Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Heal With Affirmations Podcast.
I recently got some feedback from folks doing their affirmations, and they said they started to run into some challenges and inner upheavals.
These shake ups that happen when you’re first getting started with the practice can be quite heavy handed. But they are a sign that your process is working. They don’t always happen, but in my experience, they happen more often than not.
I will talk about this phenomenon of things getting worse before they get better a little later, but in the meantime, I encourage you not to let go of your affirmations when this happens. It can be discouraging but it is really important that you get to the other side of this. So keep doing your affirmations.
In this episode, I want to build on the previous one about the law of attraction which is also the sowing and reaping law, the law of karma, the law of consequence, or the law of cause and effect. All of these names apply to the same law that drives the phenomena we observe in the world, which is why I like to just call it “the law”.
In that episode, we spent time talking about the dynamics of that law, focusing more on the theory and ideas that we have or can have about it based on our experiences in life and with affirmations. We also talked about how the law affects our free will and what it really means to have free will.
If you’re new to the Podcast, I encourage you to go back to previous episodes because they build on each other.
What we will cover today is an extension and a very helpful application of the law. In my opinion, it is the most helpful tool we have for examining and understanding our life.
But first, let's recap some of the key takeaways from the previous episode.
For starters, the law is not symbolic. It operates on every level, in the physical world, in our interactions with others, with our thoughts, feelings, and all things that appear intangible. It wouldn’t really be a law if it applied in some contexts but not others.
This also means that the law does not have exceptions. We always reap what we sow, every time.
This is where it can get difficult to accept these ideas, but remember that when we’re looking at things in these ways, we are not assuming an ordinary perspective. We are rising above the ordinary and examining life from a deeper understanding.
And this is also where it is better to see the law as literal and not symbolic. We can't really understand how far reaching our thoughts might be if we feel that the law is just an interesting concept to toy with.
When we appreciate that the law operates constantly and across everything, we can look honestly at our life with a lot more depth and begin to connect our experiences back to our thoughts, feelings, and actions. This in turn really drives our awareness home about how much we have contributed to our present day results.
This means that there is no luck, no accidents, and nothing that we did not contribute to. And though this can challenge us in many ways, it is key to unlock our vision and our power, so we begin to turn our life around and create experiences that align better with what we want.
We can call it blame, we can call it responsibility, but at the end of the day it's about creating our experiences by taking control of ourselves as much as possible.
On this note, those who tell you that you need to take responsibility for your actions are the first ones who need to turn around and look at themselves in the mirror. This is your process, don’t catch anyone’s ball, who wants to use these ideas against you in any way. This is also a good opportunity to ask yourself how you have attracted such people into your life.
Fault-finding and playing the blame game keeps us stuck. They’re actually delay tactics from doing the work.
And if you are stuck, then affirm your willingness to change. Go back to the earlier episodes including the one on The Willingness To Change.
Another key concept associated with the law is the notion of free will. Having gone to heaven and hell and back, philosophers and scientists cannot prove or deny our free will. For the purpose of doing affirmations to change our life, it doesn't really matter whether we have proof that free will is real or not.
We can choose to keep it simple. It is clear to us that we make choices everyday all the time. Whether this is just an appearance or not doesn't matter either. And it does not change the facts of our inner experience. We also know that our thoughts and actions have consequences, we just need to refine our vision around these things.
With the law, it appears that we have choice in the sowing part but not so much the reaping part. We control what we give out, but not what we get back. Not directly. We can change what we get by changing what we give out.
So observing the connection between the cause and its effect, and getting better at seeing this connection, helps us choose the first part of the equation better.
I appreciate that we would like the consequences of our thoughts and actions to be different. But for one, there are many external factors that play into it and that we cannot control. And in another sense, we do not want consequences to be random, otherwise the law becomes useless and we cannot use it to get what we want.
If consequences of an action are random, then there isn't a real connection between an action and its consequence, and if that's the case then we can't reap what we sow. How would we then manifest what we want?
