Do you know what boils my blood?
Hospitals with vending machines.
Fast food right outside the door.
Doctors. Nurses. Staff—
snacking on chips, drinking soda, energy drinks…
Right in front of you.
So let me ask you—
Why would they tell you not to eat it…
if they’re eating it themselves?
Let Me Tell You What Just Happened to Me
A few days ago… I almost died.
This isn’t dramatic. This is real.
I had been under-eating nutrients…
then overeating… not chewing properly… anxiety through the roof.
Next thing I know—
I’m on the floor.
Face bleeding.
Gasping for air.
I didn’t even know how I got there.
I was choking on my own vomit after passing out on the way to the bathroom.
I couldn’t breathe.
I could barely speak.
And in that moment… I begged God:
“Please help me breathe. Please help me get up.”
But what was really going through my mind?
My mom.
She’s sick. She’s stuck in this system.
And she doesn’t have many people.
And then I thought about my Aunt Kathy.
She’s gone.
And I couldn’t stop thinking—
I wish I pushed harder. I wish I helped more.
I didn’t want my mom to feel that same pain… of losing me.
And all I could think was—
“God, you gave me a mission. I have to help people… please help me get up.”
And He did.
I got up. I called 911.
They took me to the hospital.
And what I saw there reminded me of everything.
It Didn’t Feel Like a Place of Healing
First thing—
An old man sitting there… on his phone…
Because the two caretakers who brought him in
wouldn’t even talk to him.
Then—
The head nurse… eating chips.
Right next to her—
A sick man on a gurney
gulping down a massive sugary drink
with multiple sandwiches laid out like a last meal.
And everywhere I looked—
“Sick” people…
laying down… eating fast food…
scrolling on their phones… watching TV…
And the hardest part to watch?
People in wheelchairs.
People with oxygen.
People who could barely move—
Having someone open doors for them…
So they could get to the vending machines.
More junk.
More damage.
More of the same cycle that put them there.
Food Affects Everything—But No One’s Talking About It
Mental health. Physical health.
They are directly tied to what you eat.
I know this because I lived it.
When I was a mental health patient—
they restricted sugar and caffeine.
They knew it mattered.
But in the hospital?
When I was recovering from being hit by a truck—
They pushed drugs on me aggressively.
I said no.
Even to aspirin.
What I needed was nutrition.
And it was HARD to get.
I had to ask—over and over—
For real food.
For protein.
For water.
While they offered cake. Pie. Desserts.
Think about that.
You go to a hospital to get healthy—
and you have to fight to get actual healthy food.
They Don’t Practice What They Preach
They tell you:
Eat better.
Sleep more.
Drink water.
Move your body.
But do they?
Or are they:
Overworked
Underslept
Eating fast food
Drinking soda
Running on stress
This isn’t about attacking individuals.
This is about reality.
You cannot guide someone to a place you haven’t gone yourself.
Start Asking Better Questions
Next time you go in—
Don’t just sit there and accept everything.
Ask:
Do you work out?
How do you eat?
How much do you sleep?
Have you taken what you’re prescribing to me?
Not to be disrespectful—
But to be aware.
Because this is your life.
Use Your Brain. Use Your Intuition.
I’m not saying every doctor is bad.
I don’t believe people go into this field wanting to hurt others.
But I am saying this:
You have to think for yourself.
Ask yourself:
“Does this person live what they’re telling me to do?”
And even deeper—
“Does this feel right?”
If something feels off—listen.
Do not ignore that voice.
You Wouldn’t Do This With Your Car… So Why Your Body?
If a mechanic told you something that didn’t make sense—
You’d question it.
You’d get another opinion.
But when it comes to your body?
The most valuable, irreplaceable thing you have—
You hand it over.
No questions.
No pushback.
No awareness.
Why?
Fear?
Doubt?
Not trusting yourself?
I’ve been there.
That’s why this makes me angry.
This Isn’t Judgment—This Is Experience
You might think I’m judging you.
I’m not.
I’m talking to you because I was you.
I made these mistakes.
I trusted blindly.
I ignored my intuition.
I gave my power away.
And it cost me.
Take Your Power Back
You are not helpless.
You are not broken.
And you do not need to blindly follow anyone
who doesn’t even follow their own advice.
Start small.
Pay attention.
Ask questions.
Change what you put into your body.
Demand better.
From others—
and from yourself.
Be the Lighthouse
Here’s the truth I had to accept:
I can’t force anyone to change.
I couldn’t save Kathy.
I can’t control every choice my mom makes.
But I can choose how I live.
I can take care of my body.
I can keep going.
I can stay here—long enough to make an impact.
Because people are watching… whether you realize it or not.
They see how you eat.
How you carry yourself.
How you fight for your life.
And that matters.
One person choosing differently…
can wake someone else up.
You don’t have to save everyone.
But you can be the light that shows them it’s possible.
Because It Matters More Than You Think
Your life depends on it.
But it’s bigger than that.
The way you live…
the way you care for yourself…
the way you show up—
It gives other people permission to do the same.
So live like it matters.
Stand up like it matters.
Take care of yourself like it matters.
Because it does.
Because You Are Worth It
Not when you’re perfect.
Not when you “fix everything.”
Right now.
Demand better—from others and from yourself.
Stay here.
Get stronger.
Keep going.
Be the example.
Be the lighthouse.
Because you are worth it.
But knowing this isn’t enough.
Even when you understand it… it’s still hard.
Real change doesn’t happen in a single choice or a perfect day.
It happens in the small, messy, relentless decisions you make when no one is watching.
In showing up for yourself even when it’s painful.
In choosing nourishment over convenience.
In saying no to what hurts you and yes to what heals you.
So let me be honest with you: it’s hard.
Even for me—sometimes I still make mistakes that cost me, like the one that almost took me out last week.
And that’s exactly why I need to keep showing up, learning, and sharing the truth.
Read the 2nd article in this series "The Truth: Losing Weight is Hard"
https://payhip.com/ImWorthIt/blog/news/the-truth-losing-weight-is-hard
But, you're worth it! Love, Liberty!