Welcome! If you are planning on venturing into a relationship with a Filipina, understanding her cultural differences and societal expectations can go a long way. Here are ten things I wish I knew before dating a Filipina:
1. Family is Everything The concept of family holds a central place in Filipino culture. When you date most Filipinas, you’re not just dating her; you’re entering her family’s world. Expect to spend time with her family, join gatherings, and share meals. Filipinas often seek their family’s approval, so making a good impression is crucial. Of course, this is not with every Filipina. Some may not be that close to their family, they may be an orphan, their parents may be deceased etc. But generally family is very important to them.
2. Respect is Key Filipinos value respect deeply, and it’s woven into their language and customs. Small gestures, such as greeting elders with a respectful "po" or "opo," go a long way. Additionally, respecting her boundaries and traditions will demonstrate that you’re serious and considerate. So compromise and adapting to her culture somewhat is important. You have to be flexible and understanding, especially if you are going to live in the Philippines.
3. Filipino Time is Real The concept of "Filipino Time" refers to a more relaxed attitude toward punctuality. While it’s not universal, it’s something you might encounter. Patience and understanding will help you navigate this cultural quirk. That said, Filipinas also appreciate it when you’re punctual and respectful of their time, which can seem unfair to you.
4. Food is Love Sharing meals is a big part of Filipino culture, and trying Filipino dishes can earn you major points. Whether it’s adobo, sinigang, or lechon, showing enthusiasm for the food she loves will strengthen your connection. Be prepared to attend fiestas where food is abundant and sharing it is a gesture of hospitality. If you don't like a food just smile and keep it to yourself so you don't offend and later on if you are offered it again at another gathering diplomatically say no.
5. Courting Still Matters Traditional courtship is alive and well in the Philippines but Western style dating is becoming more prevalent. Filipinas often appreciate when you put effort into winning their affection. This could involve thoughtful gestures, meaningful conversations, and showing genuine interest in their lives. Being sincere and consistent in your actions will make a lasting impression. On your initial date or first few dates she will often bring a family member or friend. So expect to pay a bit more for the food and drink.
6. Religion Plays a Significant Role The Philippines is predominantly Catholic, and faith plays an integral part in many Filipinas’ lives. If your partner is religious, understanding and respecting her beliefs is essential. You might even find yourself attending mass or participating in religious celebrations with her family. If this does not interest you because you are not religious it's better not to pursue the relationship.
7. Communication Styles May Differ Filipinas often have a more indirect communication style. They may not always express their feelings outright as they tend to avoid confrontation, so learning to read between the lines is important.They are more likely to air their grievances or upset with you to their family, friends or even neighbours.They value kindness and tact in conversations, especially when discussing sensitive topics. If you are untactful or forceful she may do ''tampo'' on you. Tampo is when they stop communicating with you at all and it could last hours, days and even weeks. Also, Filipino humor is different to Western humor and any sarcastic jokes they take literally. So be careful there.
8. Be Ready for Karaoke Nights Karaoke is a national pastime in the Philippines, and many Filipinas enjoy it. Even if you’re not a great singer, joining in will show that you’re open to having fun and embracing her culture. Don’t be surprised if she’s got an impressive singing voice—many Filipinas do! But also don't show displeasure at someone's bad singing voice. One report states that seven Filipinos have been murdered because they laughed at or showed displeasure in guy's who sung the song ''My Way''! They do take insults seriously. It's called ''losing face''.
9. Financial Sensitivity Money matters can be a delicate topic. While Filipinas are independent and hardworking, financial challenges are common in the Philippines as most people don't make a great wage. Some families may rely on each other for support, and this dynamic might influence your relationship as you may be expected to give financial support the family, especially if she is not working or she is but you intend to have babies with her. It’s essential to approach this topic with understanding and open communication. You can always end the relationship and leave her with no money so she will usually value her family more than you. Filipinas also always want babies as there is no real social security and the children when they grow up usually support the mother, at least to some degree.
10. Long-Term Commitment is Valued Many Filipinas take relationships seriously and often date with the intention of finding a long-term partner. Jealousy is EXTREME with most Filipinas. Casual dating is less common but has become more common in recent years with Western culture seeping in through movies and social media influence. Being clear about your intentions and showing commitment will build trust and strengthen your bond.
Bonus Tip: Learn a Few Words in Filipino Making an effort to learn basic Filipino phrases or her native dialect can be endearing. Words like "Mahal kita" (I love you) or "Salamat" (Thank you) can brighten her day and show that you’re invested in her culture.
Final Thoughts
Dating a Filipina can be an incredibly rewarding experience. By being respectful, open-minded, and willing to learn about her culture, you’ll not only grow closer to her but also gain a deeper appreciation for the richness of Filipino traditions. Remember, every person is unique, so take the time to understand and cherish her individuality while embracing the cultural aspects she holds dear.
If you are not willing to make quite a few compromises and change your beliefs and adopt to Filipino culture, probably having a Filipina partner would not be your best option. But the alternative being an older and most likely entitled Western woman tainted by toxic feminity, may help you to change!
For Filipina dating tips and traditions you need to know, I recommend getting my easily downloadable ebook ''How To Meet Filipinas & What To Do On Vacation In The Philippines'' if you have not already got it. Just scroll to the top of this page and click on ''Shop'' to get it.
A great dating site I recommend is ''Christian Filipina'' and you can join by copying and pasting this address into your browser search bar https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1029
If you have any other questions about Filipinas or the Philippines I offer a phone consultation in the ''Shop'' link at the top of the page. So please scroll up and click it.
Thank You,
Jeff Brown
Admin of ''Philippines Fun Expat & Filipina Hangout'' FB group.1