You're listening to the heal with affirmations podcast and this is episode 7, Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?
Welcome back to the Heal With Affirmations podcast, I hope you're enjoying this journey with me and becoming ever more motivated to practice your affirmations so you can make genuine changes in your life and in a way that aligns with your good.
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In today's episode, I want to talk about the role of actions in the affirmations practice, because it seems that with affirmations we are much more focused on the mind and the words we speak and not so much on our actions.
And you've heard me say a few times before that we do our affirmations so that our actions follow through. In other words, the work is inside out, not outside in.
There is a common saying: Actions speak louder than words.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said often. And like anything else we think or speak, it is an affirmation! There are many other sayings we repeat almost automatically. I’ll dedicate an episode to some of these everyday wisdom quotes - or supposed wisdom - and other sayings so we can look at how they might affect us more closely. If you have any in mind, that you’re wondering how they affect us, then send them to me, write me an email.
But today we’re focusing on the idea that actions speak louder than words.
I want to focus on it, because knowing how powerful our affirmations practice is, and by this I mean positive sentences we repeat to produce a change, we might wonder how true it is that actions speak louder than words, or more generally, we might wonder what is the role of actions in our affirmations practice.
It is also often easier for us to take an action and to change an action than to change our thinking. But in fact, we need to change this around, to make sure that our thoughts are streamlined and supportive, and that our actions are intentional.
You've heard me say that everything we say or do is an affirmation, whether positive or negative. Everything we express is an affirmation, and expressions come in many forms. We think, we speak, we feel, we act, and we respond to the outside world.
So how does it all fit together, for the purpose of our affirmations practice?
We can look at our actions from a few different angles and there are different ways to approach the role of actions in our life and in our affirmations practice. And that’s what I want to focus on in this episode. Let’s articulate a few ways we can look at our actions in this context.
EVERYTHING IS AN AFFIRMATION
First, let's go back to some basics and remind ourselves what affirmations are, so we avoid confusions, because the word “affirmations” can apply to a few things.
In general, everything we say or do is an affirmation. Our intentions and feelings are also affirmations even though they are less tangible than thoughts and actions.
The world around us also expresses affirmations in many different ways. Our homes and immediate surroundings have a big impact on us because they are affirmations in the form of sounds, colors, and activities that we take in in different ways.
But when we talk about doing affirmations, as in when we are practicing affirmations, we mean repeating positive statements that express something that we want.
This does not mean that our actions, our intentions, our feelings, and other forms of expressions, are not affirmations. They are, and they affect our experiences and what we attract in life just like affirmation statements do.
The reason we use positive statements in our affirmations practice is because they are an accessible way to create change in our thinking. It is much harder to access our subconscious mind and the deeper aspects of our mind with hypnosis for example, and I’m not so sure this is very successful, otherwise we would have heard of a lot more healing by now, when sadly, there are many more ailments in the world today.
And as for actions, yes we can change our actions, but this means we need to think of every single action we take in the world, and the question is then well, what guides our actions? How do we decide what actions to take?
Decisions start in the mind. Life starts in the mind. Our actions emanate from our thinking. We are intellectual and spirited beings. We have an inner life no matter how much science has failed and continues to fail to understand it. And language is one of the most powerful tools we have to communicate within and outside ourselves.
So when we change our thinking, the actions pretty much take care of themselves. The idea with repeating affirmations over and over is to reprogram ourselves so that we are genuinely different. This way we don’t have to engineer every single thing we say or do.
Our affirmations become our new nature. We change ourselves from within and can attract the good we say we want.
This isn't to say that we shouldn’t think about our actions. On the contrary, we should. Why? Because they are affirmations and we need to pay attention to what we are affirming and putting out in the word.
But for the purpose of changing ourselves and our mind from within, speaking and repeating positive affirmations is one of the best tools we have, and certainly the best tool I know of.
WHY WOULD ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS?
Now that we’ve clarified what affirmations are in general, versus what it means to practice affirmations, let’s turn our attention to actions.
Why would actions speak louder than words? What do we mean by this exactly?
It seems to me that when we say actions speak louder than words, what we really mean is that we say one thing but do another, often the opposite of what we said. It means that the actions do not align with the things that were said. Someone is behaving differently from what we would have expected based on their thoughts and words.
It is also implied that the actions give away the truth, and so the words were a lie.
In other words there is a contradiction between actions and words.
This is important. It is important to focus on our contradictions because they produce mixed results in our life - at best.
But the thing about contradictions is that they also apply to words. We can say that two sentences or thoughts are contradictory. We can have beliefs that are contradictory. We can pretend. And we can even fool ourselves.