The law is to our advantage. Embrace the game of life. Affirm:
Life supports me. I know that life is for me.
The idea is not that we don't want thoughts and actions to have consequences. Rather, we want to better understand the connection between our affirmations and their consequences so we have better control over what we think and do.
Doing affirmations helps us open our vision to the connections between our thoughts and actions and the results in our life.
So by looking at the results in our life, we can get an idea of what we gave out. What we reap tells us what we sowed.
This is what it means for life to be a mirror.
LIFE IS A MIRROR
The idea that life is a mirror is one of the most powerful tools and concepts that we have at our disposal to understand ourselves and our life, and to make changes in ways that align with what we say we want.
What does it mean to say that life is a mirror?
The ancient saying is “As above, so below.” But I suggest it is more accurate to say, “As within, so without.”
The idea that life is a mirror means that everything happening in our life is a reflection of something we are, are doing, or are expressing in some form or other, whether it is through words, thoughts, actions, or feelings.
In other words, everything in our life is a reflection of our affirmations.
Our successes, our failures, our relationships, interactions, everyday all the time, reflect our affirmations, or some of our affirmations, in some way or other.
With this idea comes the question: Is everything really a mirror? Every single aspect of our life is a mirror? Does this include the economy, politics, the climate?
This goes back to the idea of whether the law has any exceptions. If you accept that the law does not have exceptions, then yes, everything in our life is mirroring something that we put out.
What exists in your experience is the result of something you put out at some point. In other words, if it is in your experience, then you attracted it somehow.
The law is not symbolic or distant, or something happening somewhere far away from you in the universe. It permeates everything in existence, near or far.
The idea is that you practice affirmations to see this in your own life and to take advantage of it.
But also, not everything in your life is an issue that needs to be changed or improved. It is often the big issues that stand out and that you can turn around - if you want to, of course.
Relationship issues, work issues, money issues, health challenges, etc. are the key areas most of us look at.
The more quote-unquote “distant” things in your environment, like the political climate and the economy are not issues unless they're issues for you in a specific way. You don't have to worry about what you're not worried about.
This doesn't mean that you didn't attract them, you did on some level and you continue to. It just means that they’re not a problem and you’re better off focusing on the more important things in your life.
And with the idea that life is mirror, you have a powerful tool at your disposal. Everything is showing you something about you. The question is what.
Let’s look at some areas in our life that hold up the mirror to us, starting with relationships.
RELATIONSHIPS
There is no question that our relationships with others appear to be some of the most challenging interactions we have in life.
Yes, we can say everything in our life is a relationship. You have a relationship with this podcast right now, and you have a relationship with your stuff.
But here we are specifically talking about people. People are different in a way because they have agency as much as we do. They attract their experiences in the same way that we do.
Of course, not everyone is aware of the law in operation, or is even interested in doing this work. But we are all always attracting our experiences whether we like it or not, whether we know it or not.
And so two people attract each other into their experiences.
This is tricky because we think that relationships are half me half you, or 50-50. There are popular affirmations that fly around this concept. We say things like “my other half”, or worse, “my better half”.
Appreciate that you are affirming that you are a half person. It sounds cute, but the subconscious mind does not have a sense of humor. It takes things literally.
This idea that relationships are half-half is false. It is not 50% me and 50% you, so we add up to 100%.
Relationships are more like 200%. 100% me and 100% you.
Now of course, this is silly math applied to an area where math doesn't apply. It's just a metaphor to talk about how two people make up one relationship.
When there is a problem between two people, they are usually looking to blame each other. They’re looking for who caused the problem, who caused what part, or who mostly caused it.
And I’m sure you understand that we're not talking about simple tasks or behaviors like breaking something. We're talking about experiences between people, thoughts and feelings and all that psychic stuff that is exchanged between them.
I appreciate that we’re looking for a rational source to explain a problem, but that’s not how it works.
