Love - to love and be loved - is one of the greatest joys of the human life experience.
Unfortunately, it can also go very wrong. You could end up abused, neglected, and
miserable - or worse.
It's important to make wise choices in your relationships so your experiences
with love can bring joy and fulfillment to your life.
Letting your heart rule your head is romantic, but you can keep yourself
emotionally and physically safe by making sure your head is at least involved in the decision-making. When it comes to romantic partners, spotting any red flags that appear will help
you have only healthy, strong relationships.
Another important consideration is your desire for a relationship. What,
specifically, are you searching for? Are you doing the right things and going to the places
that will attract someone who's a good fit for you? Or are you just looking for anyone?
Finding the Right Person Through Understanding Yourself.
When you're looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, there are techniques you can use that will
contribute to your success in finding who you're looking for. The first thing you should do is
to ensure you're ready for the kind of relationship you're looking for.
Here are some ways to prepare for a great relationship:
1. Be comfortable with being alone. Are you content with being on your own? Any
romantic relationship you enter into should be because you care about that person and
yourself. If it's only to avoid being lonely, it's probably not the best choice for
You.
2. Know what you want out of life. When looking for a person to share your life with,
you want one who shares your goals, dreams, and values. Avoid settling for less
because your long-term happiness could be affected - and so could the happiness of
your partner.
3. Stay focused on your goals. Giving up your dreams and desires for someone else
seldom works well. Seek out a person who encourages you to pursue your dreams.
When you've found one, that's someone worth paying attention to!
4. Remember it's not a race. Choosing someone just so you aren't alone is unfair to
both of you. The person you're looking for will appear when the time is right. Avoid
trying to force it. Your time will come when you least expect it! As hard as it may
be, try to be patient.
Relationships Are More Than Just Romance.
Healthy relationships come in all types and sometimes they aren't romantic. The friends you
have, the people you work with, and even the family members you spend the most time
with can all impact how you feel about yourself and your life.
The truth is, intimacy is far more than romance. Intimacy is a closeness of mind, body, and
soul that fulfills all dimensions and needs. So if you're feeling an imbalance or you're feeling
used, confront the other person or get out of the relationship. All intimate relationships
must be mutually beneficial, healthy, and happy.
Choosing relationships wisely can make an important difference in your life. People
who care for you will support and uplift you, rather than drag you down. Surround yourself
with people who support you and share your goals, dreams, and values.
When you avoid harmful relationships, you'll gain a healthy confidence that will benefit
your physical and mental health. Keep these relationship red flags and tips in mind to attract positive, healthy people into your life!
Emotional Intimacy WORKSHEET.
Sex and intimacy are not the same. You can have sex without intimacy, and you can have intimacy
without sex. Ideally, you have both sex and intimacy in your relationship. It is also nice to have intimacy outside the bedroom. Emotional intimacy is an important part of healthy relationships.
Complete the following and bring it to your next session to discuss.
‣ List the things your partner/spouse does to connect with you emotionally.
‣ How do you connect with your partner/spouse emotionally?
‣ What would you like your partner/spouse to do more of to connect emotionally?
‣ Do you and your partner discuss what you like and want for emotional intimacy? If not, why?
Emotional Cheating Fact sheet.
What is Emotional Cheating?
Emotional cheating is an intimacy between two people who are in a committed relationship with other persons; it does not initially include a physical/sexual relationship.
It typically starts innocently, as a friendship that evolves into an emotional closeness with
communication about deeper issues that would usually be reserved for a partner or spouse with whom there has been an expressed commitment.
If a partner is getting what she or he needs emotionally outside of their relationship, then they are less likely to try to work on their original relationship.
How can a relationship be considered cheating if there is no sexual activity taking place?
All human beings need emotional support and communication. This leads us to seek out relationships that will satisfy these needs.
Emotional cheating is a problem when a person gets his/her need to be emotionally close to someone satisfied by a person other than his/her partner or spouse.
When can Emotional Cheating occur?
Emotional cheating often happens when communication has broken down between a couple and the partners or spouses feel starved for attention.
How Can I Avoid Emotional Cheating?
‣ Save emotionally intimate conversations for your partner. If you find yourself turning to your friend for emotional support instead of your partner or spouse, then you are probably going down a dangerous path.
‣ Set rules and expectations for your platonic friendship. Some people believe that men and women cannot have friendships. A man and woman can be friends. However, those in committed relationships should be careful to have firm limits that you and your partner or spouse agree on. Secret texts and calls, or frequent interactions at home are usually a bad sign.
‣ Be careful of online relationships and office relationships. Online relationships are not innocent simply because you are not face-to-face. Office relationships are not automatically protected since you are in a work situation. Your interactions should have strict boundaries and intimate conversations should be avoided. Flirting and innuendo are not appropriate for either party.
‣ Do not discuss intimate details about your committed relationship or complain about your partner to your friend. This only opens the door for discussions that could be harmful. Since emotional cheating often happens when communication has broken down between a couple, both partners are more at risk during times of relationship stress. Work your problems out together.
MORE ON PART 2 HERE.
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