This is a story that happens 10,000 times plus a week to Western men in places like the Philippines or Thailand. It is the biggest mistake a man can make with a woman. Men make this mistake because they simply lack self-esteem as they have been demeaned by Western women and Western society to feel somewhat worthless. Enjoy and hope you don't make the same mistake......

Meet Bob.

55 years old.

Divorced after a rocky marriage.

Kids grown and distant.

A man who worked hard all his life in construction, saved up a little nest egg, and thought he was finally ready for some peace, fun, and maybe… real love.

But there was one problem.

Back home in the West, Bob felt invisible. The women his age weren’t interested in him unless he was ready to wine and dine them in style. And the younger women? Forget it. They barely noticed he existed.

He watched as dating apps and social media turned relationships into a game of who had the flashiest photos, the biggest bank account, or the most adventurous lifestyle. And Bob—an ordinary guy with a kind heart and average savings—wasn’t even playing on the same field.

So after one too many lonely nights, Bob did what many men do these days.

He bought a plane ticket to the Philippines.

A Fresh Start… Or So He Thought

When Bob landed in Manila, he felt like he’d stepped into a different world. The warmth of the people, the smiles, the friendliness—it was like night and day compared to what he was used to back home.

And the women? They noticed him. They actually looked him in the eye. Some even flirted. For the first time in years, Bob felt alive again.

He joined a few dating apps, and within hours his phone was buzzing nonstop. Dozens of young, beautiful Filipinas were calling him “baby,” “honey,” and “love.” They told him they liked older men. They told him he was handsome. Bob felt like a king.

He picked one who stood out—Joy, a 28-year-old from Quezon City. She was slim, bubbly, respectful, and called him “sir” at first before quickly switching to “love.” She said she always dreamed of meeting a mature man who would take care of her.

Bob was hooked.

The Wallet Comes Out

Here’s where things went wrong.

Bob didn’t take time to get to know Joy. He didn’t set boundaries. He didn’t test her intentions. Instead, he reached for what he thought was his strongest card: his wallet.

On their first date, he bought her a brand-new smartphone.

By the second week, he was paying her rent.

He started giving her “allowance” money just to show he cared.

Bob told himself, “It’s no big deal. I have savings. And she’s struggling. Once we’re serious, she won’t need to ask anymore.”

But Joy learned quickly that Bob was a giver. And the requests started coming.

“Love, my mother is sick. Can you help with medicine?”

“Baby, my niece needs school fees.”

“Sweetheart, our electricity is about to be cut.”

Each time, Bob pulled out his wallet. He thought he was proving his love.

The Turning Point

After three months of dating, Bob was already thousands of dollars lighter. But he didn’t mind—at least not at first. He believed he was investing in love.

But something changed.

When Bob slowed down the cash flow, the romance began to fade.

The good morning texts turned into one-word replies.

The video calls became “Sorry, busy.”

The warmth in her voice turned into cold excuses.

Bob felt it in his gut, but he didn’t want to believe it.

Then one day, Joy stopped answering altogether. No explanation. Just gone.

And when he checked Facebook, he saw a photo of her with another man—around her age—smiling at the beach.

Bob’s stomach sank.

The Blame Game

Heartbroken, Bob turned to online expat forums and posted his story.

“All Filipinas are gold diggers,” he wrote. “Don’t waste your time. They’ll bleed you dry.”

He got plenty of sympathy from men who had gone through the same thing. But he also got pushback from those who knew better.

“Not all Filipinas are like that,” one man commented. “You just picked wrong—and you led with your wallet.”

Bob didn’t want to hear it. But deep down, he knew it was true.

The Real Lesson

Here’s the hard truth: Bob didn’t get scammed.

Bob scammed himself.

He thought money was the only way to earn love. He thought gifts and cash would make a woman stay. He thought leading with his wallet would win him what he truly wanted—loyalty, intimacy, companionship.

But when you lead with money, don’t be surprised when that’s all people want from you.

The Philippines is full of good-hearted, traditional, loyal women who dream of a strong, kind, older man to build a life with. But those women aren’t impressed by flashy spending or quick handouts.

They’re watching your character.

They’re testing your patience.

They’re looking for signs that you’re a man of values, not just a man of cash.

Bob never gave Joy the chance to see his heart. He showed her his wallet first, and that set the tone for everything that followed.

What Bob Should Have Done

Bob’s story could have gone differently.

He could have taken it slow. Met Joy a few times without pulling out his wallet. Paid for dinner, sure—but not her rent. Not her family’s bills.

He could have asked questions. Observed how she treated waiters, taxi drivers, or kids on the street. Those little details often reveal a person’s true character.

He could have set boundaries: “I don’t give money in relationships. I want to see if we’re really compatible first.”

Most importantly, he could have valued himself enough to realize that he brings more to the table than just money. He has life experience, wisdom, stories, and stability—qualities that good women actually appreciate.

Final Thoughts

Bob came to the Philippines searching for something real.

But instead of leaving his bad habits in the West, he packed them in his suitcase and repeated the same mistakes that made him miserable back home.

And just like before, it ended in heartbreak.

So here’s the lesson for any man thinking of following in Bob’s footsteps:

If you don’t change your mindset, the geography won’t matter.

You can fly 8,000 miles away, but your mistakes will follow you.

Lead with your values, not your wallet.

Take your time. Watch actions, not just words.

And remember—real love can’t be BOUGHT.

It has to be earned.

💬 What do you think of Bob’s story?

Have you met guys like him? Or maybe you were Bob once?

Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your experiences.

If you want to meet good and attractive Filipinas, we have a monthly Manila night out with members in the Philippines Fun facebook group. If not already, grab your membership here to get an invite to our events along with other great perks that will make you a Filipina dating master!

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Cheers,

Jeff Brown

Admin Philippines Fun Expat & Filipina Hangout