When there is a problem between two people, you can be sure that it is always both of them who contribute to the problem. Always, always both of them.
Based on the law, there is never a time that you do not contribute to your experience. There is never a time that you do not reap what you sow.
In relationships, it is 100% your fault and 100% the other person’s fault.
You attract your experience and they attract theirs. And again I'm not talking about simple tasks, I'm talking about the dynamics of relationship interactions.
You can’t see this with an everyday mentality. The vision needed to understand the connections between your affirmations, beliefs, actions, and the experiences you attract into your life, including the people who are in your life, is not a normal day to day vision. It has depth and wisdom.
You need to develop your vision to see what happened. The goal is that you develop your vision so you can see how you've attracted this person or these people into your life, and the experiences you're having with them.
These days, people are blaming everything on everyone else. It is totally related to the idea that they expect their actions not to have consequences as we discussed in the previous episode.
I recently heard of a supposedly spiritual guy talking about a friend of his. His friend was telling him of all the wrong things his wife is and does to him. And the conclusion of the spiritual guy was that his friend is an enlightened being coming to guide this woman.
This is the degree of delusion that many people are dealing in. This is the victim-hero mentality that is so common these days.
Let me tell you, if you're such an enlightened being you probably wouldn't be here to start with. And if you’re such an enlightened being, then why not attract better experiences for yourself?
People have stories and fairytales about the idea that they come into life to show others the way. But if this is really your path then you wouldn’t be miserable doing it, would you?
These are false and self-defeating beliefs based on delusions of grandeur. They essentially come out of insecurity and the need to feel better or important, and do something important with our life.
I encourage you to come back to earth from these high-flying delusions. There are no saviors who walk this earth.
Your relationships are 100% a manifestation of your affirmations and there is never a time that life does not reflect back to you what you are in some way or other.
Relationships are amazing because when there is a dysfunction, you will often hear someone complaining about the other person. But you can be 100% sure that the person who is complaining is giving out what they are complaining about in some way or other.
So really when people are complaining about each other or hating each other, they are in fact the same, because they are on the same wavelength, disagreeing over the same issue.
It is precisely part of what brings them into this same vortex to start with.
I love observing these dynamics.
When people complain to me about someone else, they can tell that I'm not really buying into their drama. I sympathize but they feel that I’m seeing past this.
Sure enough and soon enough, the person complaining shows through in how they are contributing to the situation. Their own patterns come through and it becomes clear how they have attracted the very things they are complaining about.
I love having this awareness because it helps me consistently ask myself if I am attracting something I do not want, so I am on top of my game.
Rest assured that two people always contribute 100% to the situation. And the victim-savior mentality is a common pattern that attracts scenarios like that guy's situation.
What patterns are at play in your relationships?
People who are enlightened do not try to save others because they would know that people attract their own experiences through their thoughts and actions. You can tell them about the law, how it works, and affirmations, and what they can do to change their experiences, but you cannot think for them.
That is why gurus, priests, scientists, and experts of every kind and variety are a show and a sham, and give the real spiritual work a bad name.
Take your power back from all people, places, and things, and become conscious of how you're attracting your experiences, knowing that you are constantly creating and attracting.
And with this comes the fact that you are neither superior nor inferior to others. We are all in the same boat creating and attracting and becoming conscious of the connections between what we're sowing and reaping.
Relationships are very helpful with this process because they tend to be loud and loaded. Yes, doing the affirmations work around relationships can be very challenging, but they help a lot when we are still discovering this process and need the mirror to be loud and clear.
When we become more refined, more subtle signs and less dramatic events are enough for us to see the connections and make changes.
So with your relationships, sit down and think about a few people. Think about what you like and don't like about them.
And here is a really good tip. The things you like and dislike about them, are also the things you like and dislike about yourself. These are things you have inside yourself in some way or on some level.