So contradictions don't just happen between words and actions. They can happen between two actions, between two thoughts, between actions and thoughts, between two feelings, between feelings and thoughts, feelings and actions, and so on.
In other words, contradictions can happen between any two (or more) affirmations , no matter how these affirmations are expressed.
But because, for the most part, actions are an outward expression of something we believe, when we say that actions speak louder than words, it essentially means that someone has contradictory beliefs which show through their behavior.
Actions are important, and there are actions we can take to support the affirmations we are repeating.
So all in all, it doesn't really matter whether our contradictions are expressed as actions or words or feelings or intentions. What matters most is that we avoid contradictions between our affirmations, no matter how they are expressed, so we don’t produce confusing results in our life.
When we begin practicing positive thoughts to create a change that we want in our life, we become better at examining our thoughts and actions to see if and how they contradict the positive affirmations that we want to see materialize in our life.
Contradictions in our belief system are often what keeps us stuck and prevents our good from materializing.
For example, we cannot attract money if we envy others for their wealth. We cannot attract good relationships if we are constantly critical of people. We cannot attract a good job if we think that the market does not want us or if we feel incompetent. We cannot create independence with a codependent attitude, and so on. The examples are infinite.
When we set out to do affirmations, we come face to face with our contradictions, our inconsistent beliefs and behaviors. And this can be a source of fear for us as we begin to appreciate how deeply our beliefs affect us, and as we question whether our beliefs are genuinely supportive.
Now how these contradictions came to be in us, or their root cause, is a separate story. But as we discussed in the Forgiveness episode, tracing back our experiences helps us see what happened so we understand ourselves better. And in examining our beliefs and contradictions, we get a much better understanding of how we operate and why we have produced these results in our life.
CONFRONTING OUR INCONSISTENCIES
At the outset, we might not know what these contradictory beliefs are, that we have any, and how they produce the mixed results in our life.
But when we begin the affirmations work, our mind begins to change and it begins to see things differently.
We begin to see how our beliefs create our experiences, and we're able to make connections between the events in our life. We see how we gave our power away to all sorts of things and people out there in the world, and we begin to take it back.
When we confront the inconsistencies in our beliefs and behaviors, we are streamlining our thinking, becoming whole, and turning our mind into something solid, instead of keeping it loose, with holes, breaks, and leaks.
We are also cleaning out our minds from baggage and clutter and fears and other issues that we had been carrying around.
A mind whose beliefs are consistent and supportive is a strong mind that is good at attracting positive experiences. Whereas a mind that has inconsistencies is weak, and messy, and tends to be fearful and reactive. It also tends to create a spirit body that leaks energy. This is part of what makes a person vulnerable and open to attracting negative experiences. This is what “invites” problems.
You can think of the strong mind as immunity for the soul. It is an excellent gatekeeper. It keeps the BS away.
In many spiritual practices, and as you know I am the founder of Lenormand Reader, the mind gets a bad wrap. People say that it gets in the way of intuition. I cannot agree with that. You need your mind to make good judgment, and it works in tandem with the heart and the rest of your inner system. But for the whole system to work well, our beliefs and feelings need to be cleared up from the baggage and the inconsistencies that attract poor experiences.
So the idea behind the saying “actions speak louder than words”, at least for our purposes, is about expressing contradictory affirmations, no matter how exactly they are expressed, whether in words or actions or feelings.
ARE ACTIONS MORE IMPORTANT OR MORE POWERFUL THAN WORDS?
So now that we understand this, you might wonder if actions as affirmations are in fact more powerful than affirmations expressed as words.
And similarly, we might ask if feelings are more powerful than words or actions. Of if one form of expression is more potent than other forms.
Although we can't measure such things, my answer to this is simply that it depends on specific thoughts, words, actions or feelings, and how they operate in you.
In some areas, you could have a feeling that is more active than a thought. In another area of your being, you might have an action that is stronger than a feeling, and so on.
For example, a poverty consciousness might not be something that someone is aware of. They might not be aware that they believe in limitations because they were always last growing up. They might not think it or speak it. But you could see that they hang on to every other thing and their home is a cluttered space.
Another example is someone who pretends to be nice but is actually envious of others. Their actions might look like they have good intentions, but when they speak about other people, you can hear the envy through their choice of words.
You can express an affirmation with actions more strongly than you think it, or feel it. Or you can speak an affirmation a lot more than you act it out. It is unique to you.
So back to the question of whether actions speak louder than words, the answer is: Not necessarily. It just depends. And there isn’t a way to measure this stuff, although we can pick up certain intensities in how people think, speak, or act about certain things. This is an inner journey.
