I mean really take them up there, then I urge you to do your affirmations in front of the mirror.
As we discussed in the previous episode about Loving Yourself, this can be pretty challenging at first. It can be challenging to say nice things to yourself in the mirror, looking at yourself in your eyes, in all honesty and with nothing in between. It is the most direct look into your soul, and so at first it can feel overwhelming or perplexing.
If you can't say "I love you you" to yourself when looking into your eyes in the mirror, then there is work to do. You need to forgive yourself and others and connect with your inner child and with yourself today. You need to deepen your love for yourself. You need to reach into yourself for real, and mirror work is the most powerful way I know of to do this.
But when you're past the resistance and are able to do your loving affirmations in front of the mirror, you would have made great progress. So I encourage you to practice your affirmations in front of a mirror whenever you can.
If you don't know what to affirm even after you've done some soul searching, don't stress about it. There are plenty of affirmations you can choose from and you can just pick up one that feels right and go with it.
My Affirmations Guides cover different areas of life. Choose whichever one you're drawn to, and choose whichever affirmation you resonate with, and just start affirming.
Give your affirmation time. Repeat it often and for several days and weeks. It could take months to release the deeper issues but it is well worth your time.
Take advantage of the time in this life and do your inner work. Affirmations are the most practical and accessible tool I know of to help you heal and change in ways you might have not thought possible.
So here are some affirmations you can do to start with:
I forgive others and I forgive myself. All is well now.
I see my parents as children in need of love and healing. I love them and I have compassion for them.
I love myself exactly as I am right here and right now.
Everyone in my life is a mirror of the love I have for myself.
I give myself all that I need to heal.
I love life.
I know that life is for me.
Everything happens at the perfect time and in the perfect place for me. I trust life.
My life is perfect. It always has been and always will be.
My body is perfect for me. I love and honor the miracle that is my body.
My life is abundant and I am grateful for the constant flow of good in my life.
Remember that an affirmation may not sound true at the moment you choose to repeat it, but that is why you choose it.
So initially, you might have resistance toward the idea that you're affirming and what you’re affirming for because it sounds so untrue.
Working through this resistance is part of healing and the way the law works is that you must affirm it as true for it to become true.
So just keep repeating your affirmations and soon enough your resistance will thin and dissolve, and you will then move into the heart of your affirmations.
True change is unmistakable. You cannot be confused about whether your affirmation has manifested or not. Healing is a tangible release and manifestation is a tangible experience.
This isn't about talking to yourself so you feel better. Doing affirmations is not about giving yourself a pep talk. It is about dissolving old unhelpful patterns and replacing them with ones that support you.
If you are unsure if your affirmation has manifested, then it hasn’t. Keep doing your affirmations, or start another one.
Sometimes your affirmation manifests while you are still affirming it and sometimes it manifests after you've released it. You can release your affirmation before it manifests. You might get a sense that you're done with it. That is fine, let it go. It is personal and depends on your process. Go with your process, but also give your affirmations enough time.
You might also feel like you want to move on to another affirmation. This can mean that your process is taking you deeper. You can think of it as a journey through the landscape of your mind, life, and experience.
It takes some practice to recognize what is unfolding as you do your affirmations, and this helps build your vision. But don’t dwell on this, and just keep doing your affirmations. What needs to be revealed to you will be at the right time. Avoid dwelling on the why’s and how’s and spend more time connecting with your inner and outer journey.
If you're more experienced and have done more forgiveness work which means that the soil of your mind is clearer, then your affirmations might take root faster. You see what is happening more readily, and you can navigate your process skillfully.
I want to leave you with the idea that what you’re doing is very precious. Every experience is unique, so appreciate that you might never go through this moment again. Even if the process is challenging, it is unique and there is so much specialness in it.
I am looking forward to hearing about your journey. Get in touch and let me know how you’re doing.