Often, when someone really annoys you or gets under your skin, it means your buttons are being pushed. You want to look at this closely. Yes, they are pushing your buttons, but they did not create these buttons.
In time, you will be grateful for these tense experiences because you will appreciate them as a treasure trove of clues and messages to guide you through your work. Otherwise, how would you get in there and dig out the issues and patterns?
Examine what buttons inside of you are being pushed, and begin the process of winding back, like we did in the episode A Practice Session With Affirmations.
And also go over the concepts in the Forgiveness episode so you can move through resentment and release yourself from unhealthy bonds and binds.
Difficult experiences are very valuable because they hold up the mirror clearly. You just need to be willing to see.
What is the mirror showing you? How did you get yourself into this relationship or this situation? What buttons are being pushed? And why? How are you similar to this person? Where in your life do you do the same thing to others? And what would you like your experiences to be?
The other person has the exact same work to do but it is not your job to tell them to do it. And it is not their job to tell you to do your inner work.
When you work on your affirmations or are doing any other inner work, you have to leave people alone. You are not here to save others no matter how much you would like to think of yourself as a savior. People only change when they are ready to change.
Real teachers are students. And no, you cannot pretend to be a student while secretly wanting to be some shining light in the world that people are venerating. It catches up with you, and hubris is around the corner.
Do your own work. Be sincere about it and examine yourself, your relationships, and everything else in your life, with as much clarity and honesty as you can right now.
Your relationships are mirroring some things about you. When there are things you dislike in a person, you also have them. This goes for the good and the bad and the neutral.
It’s just that these things you like or dislike in others do not express through you in exactly the same way. We can expect this because people are unique and have unique circumstances.
But the essence is the same. The essence is the reason we can come together in one experience. This is how affirmations manifest.
So, refine your vision and do some thinking about how you have those traits you like or dislike in the other person. And keep in mind that you might not reflect them back to that same person, but you could express them in other areas of your life or with other people.
So keep an open mind and broaden your search and your vision as you dig into what the mirror of your relationships is holding up for you.
NON-RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCES
It is difficult to pinpoint an area of your life that doesn't involve relationships. They really are the most effective mirror that we have in life because they speak so clearly. And literally people speak to us and we speak to them. What affirmations are being exchanged?
If you're familiar with my work in Lenormand - I will link it in the description - you might know how clearly these divination cards speak because they carry representations and symbols from everyday life.
It must be because of their clarity along with my work in affirmations that got me so engrossed in the Lenormand way. I enjoy clarity. I think it is the greatest gift.
When something speaks clearly, it goes beyond being symbolic. It becomes literal. And people speak to us clearly so we don't have to translate any symbols into plain language.
With other areas of our life, where we don't have people to hold up the mirror to us so mercilessly, we might have to do a bit more digging to see what's going on.
Examples can be money problems. Prosperity can be a big deal for many of us. It is layered and loaded and seems to be connected with our ego and self-worth in very deep and intimate ways, sometimes more than relationships.
Looking at our financial situation can be very telling of inner patterns. It mainly tells of feeling deserving. People who feel deserving tend to attract prosperity, people who don't, tend to stay stuck.
This area also often brings out how we feel about others having money and other good things in life. Envy is a major disadvantage, not only when it comes to money but with everything else.
Prosperity is really not just about money, it is about feeling deserving to have - having money, having time, having happiness, and anything else we desire. Prosperity is really about the openness to receive and feeling deserving.
Mind you, this is not the same as feeling entitled. Entitlement gives your power away by implying that someone else owes you something. It is is a self-defeating attitude, and self-entitled people are never really fulfilled and always dwell in lack.
Other attitudes and patterns we might have and that can get in the way of experiencing our good include mindsets like being critical, critical of this and critical of that. With a critical mindset, it is easy to dig ourselves deeper into everything that is wrong today and every day. It’s just one thing after another.
There is also the attitude of looking for problems, like wanting to lock horns, wanting to prove ourselves, wanting to bring someone else into submission. Insecurity leads to the need to overpower others.