So now the question is: When we do affirmations, why do we repeat a positive sentence over and over. Why do we not act it out? The answer is twofold.
First, repeating an affirmation is a very easy way to access your mind and change it deeply. It is much easier than doing things like past life regressions or other kinds of clearings, which are often hit or miss, produce mixed results or none at all, and depend on another person, which has its risks.
Second, trying to decide the right action every time is challenging because you have to figure out what to do every time, and so you’re back to going within like we said. It starts with the mind anyway.
Furthermore, there are a multitude of actions and interactions with the world, and you cannot possibly know all of them ahead as though you can plan them.
People who follow instruction manuals on how to behave often come across as unnatural and can even look silly. You can tell that their actions don't truly reflect how they feel. They are not genuine and their actions don't have integrity.
With affirmations, you change yourself deeply so that your actions take care of themselves. You don't have to think about the actions you should take because they'll come out of you naturally, and will be fitting for the unique circumstances you’re in right now.
Doing affirmations is not about making yourself feel better like giving yourself a pep talk or getting a massage. Doing affirmations is about creating deep changes in your consciousness to release limitations and become a person who attracts good things to herself.
The work is outside in. And it is very much about growing up and taking charge of your mind and your life.
At the same time, it is absolutely important to be aware of how your actions, words, and feelings are contradicting the affirmations you are repeating. All of these are a mirror of what is going within you.
You will have a hard time manifesting friends or love if you are critical of everyone and everything. This is not about loving everyone and being ok with bad behavior in the world. It is about what you focus on and what you are giving your attention to. It is about how your affirmations attract your experiences, and taking charge of this so you can change your experiences for the better.
We cannot attract money if we envy others for their wealth, or if we think money is evil. Negative affirmations about money are abundant. We may think that having money is bad, believe that rich people are crooks, or that having money means we're taking it away from someone else.
The zero sum game mentality is a pretty sure way to feel resentful of what others have because it implies limitations. Of course this is not true. But you'll have to find out by doing your affirmations.
And it isn’t a simple change of opinion that will do the trick. Affirmations go beyond reason, and go far deeper than we initially comprehend when starting on this practice. This is difficult to communicate, and there is no substitute for firsthand experience.
So when we're doing affirmations because we want change for the better, we need to examine what we are doing, thinking, and feeling that contradicts what we say we want. It is not limited to actions, it applies to all of our affirmations no matter how we express them.
What is wonderful is that practicing affirmations itself can help us see our blockages because it awakens us as we begin to change. Our vision improves and we begin to observe ourselves better and with more honesty.
That's also why it's helpful to probe into your issue and look at it from different angles. It helps you highlight other things you think, feel, or do that are in the way of manifesting what you say you want.
And remember that all of it has served a purpose at some point so this isn't about blaming yourself. It is about affirming your good and understanding yourself better so you make changes, attract what you want in life, and remove the unwanted in the process.
With this said, there are two more angles to look at the role of actions on our affirmations practice.
WHY WE CANNOT OFFER ACTION AS A REMEDY
I understand completely that people are looking for the right actions. We interact with people in the world around us all the time. Life is outward and manifest in a very big way, and so actions seem to be everything.
When we face a problem or an obstacle, we ask: What do I do?
Although actions are often needed, they are rarely the starting point.
The starting point is our inner state. We need to decide what to do for the moment, but our issues can be traced back to inner patterns. When we change our patterns we can change the results. Inside out.
That is why guidance focused on outward action without aligning with inner patterns is limited at best. It is also short lived and soon we revert back to the ways that align with the old patterns.
It is like dieting. We make changes in the way we eat and we discipline or force ourselves into different habits. But without releasing the issue behind our eating behavior, we soon revert back to our old ways.
This happens very often as you can probably observe it for yourself. Those who make a real change and forever drop some unhealthy habit, have typically reached for something deeper than just the food part.
When you reach within to change the deeper pattern, your actions have integrity, and they will be in alignment with who you really are. You will be authentic and your actions will be genuine. People around you feel it and they in turn change toward you.
This is an important idea that we will talk about soon enough. In a nutshell, the world around you never changes. Change only happens when you change.
Another reason why we cannot offer outward action as a remedy is because the actions that work for one person may not work for another. Trying to standardize behaviors is essentially a one size fits all guideline that is doomed to failure.
Not only does it often create a lack of authenticity in the person trying to emulate this behavior, but it might not work for the situation at hand.
And this is really why with the affirmations practice we can't offer actions as remedies. The purpose of doing affirmations is to go within and release an issue at the source.
Offering actions is a weak shortcut, and it does not take into consideration your unique circumstances, your preferences, and the way you want to live your life.
