If you’re thinking of moving to the Philippines, or maybe you’ve just started dating a Filipina and you’re still in the honeymoon stage, let me give you a friendly warning: this place runs on its own cultural operating system. Some things you’ll love immediately — the smiles, the food, the karaoke machines that pop up like mushrooms. But then there are the quirks. Three of them, in particular, will make you scratch your head, laugh, or occasionally bang it against the wall: Filipino Time, tampo, and extreme jealousy.
1. “Filipino Time” – Time Is Just a Suggestion
Imagine you set a dinner date for 7 p.m. You shave, shower, put on your best “I’m an expat but not a broke one” shirt, and show up at 6:55 like a good boy. Fast-forward: it’s 7:45, you’re two beers in, the waiter is starting to feel sorry for you, and your date strolls in looking like nothing happened.
That, my friends, is Filipino Time.
It’s not rudeness. It’s not laziness. It’s… well, actually, no one really knows what it is. Traffic, rain, jeepneys breaking down, neighbors dropping by unannounced — you name it, there’s always a reason. But in the Philippines, time is flexible. Like yoga.
Survival tip: Always ask, “Do you mean 7 p.m. sharp, or 7 p.m. Filipino time?” If you don’t clarify, you’ll spend half your life waiting around while everyone else is still in the shower.
2. Tampo – The Silent Treatment, But With Extra Spice
Now, let’s talk about tampo. This is when your Filipina girlfriend suddenly turns into a ninja of silence. She won’t fight, she won’t explain, she won’t even throw a slipper at you. She’ll just… stop. Talking. To. You.
What did you do wrong? Did you forget to text goodnight? Did you laugh too loudly at the waitress’s joke? Did you exist in the wrong way for five minutes? Who knows! Welcome to the game show called Guess Why She’s Mad!
Here’s the kicker: you’re the one who has to fix it. Always. Even if you did absolutely nothing wrong. Flowers, chocolates, “I’m sorry baby” texts, or some dramatic act of affection — that’s your golden ticket.
Pro tip: Don’t get angry, don’t ignore it, and for heaven’s sake don’t say “Why are you being so childish?” unless you enjoy sleeping alone and eating instant noodles for a week.
3. Extreme Jealousy – The National Sport
Jealousy in the Philippines isn’t just an emotion; it’s practically a professional sport. If you’re dating a Filipina, prepare to defend yourself in the Court of Relationship Law on a weekly basis.
- Smile at the cashier? Guilty.
- Take three minutes to reply to a text? Suspicious.
- Like your cousin’s Facebook photo? Betrayal.
And if you think you can hide your phone, forget it. A Filipina’s jealousy radar makes CIA surveillance look amateur.
But let’s be fair: jealousy comes from a place of care. Many Filipinas have seen relationships fall apart due to cheating, so they guard their men like Fort Knox. And if you’re a foreigner, the suspicion level triples — because in her mind, every other woman wants to steal you. (And let’s be honest, sometimes they do.)
Survival tip: Transparency is king. Answer your phone. Reply to messages. Don’t “accidentally” leave lipstick on your shirt. And most importantly, don’t flirt with her best friend unless you have a death wish.
So, Should You Run?
Absolutely not. These quirks might drive you nuts at first, but they also make life in the Philippines… interesting. Filipino Time teaches you patience (or alcoholism, depending on how you cope). Tampo keeps you on your toes and reminds you to actually show affection. And extreme jealousy? Well, let’s just say you’ll never feel ignored.
Once you stop resisting and start laughing, you’ll realize these quirks are just part of the cultural package. Along with karaoke at 2 a.m. and eating spaghetti that somehow has sugar in it.
So embrace it. Next time your date shows up an hour late, smile and order another beer. When tampo strikes, buy the flowers and play the hero. And when jealousy rears its head, take it as proof that somebody cares enough to worry about losing you.
Because at the end of the day, life in the Philippines isn’t about being on time, winning arguments, or proving your innocence — it’s about rolling with the quirks and enjoying the ride.
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Cheers,
Jeff
Admin