What attitudes and affirmations do you have about things and people that could be bringing you back experiences that you do not want?
When you release a pattern, and I mean really, you operate on a different wavelength and
the things that were on the previous wavelength fall out of your experience.
So look at your experiences and examine what they are telling you. Keep it simple at least at the beginning. Negative experiences means putting out negative energy. And positive experiences means putting out positive energy.
OUR STUFF
Another area that is very helpful with holding up the mirror to us is our stuff and our surroundings.
The things we own and how we keep our spaces are an excellent mirror that is not only telling but is also easy to work with.
Because our stuff and surroundings are physical, we can easily look at them. It is much easier than looking into our souls or trying to understand our psychological patterns.
Going through our stuff and getting rid of things we no longer need and putting things in order is a very powerful process. It popularly goes by the name of decluttering.
I will dedicate an episode to this very important topic very soon, but we need to spend a bit of time on it here because it is a viral part of seeing life as a mirror.
Decluttering has gained a lot of popularity in recent years, but I do not completely agree with all the different approaches it has taken. Decluttering is largely sold as a home organization method.
But this is only the outer manifestation of the process.
Decluttering is really a mind and soul organization process, and if it is going to be done as a means to clear up patterns, then it takes on a whole other dimension.
The vision and rewiring that can be achieved through decluttering are nothing short of astonishing. I strongly encourage you to examine your surroundings and think about what they're telling you about you.
As a mirror, our stuff does not mince words.
Things we hang onto often suggest states of unforgiveness, regret, or missing out on life, or being stuck somewhere back there.
They also tell of our aspirations, our failures, and often indicate that we are falling behind on our goals.
Hanging on can also suggest fear of letting go and moving forward.
But this isn't to say that there is a one-size-fits-all mapping between physical stuff and the inner state of the people who own them, although in my experience, there are some pretty good generalizations that we can make.
Still, we need to look at our individual story and examine what our stuff is telling us about ourselves.
It can be very exciting to get all the unnecessary stuff out of the way so we can focus on what really matters and get going with our life.
I can tell you that decluttering has changed my life in extraordinary ways. Along with affirmations, which healed every ailing I had, I swear by these practical, tangible, down-to-earth, and no-nonsense methods to make real changes in our life.
Decluttering extends to just about everything in our life, including people, places, and unfinished projects.
The decluttering process is deep work into the attachments and connections we make with all sorts of things in our life. Choosing to release people, places, and things, sharpens our decision-making skills in unparalleled ways.
There is a lot of overlap between decluttering and affirmations and that is why I prefer to
bring them under the same umbrella as opposed to placing decluttering under home organization, which honestly, does a poor job of communicating what the decluttering work is really about.
So look at your stuff. What is it telling you?
What things reflect pain and regret? What things reflect unfinished business? What are those things you want to do but are not getting around to do it?
Getting your stuff in order is nothing short of getting your life in order - inside and out.
AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE MIRROR OF LIFE
Everything around you is mirroring something within you. Take the time to observe what the messages are.
This is what you have been giving out.
What are you seeing in the mirror that you like? What are you seeing in the mirror that you don’t like? Then pick up an affirmation and begin to turn the pattern around.
Take advantage of this amazing mirror of life to see clearly and to make changes where you want, and use the amazing tool of affirmations to change your patterns. Affirm your good, and you will get the good you want.
So let’s wrap up this episode with some affirmations you can use to connect with the mirror of your life:
I see clearly.
I love what I see.
I love myself exactly as I am, right here and right now.
Life shows me the way. I trust life.
I see everywhere the love I have for myself.
Everything in my life is a mirror of the love and appreciation that I have for myself.
I am grateful for the mirror of life.
Go within, it is a wonderful journey. Every moment is unique.
And while you’re at it, pick up the mirror and look at yourself and say, “I love you.”
Who is saying this to you? You deserve to say it to yourself!