I certainly have opinions about what should and shouldn't be done in the world, as everyone does, and I appreciate that actions are also affirmations, but no amount of opinions I or anyone else might have about things in the world can affect what you attract into your world, unless of course you give your power away - a topic we'll get to another time.
The results in your life are the result of the balance of your affirmations. If you are unhappy with the world around you, practice affirmations and see what changes materialize.
When I was in circumstances I didn't want, I practiced affirmations and I was moved out of these circumstances in ways I would have never imagined.
You have nothing to lose by affirming your good and so much to gain. Do not waste time!
Your affirmations respond to you in a unique way, in a way that aligns with your other affirmations, whether you are aware of them or not at this stage, and in a way that aligns with everything else in your life.
We can suggest an affirmation to others because affirmations are general; they capture an essence. Whereas actions are very specific and cannot be determined ahead of time and whether they will be effective for your unique circumstances.
This is also why we don't advise affirming for specifics.
For example, affirming for a specific person when it comes to relationships or for a specific company when wanting a job.This is not a good strategy when doing affirmations.
Apart from the possibility that this person or that company might not be ideal for you, being too specific is also an affirmation of hanging on too tightly and not trusting the universe.
To receive our affirmations we need to let go and trust the universe to deliver in the right way and at the right time. Of course I appreciate that this is not always easy, but it's part of the deal. The sooner you let go, the sooner you can flow with life.
And the idea is that our actions are aligned with the essence of what we want. Sometimes we think we know exactly what we want but often enough we don't.
Now how would I know that?
Well, if you knew what you wanted you probably would have had it by now and wouldn't need an affirmation, right? But when the results in your life are not what you want, then your thoughts and actions and feelings are at odds somewhere.
Do your affirmations so that your mind cleans up from contradictions and you can align with your good and receive it.
AFFIRMATIONS FOR ALIGNING YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS
So let’s wrap up this episode with some affirmations to align our thinking with our actions.
Here are some lovely affirmations you can use right away:
I know what to do.
My thoughts and my actions are one, I am in alignment in every area of my life.
I stand behind myself.
I trust myself and the universe to manifest the good I say I want.
I am guided at every step of the way.
I know that only good is ahead for me.
I release all that is no longer supportive.
It also helps to examine your other affirmations, meaning your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Think about what affirmations you express contradict what you say you want, whether these expressions are thoughts, actions, or feelings.
What is interesting is that sometimes we don't really see that our other affirmations are in contradiction with what we want. But luckily, our affirmations open us up in ways that we begin to see things a little differently. We awaken to our words, our actions, our intentions, and our feelings.
Truly, there is no greater gift than clarity.
And what can also happen is that our affirmations can lead to more affirmations. What happens here is that we affirm for something but then find that our affirmation is not manifesting. Instead, we could face a blockage. This blockage is trying to tell us something. It is pointing us to another thought pattern that is in the way of us receiving our good. We can then turn to an affirmation that tackles the deeper issue or what’s in the way.
And in this way we go down a healing path. That is why our affirmations can take some time to manifest, and we could feel frustrated for a while that we're not getting anywhere with our affirmations.
We tend to experience this mostly at the beginning, when we still didn't do the work of dealing with the bigger issues of our life. Once these are released, it becomes easier to manifest the goodies in life.
I've talked about this more in the episode on Forgiveness. You can think of it as tilling the soil of your mind. Affirmations are like seeds and they cannot take root in bad soil. But once you clear it up, the seeds can take root and grow and bloom into the manifest correspondence of the essence of your affirmation.
Affirm,
I trust the path of my life.
I am guided toward my good at all times.
I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.
And like I've said elsewhere, the real work with affirmations is not quick or shallow. It is not magical or superstitious and does not involve waving a magic wand or rubbing a genie in a lamp or even praying for God to hand you a silver spoon, topics I'll have more to say about later.
The work is about aligning yourself with your good, it is about aligning your actions with your words, bringing your thoughts and feelings and actions into a cohesive whole as much as possible. It is work. It is inner work. But all it takes is that you open your mouth and repeat those affirmations!
Contradictions in affirmations create mixed results at best.
So begin the work of examining your contradictions, in thoughts, feelings, and actions, and see what kind of experiences they are creating for you in your life.
When you clear them up, you will watch the jigsaw puzzle of your life fall into place with clarity you might have not experienced before. It can feel like magic. But real magic.
Okay friend, let’s close this episode and I look forward to hearing from you. Get in touch to let me know how you’re doing. And don’t forget to download your free guide so you’ve got it handy for your affirmations.