Dear Member,
A lot of guys who come to the Philippines are shy, have low self-esteem or are awkward and fear female rejection. Even for most men who are not shy it can be very difficult to go up to a woman who is a total stranger in a mall, park, cafe etc., and start talking with her with the intent to take it further. So what happens to a lot of male visitors to the Philippines who want to meet Filipinas but just can't randomly meet them is that they end up with bargirls or freelance sex workers. So what is the solution to this problem?
Enter the “Pen and Paper” Strategy—a simple, yet brilliant dating approach that allows you to break the ice, engage in meaningful conversation, and show genuine interest in Filipino culture. This strategy is especially useful if you’re shy, unfamiliar with local dating norms, or just looking for a non-intimidating way to meet Filipinas.
Let’s break down how this works and why it’s so effective.
Step 1: The Setup – Get Your Tools Ready
Before heading to the mall, prepare a small notebook or just a piece of paper and a pen. On the paper, write down a short list of common English words that you want to learn in Filipino. These can be simple phrases like:
- Hello
- Thank you
- How are you?
- You’re beautiful
- Nice to meet you
- Where is the best place to eat?
This language-learning approach serves as the perfect excuse to start a conversation with a Filipina you find attractive as the Filipino people LOVE to help foreigners especially if the foreigner is showing interest in their culture..
Step 2: Choose the Right Location
Malls in the Philippines are one of the best places to meet people. They’re social hubs where Filipinas spend time shopping, eating, and hanging out with friends. Choose a casual setting like:
- A café (Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Bo’s Coffee, etc.)
- A food court (plenty of friendly faces here)
- A bookstore (bonus: intellectual points!)
- A quiet seating area in the mall
Find a spot close to a Filipina you fancy, but don’t make it obvious that you’re there just for her. The key is to appear casual and natural.
Step 3: The Approach – Breaking the Ice
Once you’ve settled in, it’s time to make your move. Here’s a simple, friendly way to start the conversation:
🗣 You: “Excuse me, hi! I’m new here, and I’m trying to learn some Filipino words. Do you mind helping me?”
This immediately does three things:
- Shows you’re making an effort to adapt to Filipino culture.
- Gives her an opportunity to help you, which most Filipinas will be happy to do.
- Keeps the conversation light, friendly, and pressure-free.
Most Filipinas appreciate when a foreigner tries to learn their language, and this makes the conversation feel natural rather than like a forced pickup line.
Step 4: Keep the Conversation Flowing
Once she starts helping you, don’t just write down the translations—engage her in conversation. Ask follow-up questions like:
- “Oh, that’s interesting! Do you use this word every day?”
- “Are there any funny slang words I should know?”
- “What’s the best way to greet someone politely?”
This not only keeps her engaged but also gives you an insight into Filipino culture, making you more attractive as someone who’s genuinely interested in her world.
At this point, you’ll likely start seeing her body language open up—she might smile more, laugh, or even tease you about your pronunciation. That’s a good sign!
Step 5: The Natural Transition
After a few minutes of fun conversation, it’s time to steer the interaction toward something more personal while keeping it natural.
You can say something like:
- “Thank you so much! You’ve been really helpful. By the way, do you like coffee? Maybe I can buy you one as a thank-you?”
- “I feel like I should reward my first Filipino teacher—do you have a favorite café here?”
By this point, she already feels comfortable with you. If she’s interested, she’ll either agree or suggest another time. If she politely declines, no worries—you’ve still had a great conversation and built your confidence.
Why This Strategy Works So Well
✔ It feels organic and non-threatening – You’re not coming off as a “pickup artist” but as someone genuinely trying to learn.
✔ It sparks curiosity – Filipinas love when foreigners try to embrace their culture.
✔ It creates a connection through collaboration – Instead of just complimenting her looks, you’re engaging her in a meaningful way.
✔ It allows for an easy transition – From language learning to casual coffee date—smooth and natural.
Final Tips for Success
✅ Dress neatly – First impressions matter. No need for a suit, but clean and presentable is key.
✅ Be confident but not pushy – If she seems uninterested, move on gracefully.
✅ Have fun with it – The more playful and lighthearted you are, the better the interaction.
✅ Learn a few words beforehand – Saying “Salamat!” (Thank you) will show extra effort.
Conclusion: Try It and See the Magic Happen!
The Pen and Paper Strategy isn’t just a great way to meet Filipinas—it’s also a fantastic way to immerse yourself in Filipino culture and build connections naturally. So, the next time you’re at a mall in the Philippines, grab a pen and paper with a bunch of English words you want translated, find a comfy seat near a lady you like the look of, and see where the conversation takes you.
Good luck, and happy dating! 🇵🇭✨
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Cheers,
Jeff
Admin ''Philippines Fun Expat & Filipina Hangout'' FB group